Full of Shit on the Fourth

Inquiring minds want to know how my bowel movements have been, so I decided to write my Shit Horoscope.  My pooping habits haven't been regular lately. Constipation has been ruling my zone with occasional diarrhea increasing the unpleasant atmosphere in my colon. There are either too many poo vibes or not enough. Advice from others is not likely to be helpful, but fresh perspectives could change my outlook. Being full of shit is essential before the moon will allow waves in the bowl.

In all seriousness, constipation has been an issue for the past month or two. I'm shitting once every three to four days. While diarrhea is a huge relief from the constipation it still sucks! Constipation drags me down and diarrhea wipes me out.  Before the surgery, I pooped three to four times a day. When I go one day without taking a crap, my stomach  starts to feel uncomfortable. Each day of constipation adds to the pressure in my gut. I get the sensation of having to poop, and then I sit on the toilet for hours with no success. The feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night. 

On July 4th, I ran a four mile race with Lynn. I had not pooped in four days and being full of all the shit slowed me down. It wasn't until I arrived at the race that I realized how terrible I felt. My stomach didn't feel well. I had the urge to poop, but I knew I wouldn't be able to so I didn't even try. I walked a lot.  It was hard to run with the uneasy feeling. My average pace was 11 minutes per mile, which was slower than my first race back after surgery. I was definitely disappointed in my performance because my training runs leading up to the race were significantly better. 

I can turn off nearly every thought except my thoughts about the state of my bowels. When will I poop again? When will I stop pooping? What if I shit myself at work? Can you tell I'm constipated right now by looking at my face? If I poop before my run, it will be an amazing run! I am bearing down too hard. I'm going to give myself hemorrhoids. What if I have a blockage?  I sweated more sitting on the toilet trying to push out a tiny dip n' dot turd than I did when I ran the four mile race. I just want a beautiful bowel movement every day. I will be grateful for my good shits even though they don't occur as frequently as I would like.

 

Sub-Two or Bust

I signed up for the summer/fall season of MarathonFest!

When I joined MarathonFest in the summer/fall of 2016 to train for the NYC Marathon, I was rushed to get to 10 miles after my minor surgery in April of 2016. Desperately trying to feel better, I switched from Cimzia to Remicade during that time as well. I basically had two months to go from being out of shape to being able to run 10 miles in order to keep up with the the NYC training schedule once the season started in 2016.

I want to do it differently this time around. I don't want to be rushed. I plan on sticking with half marathons this season and at the moment I'm only registered for one. Rather than starting when the season starts in June, I currently plan to build most of my running base outside of MarathonFest for the next few months. I want to get faster so that I will be able to join a faster pace group.  I'm aiming to start running with them regularly in September when my mileage increases for half marathon training. My goal for the OUC Half Marathon in December is to finish in under two hours. That means I would need to average a 9:09 pace for 13.1 miles. I can only run one mile at that pace. In fact, my first mile today was a 9:04. (my second mile was a 9:47). I have a little over six months to train hard and build the endurance it will take to maintain the pace during my first mile today for twelve more miles. This seems realistic, right?

When I achieve a sub-two hour half marathon, I will seriously consider committing to train to qualify for the Boston Marathon. I hate commitment, but this kind of excites me!

I Can Always Run Two Miles

My journey back to running has been smoother than I thought it would be. Prior to March 18, 2018, my last run had been the Space Coast Half Marathon on November 26, 2017. If you don't know what I went through between that period of time, look at my previous posts. Once again it feels like I'm starting over. Whether it's true or not, I think I can always run two miles. Okay, maybe it's not exactly true. Take a look at my stats below and see how fast my body is capable of bouncing back though.

• The first time I decided to see what it would feel like to run again, I jogged on and off during my walk and logged 2.23 miles in 31:46 on March 18th. Keep in mind that this was just two and a half weeks after my last surgery and it was a week and a half to three and a half weeks before I was technically supposed to do any "strenuous activity". Running isn't strenuous, right?
• Since the trial run felt okay, the second time I laced up I intentionally went on a run and logged 2 miles in 25:05 on March 20th. 
• On my eighth run back, I logged 2 miles in 20:23 on April 4th. 

Running feels a lot different than I remember it feeling before my surgeries. It feels easier somehow even though I'm out of shape.  I'm training for a few 5Ks to ease back into it. Eight runs in the past three weeks have prepared me for the Riverside Dash 5K tomorrow! While I will not be setting a personal record at the race tomorrow, it will be a huge victory for me to cross that finish line.

In general, my running goals are to go at my own pace and listen to my body.  At the end of May, I will re-evaluate more specific running goals to determine realistic pace goals, target races, and training plans. I have long term running goals in the back of my mind, but they seem too crazy to take them seriously right now.  My best running days are ahead of me! 

