My Badass is Ready to Live My Dream!

You guys, this it! This is going to be my last blog before I conquer the NYC Marathon. Race day is eight days away. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whirlwind of emotions that have been washing over me. All of my training comes down to one day, Sunday, November 6th, 2016. There are enough people planning to track me on race day, from co-workers, family, and friends, that it should help encourage me to push through "the wall" when/if I hit it because I know everyone will be watching (tracking) me.  No pressure, right? A part of me loves the attention and another part of me wishes no one knew.

Some things that make me anxious:

• Daylight Savings Time ends the morning of the race, which means time changes at 2AM on November 6th, race day.
• There is a chance of rain on race day. Wet shoes and wet socks are the perfect breeding ground for blisters. Blisters and Marathons are not good friends.
• Aunt Flow could fuck things up.
• The hills and bridges are a bit intimidating.

Some things that make me excited:

• Cooler weather will give me the chance to run my optimal race.
• Frank Sinatra's song 'New York' playing as I cross the start line.
• The energy of the crowd.
• Central Park will be beautiful to run through with the leaves of the trees changing color this time of year.
• Seeing Taylor cheer for me in the Grandstand seats as I near the finish line.
• The sweet taste of victory as I cross the iconic finish line of the TCS NYC Marathon. (I cried as I typed the last sentence.)

On March 8th, when I found out I got into the NYC Marathon, I couldn't run a 5k without struggling. So if you think you could never run a marathon, think again because I'm proof anything is possible with hard work. Since March, I've worked my butt off to prepare for this race. I even overcame some health issues in April and started new medicine in May. Failure is not an option. I'm healthy, I'm strong, and my badass is ready to live my dream!

21 Days Until the Race!

You guys, the race is THREE weeks out!!!  On my long run yesterday with the group I logged 17.5 miles. I felt pretty good for the most part considering blisters are healing and a toenail is barely hanging on. I used the run as a dress rehearsal. I wore what I plan to wear on race day, minus the arm warmers (Um, hello, it's not cold enough to practice with those on a long run). I practiced fueling with the energy gel and Gatorade I plan on using on race day. I did experience some stomach cramps that started around mile 12. I'm not sure if it was the energy gel I ate, the Gatorade I drank, or a combination of things. Afterwards I think it was just because I had to poop because after I relieved my bowels, the cramping went away. At this point, I'm not sure if I should consider trying a different fueling method or just go with it. I made it back to where we started at mile 17.5 for a hydration stop. While I intended to go back out for two to four more miles once I started back up again I felt dizzy and nauseous, so I decided to stop.  It was so bad that I almost went to my grandma's house a block away to have someone pick me up because I wasn't sure if I could drive home. In the end, I chose to give myself a few minutes to hydrate and rest before driving home. When I got home, I ungracefully made my way to bed by holding on to the walls and door frames to balance myself. I slept three hours and woke up feeling better even though I had a killer headache.

I'm not sure if I was dehydrated, experienced some sort of heat stress, or what exactly happened. Even though I'm a little bummed I only ran 17.5 miles, I'm also really excited to have come this far in my marathon training. I went out for 4 miles this morning because I thought running on tired legs is exactly what I need to help me on the back half of 26.2 miles on race day. In two days, I ran 21.5 miles, which is damn close to 26.2 miles. Now, I am officially in taper mode, which means I'm supposed to be taking it easy just to maintain my training. I will still be training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but my last two weekend runs before the race aren't likely to be more than ten miles each.

My running group is absolutely amazing! There are five of us ladies that run together Tuesday and Thursday mornings as well as Saturday mornings. We are like our own little group inside of our much bigger group. We even have a WhatsApp group called Running Divas! These ladies push me to be my best and keep me accountable when necessary. They make the miles fly by and I love running with them. One lady, Wellsy (that's her nickname), and I are going to be dressing up as the Ugly Stepsisters from Cinderella for the Walt Disney World Marathon.  Wellsy, is constantly making us laugh on our runs and always chit chatting mile after mile. The Disney Marathon is going to be so much fun with her!

I finally know my race number and starting time for the TCS NYC Marathon. I will be starting in the last wave at 11AM. Since I'm in the Green corral, I will be running on the bottom level of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. It's not exactly where I wanted to be, but how can I complain? I'm just excited to have the opportunity to run this race!  To track me on race day:

• Download the TCS NYC Marathon app.
• Select "TRACK UP TO 20 RUNNERS"
• Search "69071"
• Click "+" to add me to your list of runners, and then you'll be able to see my splits on race day every 5K, half, and finish.
• I've been told that if you click on the course map it will show my initials with an estimated position of where I am on the course. It uses my previous mile times to predict future mile times and estimated position on the course.

