Isn't it incredible what our bodies and minds can be trained to do? I am extremely fortunate how easy it is for my body to get back into shape when I'm feeling well. It's almost not fair to others. How many people can go from not being able to run one mile straight to being able to run three miles straight in 33 minutes in just three weeks? If you've been a beginner runner before, you know that's not something just anyone can do. I trained for a 5k in three weeks and that seems insanely awesome!!! A typical couch to 5k training program is 8-10 weeks long. Running feels right and I'm thrilled with how well training is going so far. It's been wonderful to hit the roads and trails even if it's already getting hot. My body is building strength and endurance every week!
I'm not really sure what the purpose is of the following paragraph, but it's just a glimpse of what goes on inside my head. Read at your own risk and feel free to judge me silently.
When I was going to counseling (oh by the way, I stopped) one of the things I told my counselor was that I feel like without my chronic illness I would be superhuman. The disease brings me down to even the playing field with regular, healthy folks. Now, I know this might make me sound like an arrogant asshole. I also know it's not ideal to believe that this disease gives me limitations in life. However, the fact is that chronic illness is a constant battle. I am a fighter and I would be lying if I said I am unaffected by it. In moments of wellness, it feels like I am superhuman. By saying it "evens the playing field," I mean that I can do anything any regular, healthy person can do; however, if I wasn't sick, I think my potential would have a higher capacity for awesomeness. I don't like to use Crohn's as a crutch or an excuse. If you know me, you know eventually I will persevere through my struggles. When I'm not depressed, I think I'm pretty damn awesome!