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been and what have I been doing? Don't mind me, I've just been in my own little world working hard and enjoying life. I'm still working like crazy and I'm loving it!

In the Spring Fever "It's for the Kids" 10K on March 4th, I was the first female finisher!!! It's the first race I've ever won!!! I won a $50 Track Shack gift certificate!  Dang, I should get faster and win more races! ;)

I met my Team Challenge friends for breakfast one Saturday. It was nice to catch up with everyone! Since I met them back in 2013, they have truly inspired and supported me.  Their understanding is different from my other friends' and family's because they know first hand some of the shit I've been through and vice versa. When they hug me for a half second longer to squeeze a little tighter before letting go, I feel their empathy on another level!

I was fortunate enough to be one of the four people selected to be on a four person bowling team my company sponsored to benefit Leadership Seminole.  It was a one day event and I bowled a 135 in my highest scoring game! It was fun to network with co-workers I don't get to work with often.

I took my Dad to the second session of the first round of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament in Orlando. We saw Xavier vs. Maryland and FSU vs. FGCU.  It was great spending time with him! I should make more of an effort to do more things with him.

I missed placing 3rd in my age group in the Chase the Leprechaun 5K on Friday by 6 seconds.  I can't be mad with 4th in my age group though. I had a side stich in the middle of the race, so I walked for a bit only to realize it was really gas cramps. Once I let out some gas, I felt better and started running again. I hate that gas cramps slowed me down, but I still finished in 29:14, which is a sub 30 minute 5k averaging 9:26 per mile and that is no easy feat!

The Need for Speed!

It has been three days since I ran the 5K on Saturday and I am still experiencing a runner's high. A bunch of women from my MarathonFest pace group ran the Lady Track Shack 5K. Prior to the start of the race, when we were discussing everyone's race strategy, I boldly confessed that I turned off the intervals on my watch. Yes, I planned to run the whole 5K without walking. No one else wanted to join me in my endeavor to run my ass off, so I left them in the dust as soon as I crossed the start line.
A few days before the race, I told my ugly stepsister that my unrealistic goal was a sub 28 minute 5K.

For the first mile, I wasted a lot of energy weaving in and out of the slower people. Thankfully, after the first mile, I was around runners maintaining a steady 8:45 per mile pace. Since I haven't been speed training my pace was all over the place, so I used the lady in front of me as a pacer.There was a water stop around the halfway point, but I decided to keep hauling ass instead of stopping for water.  Right before I reached mile three, I was sucking wind trying to catch my breath from running faster than I've ran in years. I know I slowed down a little towards the end. Although as soon as I rounded the corner and saw the finish line I sprinted to cross the line!   I finished in 27.42!!!! I ran the 5K about two to three minutes faster than most of the ladies in my pace group.  I'm a little shocked that I actually ran a sub 28 minute 5K! I'm not sure what my 5K PR was, but I'm going to say this may have been the fastest 5K I've ran under my name. My average pace was 8:54 minutes per mile. I placed 171 out of 2,263 participants, which means I finished in the top ten percent! Imagine how much faster I could have ran the 5K if I trained for speed.

Even though I love my pace group, I think it's time to start pushing the pace outside of my comfort zone. I plan to dabble in a faster pace group this MarathonFest session.  I ran one mile tonight in 8 minutes and 20 seconds. I think I could have ran faster if the cold weather didn't burn my lungs. The pace group I currently run with averages 10:30 - 11:30 minutes per mile. I know I can be fast, I just don't know how to train to maintain a consistent fast pace during longer runs. I would love to train for a sub 25 minute 5k, a sub 2 hour half marathon, a sub 4 hour marathon...or a BQ (Boston Qualifying time)!

"Run often. Run long. But never outrun your joy for running."

I have a lot going on that I'm not mentally prepared to blog about yet. Let's talk about running instead.

We are already nineteen days into the new year, and so far I've only ran twice this year. The first time was at the marathon I ran on the eighth and the second time being this morning. To tell the truth, I needed a break from running. I trained hard for more than six months and towards the end of last year I wasn't enjoying it as much I usually do. I felt a burnt out. It felt like a chore. I don't know who said "Run often. Run long. But never out run your joy for running.", but they are right! Maybe it was post race blues, or maybe I was over training. 

Anyway, the break did me good. I signed up for the next session of MarathonFest, which started this week. I woke up at 4AM and made it to the early run with my trusted running crew today. I needed the run this morning. I have been so stressed about my uncle's death, my crazy work schedule, and fighting a cold that the hour of running this morning helped relieve some stress.  After my run this morning, I went to the gym to shower and get ready for work. OMG! I forgot my shower shoes, so I decided showering at the gym in socks would be better than showing bare foot. I put my disgustingly soaked soaks in the trash when I was done. It was a nightmare and now I'm super worried my feet are going to get funky. As soon as I got home tonight I put my shower shoes in my gym bag and scrubbed my feet clean. I will never forget them again!!!