Text me cheers on race day! I have an app that will read me your messages! Although I'll hear your messages, I won't likely be responding until after I finish the race. Don't let my silence stop you from cheering me on. Text me jokes, text me quotes, text me nonsense, text me what you're doing while I run a marathon, and text me compliments.

29 Days Left!!

Where has the time gone? In one month, running the NYC Marathon will be a mere memory. I will have achieved a huge dream of mine by crossing the finish line in Central Park! Even though I'll likely walk funny and be in pain after the race, I cannot wait!!! The pain I feel after I've put forth my best effort is one of the most rewarding feelings and sweetest victories around. After I cross the finish line, I want to be able to say, "I left everything I have out on the course!" I'm hesitant to set a time goal. Perhaps part of me is cowardly because I don't want to set a time goal and disappoint myself. However, I think the real reason it's difficult for me to set a time goal is because I'm not sure I know what a realistic goal would be. Sure, I know which pace group I train with, but there are going to be different factors that I haven't encountered before. The weather will likely be drastically cooler with lower humidity than the weather I've been training in, which will actually increase my overall speed. But then there are the hills and bridges, which might slow me down. The first mile is all up hill on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge and then the course is relatively flat until mile 15. Honestly, I'm a little intimidated about the second half of course being full of bridges and hills. The other factor that comes into play is the crowd. I've been told the crowd can carry a runner through the race. There are going to be millions of people on the sidelines cheering throughout the race. Once we get into Manhattan the crowd in some places are known to be more than ten people deep just lining the course encouraging the runners! The last factor that has me a bit concerned is the fact that I am almost certain Aunt Flow will be accompanying me during the race.  Won't that be fun??? My main goal is to have fun during race. I want to run in the moment and enjoy the dream I worked so hard for! Although a PR would be nice. lol

The race is 29 days away!!! This is it people! I am really going to run the TCS NYC Marathon! I didn't run this week as I was letting blisters heal from my half marathon on Sunday. To make matters worse, my long run this weekend with the group was cancelled because of Hurricane Matthew.  I don't think a week off will set me back since I've stayed on track with training very well for the most part.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get a run in on my own this weekend. It probably wont be 16 miles like my schedule suggests, but anything is better than nothing. Plus, I have my longest training run on my schedule set for October 15th. I'm going to attempt a 20 miler with my group, so I'm not going to beat myself over taking it a little easy leading up to that long run.

I am super excited about the NYC trip!!! I have a lot of expectations and I have no doubt NYC will deliver and exceed them!

Preparing for the Marathon and Winter

I did something I don't think I've ever done before. I ran 100 miles in one month! It is possible I've done it in the past and didn't know it though. I also ran 18.5 miles during one of my long runs, which is my longest training run to date. Surprisingly, I wasn't even sore after running 18.5 miles. Say what? That's right, I must be getting in some kind of shape because after the run I was jumping and doing lunges to test my legs and they performed as if they weren't even fatigued. 

Am I getting excited for New York? HELL YEAH, I AM!!!!!  I think about it everyday. I have two countdowns on my phone: One for when I leave to go to New York (59 days) and one for race day (62 days)! It's practically two months away!!!!  I have a tentative itinerary that Taylor has given me free reign over. She's pretty much just going with the flow. I know her nature to plan, so I appreciate how much trust and faith she has in me to make the itinerary. I also know that whenever we go somewhere and I'm the one driving, I tend to drive and navigate. Whereas whenever we go somewhere and she's the one driving, she drives and I navigate.  I am taking it upon myself to learn the subway lines and bus routes so that I can confidently lead the way. However, I also think getting lost in NYC would make one good story tell. Other than the Race and being in NYC with my bestie, I'm most excited about seeing Wicked on Broadway and walking over the Brooklyn bridge!

I've started preparing for winter in NYC. I'm a typical Florida girl with very limited winter apparel. I recently bought over the knee, suede, black boots. I sprayed water and stain repellent on them to make them water waterproof.   I also purchased a black, thigh length, waterproof jacket. I love it because it's form fitting and looks amazing with my boots! Now, I just need some tops, bottoms and scarves and I think I'll be all set. I'm not buying any winter running apparel for the race. I figured once I actually get to NY, I can decide if I should buy additional running gear (arm sleeves, ear muffs, etc.) at the Expo to keep warm. Even if it's in the 50's, I should be comfortable in shorts and a tank to run in.  I already have throw away sweatpants and sweatshirt that I will use to keep warm at the start of the race and then toss once I get warmed up. All of the runners' discarded items on the side of the road will be donated to charity.