Although I'm not training for anything specific this session (except a few 5Ks, but I don't count those as races I have to train for), I'm sure I'll find some half marathons to run before the session ends in May. I'm looking forward to running for fun again!

Runner's High

I'm going to just jump right into this post. I ran the Space Coast Half Marathon on Sunday, November 27th in 2:28: 06. It was a good race with three ladies from my MarathonFest group. It's never fun to race while I'm on my period, but I made the most of it. No real cramps; however, around mile 9 I started to slow down because I wasn't feeling well.  I finished a few minutes after the other ladies in my group and caught up with them for a picture after the race. We enjoyed some post race chocolate milk and soon afterwards I found myself in a porta-potty barfing the chocolate milk and perhaps even dinner the night before. The girls were great. One of them gave me a baby wipe so that I could clean up a bit, and then they walked with me to get some water. I cut the post race party sort because I wasn't feeling well. I wanted to wait for Kim to cheer her on at the finish line, but instead I texted her to tell her that I got sick and I would wait for her in the car. I was really happy with a sub 2:30 half marathon! I'm really happy to see my hard work of training for the last several months paying off.

Less than a week after the Space Coast Half, I ran the OUC Half Marathon on Saturday, December 3rd.  I met a few people from my running group for a group photo before the race. Almost everyone split off and did their own thing except for Michelle (my Ugly Stepsister), Sara, and I. Sara stayed with Michelle and I until mile 6, and then she let us take off. She did catch us briefly while I was enjoying my second cup of beer along the course right before mile 10, but again she told us to go ahead. I was actually the one pacing us most of the race. Even though we talked about how we were feeling every mile or so to see if we needed to adjust the pace, we both agreed to keep pushing. We posted a 10 minute mile during the seventh mile of the race. After that, I tried to make an effort to slow down a little. Michelle makes running fun by talking nonstop, telling stories, telling jokes, and getting to know the runners around us. She forgot her salt tablets and I knew when she got quiet around mile 10.5 that she wasn't at 100%. She didn't say she was struggling and I kept a steady pace even though there were times I had to look back to make sure I didn't lose her. Once we turned the final corner and had the finish line in sight, she said "Go, Lauren, go!" I knew that was her telling me to take off and sprint towards the finish line. I finished in 2:24:55!!! Another sub 2:30 half! Plus, it was over 3 minutes faster than the Space Coast Half the week before. Michelle didn't finish too far behind me. I went to give her a high five right after she crossed the finish line and she opened her arms and gave me the biggest hug. She thanked me for pushing her and said that if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have been able to post the time she did. Afterwards, she told me that she was cramping up (salt tablets help prevent her cramps), but didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to slow me down. 

OUC was a great test run since we plan to run the Disney Marathon together. Racing is always different from training runs, so it was good to race together and see if we want to change our strategy.  I have mad respect for the way she pushed through the discomfort and finished strong.  We agreed that our pace will be intentionally slower at Disney. I'm thankful to have someone to run with that pushes me as much as I push her. Since we are part of a Track Shack training program, we had VIP access, which included fancy porta-potties, and an area with food, tables and chairs.We met up with Sandra from our group and we enjoyed the sandwiches and cookies in the VIP area. I met Michelle's wife, son, and brother. It was great to finally meet her wife whose brother is struggling with Crohn's. We chatted about his current situation and medication and I gave what advice I could knowing that everyone's disease is different. She thinks that I represent the hope of the good days that are ahead for him, and I pray he finds relief from the horrible symptoms of Crohn's disease. He is also a runner and I completely understand the separate pain that can come from not being able to do what you love.  Although I'm beyond grateful for my health, I can't help but have a sense of survival guilt. I am not taking these healthy days for granted.

Ragnar Trail Relay is up next!

29 Days Left!!

Where has the time gone? In one month, running the NYC Marathon will be a mere memory. I will have achieved a huge dream of mine by crossing the finish line in Central Park! Even though I'll likely walk funny and be in pain after the race, I cannot wait!!! The pain I feel after I've put forth my best effort is one of the most rewarding feelings and sweetest victories around. After I cross the finish line, I want to be able to say, "I left everything I have out on the course!" I'm hesitant to set a time goal. Perhaps part of me is cowardly because I don't want to set a time goal and disappoint myself. However, I think the real reason it's difficult for me to set a time goal is because I'm not sure I know what a realistic goal would be. Sure, I know which pace group I train with, but there are going to be different factors that I haven't encountered before. The weather will likely be drastically cooler with lower humidity than the weather I've been training in, which will actually increase my overall speed. But then there are the hills and bridges, which might slow me down. The first mile is all up hill on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge and then the course is relatively flat until mile 15. Honestly, I'm a little intimidated about the second half of course being full of bridges and hills. The other factor that comes into play is the crowd. I've been told the crowd can carry a runner through the race. There are going to be millions of people on the sidelines cheering throughout the race. Once we get into Manhattan the crowd in some places are known to be more than ten people deep just lining the course encouraging the runners! The last factor that has me a bit concerned is the fact that I am almost certain Aunt Flow will be accompanying me during the race.  Won't that be fun??? My main goal is to have fun during race. I want to run in the moment and enjoy the dream I worked so hard for! Although a PR would be nice. lol