Waking Up Before 4AM

By now I'm sure you know that I run with MarathonFest three times a week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my alarm goes off at 3:45AM. On Saturdays, my alarm goes off anywhere between 3:15AM and 4:15AM depending on how far we're running that weekend and what time my group is starting. I've been averaging about five to six hours of sleep on nights before my runs. Recently, I was asked how I do it. How do I wake up that early three times a week to run?

There are a couple of factors contributing to my success at waking up so gosh darn early. First, I believe that being in good health is a huge factor. I do not feel fatigued every hour of every day like I used to. I actually feel rested even after only five hours of sleep. Believe it or not, I've only been napping after my long runs on Saturday, and the occasional (maybe once every few weeks) cat nap during my lunch break to keep me fresh for the rest of the day.  My increased energy and the fact that I feel amazing makes it relatively easy to wake up.   Second, I think the fact that it's been easy for me to jump right out of bed when my alarm goes off at an ungodly hour has a lot to do with how motivated I am to train my best for the NYC Marathon. I don't know if I've ever been more determined to succeed. Sometimes I even wake up before my alarm... that's how excited I am to get to train for NYC!

Whether or not I will wake up when my alarm goes off has not been a question. The decision was made when I won the lottery drawing to get into the NYC Marathon.  Don't bother asking me if I'm running... the answer is YES!  Not counting my surgery and slight recovery in April, I have only missed two training runs and that was due to period cramps. I got a little behind on my long run distance during the couple of the bad runs I had in the unrelenting Florida heat, but I am officially back on track.

When my alarm goes off, I wake up. I don't hit snooze or lay in bed convincing myself to get up. I don't need to be convinced because I understand that getting out of bed so early to run is a good way to train for the race of my life.  So far, I haven't regretted waking up early to run. It's always fun to tell my co-workers that I ran five miles before work or to tell them how far I ran over the weekend.

Operation Cross-Train

Sure I just ran 14 miles on Saturday without walking funny afterwards, but I want to get in better shape.  I know, you're probably rolling your eyes. Don't get me wrong...it's a beautiful thing to run over a half marathon and not be sore. However, I think I need to add some cross-training into my workout routine. The gym I joined months ago still hasn't opened yet. It's waiting on a final inspection that keeps getting postponed for one reason or another. Yeah, it's annoying. I think it'll be worth the wait when it finally opens though.  

Arms:
I bought a personalized tank-top to wear on race day, so I need to start lifting weights and doing push-ups to tone my bat wings. I want to look fit in my race day photos.

Core:
I just tipped the scale yesterday at 158lbs. I've been eating everything in sight and I'm actually gaining weight. I've gained nearly 20lbs in about four months. Dare I say I'm getting fat?  Anyway, it's time to start working out my food baby.

Legs:
Since the NYC Marathon will have a lot of bridges and hills, I need to start strengthening my legs outside of my running schedule. I'm thinking lunges, squats, and jumping exercises will do the trick.

The race is a little over two months away. Even though my excitement is building, I find myself slightly nervous for the first time. I don't know if I can explain my sudden nerves. Perhaps it's because running it is starting to seem like more than just a dream. It's moving from a strong desire to run the NYC Marathon, to reality. I'm really going to run across that finish line in Central Park! Someone pinch me. I can't believe I'm really doing this.  I know it will likely be the most difficult race I will ever run. For me, the nerves I'm feeling are a good thing because it shows that I hold the race and the course in high esteem.  If your dreams don't scare you, dream bigger! I don't know that I'll expressly admit to being scared, but I certainly wouldn't deny it.

Life is Amazing

Life is absolutely amazing at this moment in time!  I've been feeling better than I have in over a decade! Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. It's been a while since I've posted, so I'll give an update on life.

Work:
I am really enjoying my job! Even though I'm insanely busy, it's giving me plenty of opportunities to learn. Last week, I worked closely with one of our VPs and afterwards he sent an e-mail telling me I did a great job and thanking me for my hard work... oh, and he copied our CEO on that e-mail. I felt appreciated and proud to know I was praised by executive management! I took my first exam for my C.R.I.S. (Construction Risk and Insurance Specialist) certification and scored 98%. Look out world, I'm still smart!  This first course was a prep course to prepare me for the 5 book curriculum to get certified. 5 more exams to go and I'll be C.R.I.S. certified! I recently got a nice bonus. What didn't go to Uncle Sam or my 401K, I'm using for my NYC trip fund. I am also enjoying having a friend at work, my cubical neighbor! She might be signing up for a 5K before the end of the year and I told her I'd run it with her! Our schedules are syncing up. It's nice to have someone to eat chocolate with at the same time of the month.