The race is 29 days away!!! This is it people! I am really going to run the TCS NYC Marathon! I didn't run this week as I was letting blisters heal from my half marathon on Sunday. To make matters worse, my long run this weekend with the group was cancelled because of Hurricane Matthew.  I don't think a week off will set me back since I've stayed on track with training very well for the most part.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get a run in on my own this weekend. It probably wont be 16 miles like my schedule suggests, but anything is better than nothing. Plus, I have my longest training run on my schedule set for October 15th. I'm going to attempt a 20 miler with my group, so I'm not going to beat myself over taking it a little easy leading up to that long run.

I am super excited about the NYC trip!!! I have a lot of expectations and I have no doubt NYC will deliver and exceed them!

Healthy and Loving It!

It has been great to feel as healthy as most of the people around me. I'm not struggling to keep up. I'm not faking the smile on my face and I'm not pretending to feel well. When I'm not feeling well, I dread making plans because it's difficult to predict how I'll be feeling at a certain moment in time. Will I be in pain? Will I need a bathroom? Will I have the energy it takes? I didn't even ask myself those questions when I made plans like a boss this weekend.

After work on Friday I went to the Maroon 5 concert. Tove Lo opened the show and she was incredible. Seriously, check out her music.  I thought her take on love was interesting. In one song she proclaims "I'm not on drugs / I'm not on drugs / I'm just in love" and in another song she explains "You're gone and I gotta stay / High all the time / To keep you off my mind". So, basically love is a drug and I've never taken a hit. I'm as clean and as sober as can be.  I love Maroon 5, but honestly I only know Maroon 5 as Adam Levine. I love when he hits the high notes! They put on an amazing show and it was fun hanging out with Kim! Kim and I left a little early from the show because I had a long Saturday ahead of me. We left around 10:45PM and by the time I got home and laid out my running stuff for the morning, it was around 11:30PM by the time I went to bed.

Surprisingly, I woke up without hesitation when my alarm went off at 4:05AM so that I could meet my running group at 5:30AM. My legs were so stiff and sore from cross-training this week that I wasn't sure if I could even run. My quads were super tight, but I still got ready and left to meet some of my running group in Apopka for the hills option this week.  I need all the hill training I can get. The hills and bridges in the NYC Marathon make me the most nervous about the race. My plan was 10 miles but I stopped after 7 miles and I'm okay with that. The biggest accomplishment was getting out of bed and out the door to run at all, so I won't beat myself over a few missed miles. I can tell I'm getting stronger because I no longer get the urge to stop and walk up a hill. I've learned to pump my arms harder to pull myself up the hill as well as shortening my stride for more efficiency. Eventually, I did loosen up a little on the run, but I got tight again after I was done.

Once I got home, took a shower, and found my Gator gear, it was time to get ready to head to the Gator football game. That's right, I was running off of about 4 and a half hours of sleep and I didn't take a nap! My friend Miguel (my friend Brittany's husband) invited me to go to the Gator game. He got tickets through the Wounded Warrior Project.  The car ride to the game passed quickly as he told all about a video game he's been playing and trying to get into the top 500 players. We arrived to the tailgate area for the Wounded Warrior Project at noon. They provided a tent with chairs, food, drinks, and a TV to watch the Michigan UCF game (poor UCF). It was great to meet other warriors. One little boy came up to me and poked me with the foam finger he had, so I smiled and played with him. Suddenly, he dropped the finger and kissed me on my check! His dad yelled, "Son, you can't just go around kissing women!" LOL After they passed out our tickets, Miguel and I went shopping. We went to the bookstore on campus, but he didn't see anything in there. Next, we walked around to find the store he got a shirt at last time we went. Somehow we found it! While we were waiting to cross a street a very intoxicated young lady walked up, put her hand on my shoulder and said "Come on, let's just fucking go." Thankfully, by the time she started walking it was actually safe to walk and she stumbled her way across the street. I just wondered where her friends were. Friends shouldn't let friends walk around intoxicated, by themselves. We even heard some Gator fans say "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty" because Kentucky's mascot is the Wildcat. Haha Once we were in the stadium and found our seats, the weather report at the stadium said it was 97 degrees! I'm glad they handed out fans to use to help keep cool. Throughout the game we saw the medics in our section three different times with a stretcher. From what I saw it was older folks likely suffering from heat exhaustion.  The Gators came out strong! Now, it could have been because Kentucky sucks, but I thought Luke Del Rio, our new quarterback, made solid plays. I'm excited to watch him this season because I like it when quarterbacks actually throw the ball long and take more risks. We kicked butt! I think the final score was 45 to 7! I had fun with Miguel. It was such an awesome game to watch!

By the time I got home and told my dad all about the game (my mom said he watched every minute of the game on TV to see if he would see me in the stands even tough I told him we were sitting pretty high up.), I was finally able to go to bed. It was a fun 24+ hours and I felt great, but I was super tired! Awesome weekend with awesome people!!!

This is My Story

The TCS NYC Marathon website has a page for runners to submit their stories.

"Who or what has inspired you to run the TCS New York City Marathon? If you have overcome a challenge or are raising awareness for an organization or cause, please include the details. (500 characters or less)"

I'm thinking about submitting my story, but first I want to get your feedback on what I have so far:

My inspiration to run has come from different places over the years. In the beginning, my dad inspired me to run kid fun runs and 5ks. Not only did I run because I wanted to be like my dad, I also ran because getting matching Turkey Trot t-shirts excited my six year old self.  In first grade, I always ran hard to be at the front of the pack while we ran around the track during P.E.  In high school, I was inspired to run to stay in shape for basketball season. Eventually, after high school, my dad inspired me to run my first marathon in 2008. We got matching t-shirts for the marathon, too!  Because my dad inspired me to become a runner, he also inadvertently inspired me to run the TCS New York City Marathon.

My struggle with Crohn’s disease has also inspired me to run the TCS New York City Marathon. Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory bowel disease. It causes chronic inflammation in my gastrointestinal tract, which can lead to diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, stomach pain, and weight loss among other symptoms.  Crohn’s can be extremely painful and debilitating. Even though there is not a known cure for Crohn’s disease, there are drugs available that can help reduce the symptoms.  

While struggling through symptoms at the beginning of the year, I entered the 2016 TCS New York City Marathon lottery because I needed motivation to start running again. I needed a bucket list race to train for to inspire me to get back on the roads. During the thirteen years I’ve struggled with Crohn’s disease, running has become a symbol of strength and perseverance for me.  There have been days when I was in too much pain or  was too fatigued to get out of the door. There have also been days I ran through the pain and the fatigue to prove to myself that I can still be strong, I can still persevere.  

Since winning the TCS NYC Marathon lottery, I’ve had minor surgery and I’ve started different medication to treat my condition in an attempt to limit my symptoms.  In the months following my surgery and medication change, I have felt better than I’ve felt in a decade. I refuse to let Crohn’s permanently take running away from me. Every time Crohn’s disease knocks me down, I will get back up and fight. I will get back up and run. I will be running the TCS NYC Marathon to prove to myself that Crohn’s disease will not beat me in the long run.

One Run Does Not Define the Season

This morning's run was really difficult. It was already in the 80's when we started at 5:15am. It was super humid and sticky (95% humidity). Sweat was just sitting on my skin and not evaporating to help cool me down. My pace group is 10:30 - 11:30 minutes per mile; however, on long runs they say we're 11:00 - 11:30 minutes per mile and suggest that we should slow down further to adjust to the hot weather. Well, this is MarathonFest and apparently MarathonFest is always in badass beast mode because when they say we should slow down, we don't or we run faster. During my 10 miles this morning, I was wondering why it felt challenging to keep up with my group.  At the end, I found out that we were maintaining a 10:38 per mile pace!  Clearly, that's on the fast end of our pace group. Furthermore, the 10:38 pace includes walk breaks and water stops, so we must have really been booking it when we were actually running. Nonetheless, I survived another "long" run even though I didn't finish as strongly as I would have liked to. One run does not define the season. I'm sure there will be more difficult runs along my journey to the finish line in NYC. After all, the reason I'm training is to make race day easier. If it wasn't for my group, I would have quit at mile six. I should embrace difficult runs and be proud of the fact that I got out there and ran 10 miles today. I'm stronger for it!

I Did the Unthinkable... I Joined a Gym

So, MarathonFest starts in two weeks. I really want to make their morning runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I would be rushed to make it back home, shower, and leave for work on time. My mom had the idea of joining a gym that's located on my way to work and use their showers instead so that I won't be as rushed to get ready after my runs. First, I was thinking of Planet Fitness because they're cheap. Then, I was talking while walking the mall with my cube neighbor, Ashleigh, on our lunch break and she was telling me about the the Athletic Apex Health Club that will be opening in the mall soon. She's already joined and took me to their info area so that I could learn more about it.  Not only do they have private showers, they also have shampoo, soup, conditioner, and a towel service. They have an aroma therapy room where they host yoga and Pilates. They have another room for Zuma and other class and yet another room for spin classes. They have tons of work out equipment and even an outdoor workout area for their version of crossfit. 