Running:
When I focus on how much further I have to go, sometimes it seems impossible and I wonder how I ever did this when I didn't feel as well as I have been feeling. When I focus on how far I have come, I feel strong and satisfied with my efforts. It's rough waking up at 3:45am on Tuesdays and Thursdays to run with MarathonFest, but it's worth it because it's cooler in the mornings and they push me to be a better runner. I recently ran a sub nine minute mile! My running group is the best! Runners in general are a good group of people. I've struggled getting through some of the long runs in the heat, but yesterday I ran 12 miles and it actually felt easy. After my run yesterday, I could tell I'm getting stronger.  Do you remember a few weeks back when 12 miles was too difficult, so I stopped after 9 miles? Yeah, well I'm stronger than before!  Heck, last night I was running around outside with Savanna. Obviously, I wasn't sore from running 12 miles which is a beautiful thing.

Me:
I'm doing well! I haven't been having any pain or weird bowel habits. *knock on wood* It's like I'm a normal human being. A few weeks ago I met Taylor in Sarasota for the weekend. I love the friendship that we have! She mentioned she'd like me to make time to write more. I've been making a point to take some time every week to sit down and write, plot, or develop characters. Typically, I don't talk much about my writing because I feel it's personal and I'm not ready to be criticized. Heck, I still keep this blog hidden from most of the people I know.  One day I slipped when my supervisor asked what I did the previous night. She has this way of making me talk. I told her I wrote most of night. Naturally, she asked me questions about what I was writing. First I vaguely said I was attempting to write a novel. She then asked if it was a romance novel. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and clarified that the genre I'm writing about is fantasy. It's about magical creatures.  Now she's been asking me how my novel is going like it's no big deal. I give her as little details as possible, but honestly I think it helps to hold me accountable to keep writing.

One Mile at a Time

Prior to this past Saturday, I was keeping up perfectly with my training schedule... and then Saturday's run happened. I was scheduled to run 12 miles, but I quit after a measly 9 miles. The run started unbelievably hot at 5am. It was 85 degrees at the start and that's without calculating in the humidity and feel like temperature. Unfortunately, the sad reality of training for a marathon during the middle of summer in Florida is that the only chance we have for cooler, bearable temperatures is if it rains. Not only was the weather miserable, but my body was also kind of miserable still recovering from the shitty week of stomach pain. During the run I started to experience some stomach pain around mile 4. I was able to run through the pain for the most part  though. I think what did me in were the cramps in my legs around mile 8.5. I'm not sure if the cramps were from dehydration or what, but my body was pretty much screaming at me to STOP, so I quit! Anyways, I've got plenty of excuses and I feel like a huge wimp and slacker for deciding to throw in the towel at mile 9.

Now, I find myself behind on training. I'm bummed about it because I've been working so hard to stay on track and one run just completely put me off my target mileage. I'm scheduled to run 14 miles this Saturday, but I know realistically that's not going to happen. Technically, my longest run this season has been 10.5 miles, so 14 miles would be too big of  a jump. My new goal for Saturday is to run 12 miles. I seem to be hitting the proverbial wall at mile 9 or 10. I have to dig deep and keep pushing myself in order to reach my goals.

Sometimes I forget that running is hard. Not only that, but it's easy to forget that training for a marathon is difficult, too. Yeah, okay, I should know better; however, I still catch myself thinking that crossing the finish line in November is guaranteed. In distance running, the miles demand respect. With less than four months away from race day, I need to embrace the doubt dancing around in my thoughts (that I've been ignoring) because I need that doubt to motivate me to keep training hard.

I consider myself a very self motivated person. Most of you know that I didn't tell my mom when I entered the NYC Marathon lottery because I didn't think she would approve of my decision to do it and I didn't want to hear her bitch about my bad life choices. Well, when I told her I won the lottery into the race, she left me feeling judged and underestimated. Ever since my DNF (did not finish) at the Disney Marathon in 2013, in her eyes my running ability is tainted because of Crohn's even though I finished the Dopey Challenge strong the following year in 2014. Earlier this week my mom complimented me on how hard I've been training and offered to buy me a Garmin watch to help track my stats. She verbally recognized that this race is a big deal and also offered to buy a picture package if they offer one for professional course race pictures because she knows how much this race means to me. I'm overwhelmed and shocked by her sudden support. In fact, it made me cry. You know, no pressure or anything, but I really don't want to fuck up crossing the finish line.  Strangely enough, I want to make her proud.  Here's to getting back on track one mile at a time.

After 9 Days Without Incident...

After 9 days without incident, I finally pooped today!  What a huge relief! I was beginning to skip meals because the pressure in my stomach was too uncomfortable. Thankfully, with the long weekend I felt confident intentionally over dosing on laxatives because I would be at home in case of an "emergency". Desperate times call for desperate measures.

In other news, I've been having knee pain in my left knee. At first I noticed it after a few runs in the past weeks below my kneecap, but during my Saturday run I felt the pain during and after my run. According to WebMD, it's jumper's knee. That's a little weird considering I've been running, not jumping. However, I did use to experience this back in high school when I played basketball.

This is My Story

The TCS NYC Marathon website has a page for runners to submit their stories.

"Who or what has inspired you to run the TCS New York City Marathon? If you have overcome a challenge or are raising awareness for an organization or cause, please include the details. (500 characters or less)"

I'm thinking about submitting my story, but first I want to get your feedback on what I have so far:

My inspiration to run has come from different places over the years. In the beginning, my dad inspired me to run kid fun runs and 5ks. Not only did I run because I wanted to be like my dad, I also ran because getting matching Turkey Trot t-shirts excited my six year old self.  In first grade, I always ran hard to be at the front of the pack while we ran around the track during P.E.  In high school, I was inspired to run to stay in shape for basketball season. Eventually, after high school, my dad inspired me to run my first marathon in 2008. We got matching t-shirts for the marathon, too!  Because my dad inspired me to become a runner, he also inadvertently inspired me to run the TCS New York City Marathon.

My struggle with Crohn’s disease has also inspired me to run the TCS New York City Marathon. Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory bowel disease. It causes chronic inflammation in my gastrointestinal tract, which can lead to diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, stomach pain, and weight loss among other symptoms.  Crohn’s can be extremely painful and debilitating. Even though there is not a known cure for Crohn’s disease, there are drugs available that can help reduce the symptoms.  

While struggling through symptoms at the beginning of the year, I entered the 2016 TCS New York City Marathon lottery because I needed motivation to start running again. I needed a bucket list race to train for to inspire me to get back on the roads. During the thirteen years I’ve struggled with Crohn’s disease, running has become a symbol of strength and perseverance for me.  There have been days when I was in too much pain or  was too fatigued to get out of the door. There have also been days I ran through the pain and the fatigue to prove to myself that I can still be strong, I can still persevere.  

Since winning the TCS NYC Marathon lottery, I’ve had minor surgery and I’ve started different medication to treat my condition in an attempt to limit my symptoms.  In the months following my surgery and medication change, I have felt better than I’ve felt in a decade. I refuse to let Crohn’s permanently take running away from me. Every time Crohn’s disease knocks me down, I will get back up and fight. I will get back up and run. I will be running the TCS NYC Marathon to prove to myself that Crohn’s disease will not beat me in the long run.

One Run Does Not Define the Season

This morning's run was really difficult. It was already in the 80's when we started at 5:15am. It was super humid and sticky (95% humidity). Sweat was just sitting on my skin and not evaporating to help cool me down. My pace group is 10:30 - 11:30 minutes per mile; however, on long runs they say we're 11:00 - 11:30 minutes per mile and suggest that we should slow down further to adjust to the hot weather. Well, this is MarathonFest and apparently MarathonFest is always in badass beast mode because when they say we should slow down, we don't or we run faster. During my 10 miles this morning, I was wondering why it felt challenging to keep up with my group.  At the end, I found out that we were maintaining a 10:38 per mile pace!  Clearly, that's on the fast end of our pace group. Furthermore, the 10:38 pace includes walk breaks and water stops, so we must have really been booking it when we were actually running. Nonetheless, I survived another "long" run even though I didn't finish as strongly as I would have liked to. One run does not define the season. I'm sure there will be more difficult runs along my journey to the finish line in NYC. After all, the reason I'm training is to make race day easier. If it wasn't for my group, I would have quit at mile six. I should embrace difficult runs and be proud of the fact that I got out there and ran 10 miles today. I'm stronger for it!

Confession

I have a confession: I do not remember the last time I felt this well. This could possibly be the best I've felt in over a decade. I have so much energy that I don't know what to do with it. I've had no pain. My bowels are functioning better than I ever thought was possible. At the doctor on Friday, I weighed in at 151 pounds! I feel like a normal person, strong and healthy.  Is this how you people feel all the time? It's wonderful!

My life is amazing at this moment in time. Training for the NYC Marathon is going spectacularly well! I've found a pace group that challenges me just enough to keep me wondering if I can keep up. Since I managed to stay with them for 10.5 miles on Saturday, I'd say I can keep up even if it is out of my comfort zone at times.  My supervisor put in a request for me to get a raise and my employer is paying for me to become CRIS (Construction Risk and Insurance Specialist) certified. It's a total of 6 classes and I just registered for the first class this week. The class is online and I can work at my own pace.