Even though I was just looking for a gym for showers, I ended up convincing myself that I could benefit from cross training for the marathon, so I registered. I decided to pay annually rather than monthly and locked in my lifetime guaranteed rate that averages about $20 per month. There's no contract, so I can cancel anytime I want and they will refund based on the pro rata share of my annual membership status (months used in annual membership).  Athletic Apex is scheduled to open next month. Hopefully it opens in time for my MarathonFest showering needs. If it doesn't, I might just have to rush to get ready until it opens.  I'm excited to start strength training and cross training.  Maybe I'm working toward getting into the best shape of my life for the NYC marathon. Although I've been in some pretty wicked awesome shape in my life, so it'll take a lot of work to get there.  I might even do some classes with Ashleigh before and/or after work.

10 Minute Miles

My NYC Marathon training is going well!  I'm still on track. I'm honestly surprised how well I was able to jump back into my training schedule without missing a beat. Sure, I missed a few runs, but my recovery was so quick that it didn't slow me down too much. It's way easier to run when my ass isn't in pain. I didn't modify my training schedule at all last week. In fact, I'm running faster than I have in years. Today, I finished The Get Your Rear in Gear 5K (3.1 miles) in 31:02, which means I kept exactly a 10 minute per mile pace!!! Go me! There were quite a few Florida hills along the course that slowed me down a little, but I'm still happy with a 10 minute/mile pace. My Fitbit thought I climbed 15 flights of stairs. I finished 5th in my gender's age bracket, 21 - 30 year olds. It felt awesome to finish strong knowing that I wouldn't have been able to run like this a couple months ago. The weather is already hotter than balls and summer is just getting started. The good news is that I know I could run faster in cooler weather. I'm happy it will likely be cold in NYC in November as long as it doesn't snow. Side note: I've never ran in snow before.

I've been feeling great lately! My BM's are beautiful! I'm running off of less sleep. This past week I only averaged 6 hours of sleep per night. My appetite is increasing and I've been hungry a lot. I hope Remicade continues to make me feel strong and healthy.

An Update

It hasn't even been a week and I'm already getting antsy. I'm restless mostly because the New York City Marathon is on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled I'll be back pounding my feet against the pavement sooner than originally planned. However, it's still frustrating to wait it out because my hopes are high. I've been on Pinterest looking at a bunch of workout motivation. It inspired me to incorporate some cross training in with my marathon training once I start training again. I'm excited to feel my body get stronger and my mentality get tougher throughout the next few months.

I went to see my gastro yesterday to talk about medication options. It's a little scary knowing that there aren't a lot of effective treatment options available. The two options my doc recommended were to add 6MP to my treatment while continuing with Cimzia or stopping Cimzia and switching to Remicade.

I was on 6MP for years after I was first diagnosed with Crohn's. Now, looking back I wonder if my parents even knew what 6MP is. I certainly didn't know or care at the time. It's actually a chemo therapy drug.  Anti-cancer drugs are pretty common in Crohn's treatment, but I think it's a little harsh. It's really bad for the liver and frequent lab tests need to be done to monitor its affect on the kidneys and liver. There is also a higher risk of lymphoma when taking Cimzia with 6MP than other options. Isn't that ironic? My first treatment strategy was to exhaust all of my options with Cimzia before stopping it. Once you stop a biologic like Cimzia, you can't go back on it because your body will build antibodies against it and reject it.  I just don't think it makes sense to keep moving forward with Cimzia because it hasn't been very effective for a while now. Most of the medication options are frightening, but 6MP is a little scarier than other options in my opinion.

That leaves me with Remicade, which is an infusion I can't administer myself. I'm told this is a more potent treatment for Crohn's and most patients see better results with it than with Cimzia. Remicade is a TNF blocker like Cimzia with similar risks. It's way more expensive than Cimzia, so I'm in the process of figuring out if my insurance will cover it before I can make the switch. Thankfully, I have a nurse advocate helping me figure it all out. I'm surprisingly excited at the possibility of bidding Cimzia farewell.


In other news, Ticketmaster finally released my tickets to Halsey on July 6th at the CFE Arena! I'm super stoked about that.

Stressed Out and Unable to Run

I was doing some research and I found an article on Healthline that stated, "...abscesses occur in about one-fourth of people with Crohn's disease. Abscesses often need to be drained, or surgery may sometimes be suggested." Usually, I avoid doing research like this because the results stress me out. I find myself to be in the one quarter of patients with Crohn's disease that has had an abscess occur. Those aren't good odds.  It feels like I definitely drew the short end of the stick. 