Crazy Loves Company

I feel like I should warn you in advance. In the next five months, it is extremely likely I will be littering my blog with posts about running as my marathon training kicks into full gear!

I did the Echo Half Marathon on Sunday. I had a 10 mile run planned on my schedule, so I decided I might as well register for a half. I stayed with the 2:30 pacer for the first 9 miles, and averaged an 11:27 pace per mile for those 9 miles.  I slowed down on the 10th mile and after I passed the 10th mile marker, I walked most of the last 5k. My official finish time was 2:46:01.  I can't complain considering I slowed way down on the last 3.1 miles of the race because I wasn't fully trained for the entire half marathon. I'm excited to start MarathonFest this week! They will host group runs on Tuesdays for speed work, Thursdays for hills, and Saturdays for long runs. You might be wondering why I paid for training when I'm already able to do a half marathon before the training begins.  Well, running long runs solo is boring and I tend to doubt myself rather than finish strong. I really want accountability to stay on track and I want to be challenged in ways I wouldn't likely challenge myself. It would also be a bonus if I meet other runners going to NYC.

I'm hopeful to meet new running friends. Plus, I'm excited to challenge myself on group runs by pushing my pace out of my comfort zone. I can't wait for the gym I joined to finally open so that I can get to work on getting in the best shape of my life by November.

On Thursday, I'm going out to lunch with my previous supervisor in Payroll.  We were never into small talk so it should be an interesting outing.  As far as I know she hasn't filled the position I left yet. I really want to ask her questions about FMLA, but I don't know if I'll find the courage to because it might involve talking about Crohn's. I still struggle to discuss Crohn's with people I don't consider friends. It just seems too personal.  We will definitely talk about running. I know she's been running four days a week. I'm going to see if I can talk her into running a 10K. If she bites on the 10K, I'm going to try to convince her to run a half marathon. You know crazy loves company and if she's already running four days a week, she might as well be training for something.

I Did the Unthinkable... I Joined a Gym

So, MarathonFest starts in two weeks. I really want to make their morning runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I would be rushed to make it back home, shower, and leave for work on time. My mom had the idea of joining a gym that's located on my way to work and use their showers instead so that I won't be as rushed to get ready after my runs. First, I was thinking of Planet Fitness because they're cheap. Then, I was talking while walking the mall with my cube neighbor, Ashleigh, on our lunch break and she was telling me about the the Athletic Apex Health Club that will be opening in the mall soon. She's already joined and took me to their info area so that I could learn more about it.  Not only do they have private showers, they also have shampoo, soup, conditioner, and a towel service. They have an aroma therapy room where they host yoga and Pilates. They have another room for Zuma and other class and yet another room for spin classes. They have tons of work out equipment and even an outdoor workout area for their version of crossfit. 

Even though I was just looking for a gym for showers, I ended up convincing myself that I could benefit from cross training for the marathon, so I registered. I decided to pay annually rather than monthly and locked in my lifetime guaranteed rate that averages about $20 per month. There's no contract, so I can cancel anytime I want and they will refund based on the pro rata share of my annual membership status (months used in annual membership).  Athletic Apex is scheduled to open next month. Hopefully it opens in time for my MarathonFest showering needs. If it doesn't, I might just have to rush to get ready until it opens.  I'm excited to start strength training and cross training.  Maybe I'm working toward getting into the best shape of my life for the NYC marathon. Although I've been in some pretty wicked awesome shape in my life, so it'll take a lot of work to get there.  I might even do some classes with Ashleigh before and/or after work.

Rough News and a Shitty Run

My mom had an eye appointment a couple weeks ago and she found out that diabetes has worsened her eyesight. She took the news pretty hard and was a bitch while she digested the news. She didn't really talk about it, but was angry at everyone regardless. It was unsettling to me because no matter what bad news I get about my own health issues, I do not take it out on others. In my opinion, she acted like a child. Well, last week she went to a different eye doctor to get a second opinion. This doctor noticed it was her peripheral vision that was affected and ordered her to get an MRI because sudden loss of peripheral vision can indicate a stroke.  She got the MRI and will get the result this Thursday. In the mean time, she is not allowed to drive. Thankfully, she has taken this news in stride. Although I can't imagine how frustrating it would be not to be able to drive. As much as we butt heads I never wish for anything bad to happen to her. I love her even if our relationship is twisted. We had a family meeting and so far everyone's taking turns driving her around.

I had a really shitty run on Saturday. I was already unmotivated Friday night because the weather report said it was going to be raining Saturday morning. I found the following quote to help motivate me: It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.  I started my eight mile run as soon as the sun came up. Surprisingly, it didn't rain, but the overcast created wicked sticky humidity to run through. After three miles, I took off my shirt and wrung it out because it was drenched in sweat. I need to start working out my abs so that I feel comfortable running in just a sports bra. By mile five, I was ready to quit and that's when "it's hard to beat a person who never gives up" popped into my head as motivation. After six miles, I wanted to cry. Running is hard and it's easy to forget that sometimes. I slowed my pace way down and walked more often than I probably should have, but I somehow managed to log eight miles. Even though it was a shitty run, runs like that will make me stronger and mentally tougher. Hopefully, next time I won't want to quit or cry.  Running is a love/hate relationship.

10 Minute Miles

My NYC Marathon training is going well!  I'm still on track. I'm honestly surprised how well I was able to jump back into my training schedule without missing a beat. Sure, I missed a few runs, but my recovery was so quick that it didn't slow me down too much. It's way easier to run when my ass isn't in pain. I didn't modify my training schedule at all last week. In fact, I'm running faster than I have in years. Today, I finished The Get Your Rear in Gear 5K (3.1 miles) in 31:02, which means I kept exactly a 10 minute per mile pace!!! Go me! There were quite a few Florida hills along the course that slowed me down a little, but I'm still happy with a 10 minute/mile pace. My Fitbit thought I climbed 15 flights of stairs. I finished 5th in my gender's age bracket, 21 - 30 year olds. It felt awesome to finish strong knowing that I wouldn't have been able to run like this a couple months ago. The weather is already hotter than balls and summer is just getting started. The good news is that I know I could run faster in cooler weather. I'm happy it will likely be cold in NYC in November as long as it doesn't snow. Side note: I've never ran in snow before.

I've been feeling great lately! My BM's are beautiful! I'm running off of less sleep. This past week I only averaged 6 hours of sleep per night. My appetite is increasing and I've been hungry a lot. I hope Remicade continues to make me feel strong and healthy.

A Faster Gear

It's been a busy week.

Last Monday, I had dinner with my old friend, Brittany. She's not that old, our friendship dates back to the good ole days of childhood though. It's always great catching up and getting her perspective on this thing called life. Britt, is one of my biggest motivators and supporters and her gentle advice helped to pull me out of my last depression. I love you, Britt!

Last Tuesday, I received my first Remicade infusion, so I worked late throughout the week to make up lost time so that I wouldn't have to use vacation time. After working a few nine hour days last week, I wondered how I survived 12 hour work days when I worked at Mazda. I only managed to get in one four mile run during the week, but I kicked ass and averaged an 11:07 minute per mile pace. That's about the pace I was running before my surgery! Hell yeah!

Friday night, my friend, Veronica, from Texas arrived around 11pm. Normally, I would be fast asleep at that time. Especially, considering I planned to wake up at 6:15am to start my 6 mile run before the sun had a chance to heat things up. I didn't go to bed until around 1am, but I didn't let lack of sleep be an excuse to push back my 6 mile training run. When I started my 6 mile run, I felt my body kick into a faster gear. After two miles, my sister, Kim, joined me on rollerblades to keep me company. I told her I may have went out too fast in the beginning and I might start slowing down, but I was able to maintain that faster gear until mile 5 when I slowed down only to find the faster gear again for mile 6. I ran 6 miles in one hour and five minutes! My average pace was 10:51 minutes per mile.  I didn't take any walk breaks and every other mile I took a quick 10-15 second break to hydrate. It felt amazing! In fact, I'm still on a runner's high from it. How the heck do I get faster the farther I run?

I went to the MarathonFest info session at Track Shack to learn more about the training program. I was able to talk one on one with the program director. I showed her my split times for my six mile run and she told me that would place me in the 4:30-4:45 pace group, which is a 9:45-11:00 minutes per mile. I didn't realize I was that fast. I registered for MarathonFest. It starts the beginning of June and I'm hoping I'll be able to train to finish NYC in less than 5 hours. PR, here I come!

I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with Veronica, her mom, my sisters, and my mom. I made breakfast for everyone on Mother's day, which is a huge feat for me. I wanted to quit, but I managed to finish the pancakes and bacon. We also went to Sak comedy for Mother's Day. It takes a lot out of me to be that social for that lengh of time. It's been fun to visit with them; however, I am in dire need for a long nap.