According to CCFA "...up to 75% of people with Crohn's disease will eventually require surgery." I know surgery is a real possibility, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm in denial about that possibility. It freaks me out that an abscess may lead to needing surgery.


I haven't ran since my awesome three mile run last Saturday. The pain from the abscess has had me sidelined.  I know this won't likely be my only roadblock on my journey to the NYC Marathon finish line, so I'm taking it in stride. I listened to my body earlier this week and rested rather than pushing through the pain and going for a run. I'm listening to my Doctors so that I can get better as soon as possible. My motivation is still through the roof! Mentally, I'm feeling stronger than ever, so the abscess and antibiotics are not getting me down. Surprisingly, I feel postitive and I'm determined to get back on track once I feel better.

3 Miles Down, 23.2 Miles To Go

Isn't it incredible what our bodies and minds can be trained to do? I am extremely fortunate how easy it is for my body to get back into shape when I'm feeling well. It's almost not fair to others. How many people can go from not being able to run one mile straight to being able to run three miles straight in 33 minutes in just three weeks? If you've been a beginner runner before, you know that's not something just anyone can do. I trained for a 5k in three weeks and that seems insanely awesome!!! A typical couch to 5k training program is 8-10 weeks long. Running feels right and I'm thrilled with how well training is going so far. It's been wonderful to hit the roads and trails even if it's already getting hot. My body is building strength and endurance every week!

I'm not really sure what the purpose is of the following paragraph, but it's just a glimpse of what goes on inside my head. Read at your own risk and feel free to judge me silently.

When I was going to counseling (oh by the way, I stopped) one of the things I told my counselor was that I feel like without my chronic illness I would be superhuman. The disease brings me down to even the playing field with regular, healthy folks.  Now, I know this might make me sound like an arrogant asshole. I also know it's not ideal to believe that this disease gives me limitations in life. However, the fact is that chronic illness is a constant battle. I am a fighter and I would be lying if I said I am unaffected by it. In moments of wellness, it feels like I am superhuman. By saying it "evens the playing field," I mean that I can do anything any regular, healthy person can do; however, if I wasn't sick, I think my potential would have a higher capacity for awesomeness.  I don't like to use Crohn's as a crutch or an excuse. If you know me, you know eventually I will persevere through my struggles.  When I'm not depressed, I think I'm pretty damn awesome!

Mystery Pain

After I got home from work on Friday, I went to the bathroom to take a crap like usual. I would consider it a fairly decent bowel movement, but for some reason it left me in so much pain that I had trouble standing up from the toilet. The pain was coming from inside my rectum and it felt almost like I had a sharp edged turd begging to be let out. I hobbled my way out of the bathroom and into the family room where my sister, Kelly, sat. She knew by the sound of my footsteps that something was wrong before I even entered the room. Once she took a look at me and saw how much pain I was in, her first response was, "Do we need to get you to the hospital?" Of course, I waived off the suggestion. Kelly helped me to my bed, and then brought me some water and pain meds.

Inside my butt was in extreme discomfort and it was so bad that I thought I felt slight agony towards my vagina, too. Staying still in bed seemed to take the edge off a bit. I was at a loss of what was happening and Kelly simply said, "It's Crohn's." She was right. It was fucking Crohn's disease. The pain finally subsided about two hours later. I am so glad it happened at home and not while I was at work. Episodes like this scare me even though I act as if it doesn't phase me. It makes me question my quest for independence and my ability to fully take care of myself in the future. 75 % of Crohn's patients will require surgery.  With my disease history it's likely I'll be part of that 75% one day, but not today.

I woke up Saturday morning with no signs of the pain I experienced the night before, so I laced up and went for an outstanding two mile run at a 10 minute and 48 second pace per mile! Already attaining that pace only two weeks into training has me pumped!

Coming Down from the High

Dare I say this week has been the best week ever! I know, I know I won't shut up about it.

I ran 6 miles this week and today I knocked off over two minutes from my two mile time on Tuesday.  I love it when my body feels good! It's only my first week of training and I was already able to run two miles without stopping for a walk break today. Today I ran two miles in 22 minutes and 13 seconds. That's pretty good considering how out of shape I am. I hope to keep improving. My motivation has been through the roof and I am head over heels in love with running again. I know health is always an uncertainty, but my goal is to train hard, train smart, and finish strong. If I can do that, I believe I can get a PR in NYC. My training schedule has been made, but right now my focus is to get ready for the Corporate 5k on April 7th. I can't wait to run with some co-workers! My company is giving every employee that crosses the finish line a Fitbit!