Next time, I'll blog about work gossip. (this is my reminder)

Another New Chapter Begins

On Tuesday, May 3rd I will get my first Remicade infusion. I've spoken with three different patients or someone related to the patient with Crohn's disease that have taken Remicade, so I pretty much know what to expect. One patient was on Remicade for 5 years, one was on Remicade for 7 years, and one was only on Remicade for 3 weeks.  Clearly, everyone's body takes a different period of time before building antibodies and rejecting the medication.  At the very least, my wish is that Remicade will work for a minimum of eight months so that I can get through the NYC Marathon with very few issues. I'm not nervous, I'm just curious to see what kind of results and/or side effects I'll experience while on Remicade. I also had a great follow-up appointment with my colorectal on Friday. She cleared me to start running again. According to the surgery report I have "significant perianal Crohn's disease..." Usually the scale is moderate to severe, so I'm not sure where "significant" is located on the scale. 

I'm seriously considering joining the running group MarathonFest. In fact, I plan to attend an information session this Saturday to learn more about the program to make sure it will fit my training needs. I've even convinced a running friend to come to the info session with me to see if we will be interested in the same pace group within MarathonFest. If we decide to sign up, group runs start the beginning of June. Since I'm training for the NYC Marathon, the first run on the schedule is a 10 miler. Even though I'm a little intimidated by that, I already had a 10 miler scheduled that same weekend anyway on the schedule I made for myself. I'm going to challenge myself in the month of May to work on maintaining speed as I increase mileage so that I'll be able to get into the pace group I want, 11:30 - 12:45, which would give me between a 5:10 - 5:30 marathon time. I know I can maintain that pace for 4 miles, but I'll have to work hard to be able to maintain that pace for 10 miles. Oh, by the way, if I can maintain that pace on race day, I will PR!!! I think I owe it to myself to get a good support system that will encourage me along this journey. Plus, I'm hoping to meet other local runners that will be going to the NYC Marathon.  At least I have a month to improve my time.

"I Find Myself in Love Racing the Earth"

I have a confession: I'm in love. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop talking about it. I can't get this cheesy grin off my face. Running has captivated me all over again! It's not easy, but I don't mind working hard and pushing the wall that I've currently been facing after mile three. I can't wait to push that sucker to mile 23 and beyond. Heck, I started incorporating speed work into my training plan for fun! Soon I'll be adding hill repeats because that's really the best breakfast this side of the Mississippi.

I've been noticing the little things during my runs. The lone yellow flower at the top of the bush by a mailbox. The smell of fresh laundry. My shadow doing its best to keep up. Outside of my speed workouts, I haven't been focusing on speed. Rather, I've been focusing on going as slow as it takes to eliminate the desire for intervals.  In fact, I ran four miles on Sunday without intervals. Surprisingly, even though I've missed a couple weeks of training, I'm still on track for my scheduled four mile run this weekend. Obviously, it would be easier if I hadn't missed any runs, but I'm so happy I'm not behind schedule.

This Friday is half-day Friday at work. After my Doctor's appointment, I'm heading down South to visit Taylor. I have two runs planned while I'm down there. Saturday morning, I'm meeting one or two ladies with the South Florida Team Challenge chapter at Hollywood Beach for a run/walk on the beach.  I met them when I ran the Napa to Sonoma half marathon with Team Challenge in 2013 (Geez has it really been that long ago?).  They're super awesome and I hope to pick their brains about Remicade. Sunday morning, Taylor will be taking me to a park around the area to get in more miles.  Hopefully, these runs will help me to keep up with my training schedule in future weeks as the miles start to increase.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever let running slip away. I feel alive when I run. This time around I just need this relationship to last until November 6th.

Stressed Out and Unable to Run

I was doing some research and I found an article on Healthline that stated, "...abscesses occur in about one-fourth of people with Crohn's disease. Abscesses often need to be drained, or surgery may sometimes be suggested." Usually, I avoid doing research like this because the results stress me out. I find myself to be in the one quarter of patients with Crohn's disease that has had an abscess occur. Those aren't good odds.  It feels like I definitely drew the short end of the stick. 

According to CCFA "...up to 75% of people with Crohn's disease will eventually require surgery." I know surgery is a real possibility, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm in denial about that possibility. It freaks me out that an abscess may lead to needing surgery.


I haven't ran since my awesome three mile run last Saturday. The pain from the abscess has had me sidelined.  I know this won't likely be my only roadblock on my journey to the NYC Marathon finish line, so I'm taking it in stride. I listened to my body earlier this week and rested rather than pushing through the pain and going for a run. I'm listening to my Doctors so that I can get better as soon as possible. My motivation is still through the roof! Mentally, I'm feeling stronger than ever, so the abscess and antibiotics are not getting me down. Surprisingly, I feel postitive and I'm determined to get back on track once I feel better.