My first training day in my new position yesterday went well. My new supervisor had a lengthy conversation with me about how I got the position. I found out that I beat out six other candidates for the job. Originally my new supervisor already had a different internal candidate in mind for the position and was just going to offer it to that person, but the CEO told her that she had to open the position to everyone. She got two other ladies from her department to help with the hiring process since she felt she was biased. Evidently, my cover letter really gave me an edge because it showed my amazing writing ability. The person that my new supervisor originally wanted for the position is a Project Assistant, so he/she already has some experience and is familiar with contracts and work flow, but he/she didn't have a strongly written cover letter and didn't have a college degree. After all of the interviews, my new supervisor consulted with the two ladies from her department and they both chose me for the position. My new supervisor also agreed that I was the best for the position because I was also the best communicator in the interview.  They all felt that it would be easier to train someone from scratch, which it's anticipated that it will take up to two years for me to fully learn the position, than to train someone how to communicate proficiently even if they already have some experience.  My new position will be communicating with executives on a daily basis, so they felt it was extremely important to have someone competent that can write e-mails and such without having to proof read everything.

I am so proud of myself for really earning this position. This position will be a change of pace that will take some adjusting to. It's strange not knowing anything and not being able to really be productive at this point. At least, my new supervisor understands that it's a slow learning process. Its not slow because I'm not smart, it's slow because there's a lot of information to learn and a lot of decisions are circumstantial. There aren't necessarily rules for everything. Rather, there are guidelines with multiple directions.  I can already tell she is going to be a great mentor. She knows her field well and she has passion for what she does. I can't wait to get on her level of understanding. The way she manipulates words and negotiates contracts is impressive. So far, I'm really intrigued. So far, I feel dumb.

Life is Good

Today, I finished my last payroll run at Wharton-Smith. It was bittersweet. I have loved working in the payroll office and learning from my amazing supervisor. There was not one day I woke up not wanting to go to work. That's how much I enjoyed it! It has been a great experience and I am truly going to miss it. I will be wrapping up my responsibilities as payroll assistant and training someone how to do some of my tasks. Even though my official start date is March 21st (That's the date my pay increase takes effect), my soft transition begins this Friday. This Friday, I'll be training with my new supervisor! Next week, I'll be back in payroll Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday; and then I'll be training with my new supervisor on Thursday and Friday. After the 21st, I will officially be the contracts/risk specialist and I may float back to payroll occasionally until they're able to fill my old position. I can't wait to start learning my new position! I am up for the challenge and I think the folks in my new department will prove to be great mentors for me.

After messaging some friends, once I realized I really got into the NYC Marathon I went into my supervisor's office and told her with a shaky voice and tears in my eyes. She was ecstatic! She shared with me in my excited disbelief and even had tears in her eyes, too!  I never dreamed I would get in on my first try because I know people that have been trying for 5 years and still didn't get in this time. I have never been this excited about anything before.  I can't even describe exactly how I feel about it because words seem so inadequate.

Financially, I wasn't really ready for it, but with my new promotion and taking on some work with my dad on the weekends I should be able to save for the trip/race without sacrificing other things I'm saving for. My bestie, Taylor, has already committed to join me and Kim will join us if her school schedule allows her to get away. I've booked a hotel in Midtown New York for four nights. Holy crapola, that's the most I've ever paid for a hotel per night. They better have great toilet paper. We want to see a Broadway show and cross the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm sure we'll come up with more to do.  Just envisioning crossing the finish line in NYC has made me cry more than once already.

I am officially in marathon training! Yes, I expect it to take the entire 8 months until the race to properly train. Seriously, I want to be in the best shape of my life on race day. I'm still working out a training schedule, but the good news is that I already have runner friends volunteering to train with me on my long runs to help push me through.

That Thing I Used To Do

Do you remember that thing I used to do? That thing called running? Yeah, after three months of not running or working out at all, I decided to go for a run last week. Of course it was hot, it's summer time in Florida. I only went for a mile and a half and I walked toward the end. It was good to get back out there. Even though I was so sore the next day it was unbelievable. For crying out loud, I went for less than two miles.

Now that I've established I am in no physical condition I've decided to start training... again. I am so out of shape I have trouble thinking of myself as a long distance runner.  I'm starting back at the basics, which I should be used to doing by now. I have to build back up my base mileage. I know the hard work I'm going to have to put in and I know somewhere along the way I'll fall in love with running again.  Historically, I'm not very good at sticking with a training schedule, but I always start with good intentions.

I have registered for a couple of races as motivation to stick with the plan. I have the  Cocoa Beach Half Marathon at the end of October, the Space Coast Half Marathon at the end of November, and a half marathon in Mobile, Alabama at the beginning of January.  Here's to getting back out there and creating a healthy routine so that I don't become a lazy old lady.