Healthy and Loving It!

It has been great to feel as healthy as most of the people around me. I'm not struggling to keep up. I'm not faking the smile on my face and I'm not pretending to feel well. When I'm not feeling well, I dread making plans because it's difficult to predict how I'll be feeling at a certain moment in time. Will I be in pain? Will I need a bathroom? Will I have the energy it takes? I didn't even ask myself those questions when I made plans like a boss this weekend.

After work on Friday I went to the Maroon 5 concert. Tove Lo opened the show and she was incredible. Seriously, check out her music.  I thought her take on love was interesting. In one song she proclaims "I'm not on drugs / I'm not on drugs / I'm just in love" and in another song she explains "You're gone and I gotta stay / High all the time / To keep you off my mind". So, basically love is a drug and I've never taken a hit. I'm as clean and as sober as can be.  I love Maroon 5, but honestly I only know Maroon 5 as Adam Levine. I love when he hits the high notes! They put on an amazing show and it was fun hanging out with Kim! Kim and I left a little early from the show because I had a long Saturday ahead of me. We left around 10:45PM and by the time I got home and laid out my running stuff for the morning, it was around 11:30PM by the time I went to bed.

Surprisingly, I woke up without hesitation when my alarm went off at 4:05AM so that I could meet my running group at 5:30AM. My legs were so stiff and sore from cross-training this week that I wasn't sure if I could even run. My quads were super tight, but I still got ready and left to meet some of my running group in Apopka for the hills option this week.  I need all the hill training I can get. The hills and bridges in the NYC Marathon make me the most nervous about the race. My plan was 10 miles but I stopped after 7 miles and I'm okay with that. The biggest accomplishment was getting out of bed and out the door to run at all, so I won't beat myself over a few missed miles. I can tell I'm getting stronger because I no longer get the urge to stop and walk up a hill. I've learned to pump my arms harder to pull myself up the hill as well as shortening my stride for more efficiency. Eventually, I did loosen up a little on the run, but I got tight again after I was done.

Once I got home, took a shower, and found my Gator gear, it was time to get ready to head to the Gator football game. That's right, I was running off of about 4 and a half hours of sleep and I didn't take a nap! My friend Miguel (my friend Brittany's husband) invited me to go to the Gator game. He got tickets through the Wounded Warrior Project.  The car ride to the game passed quickly as he told all about a video game he's been playing and trying to get into the top 500 players. We arrived to the tailgate area for the Wounded Warrior Project at noon. They provided a tent with chairs, food, drinks, and a TV to watch the Michigan UCF game (poor UCF). It was great to meet other warriors. One little boy came up to me and poked me with the foam finger he had, so I smiled and played with him. Suddenly, he dropped the finger and kissed me on my check! His dad yelled, "Son, you can't just go around kissing women!" LOL After they passed out our tickets, Miguel and I went shopping. We went to the bookstore on campus, but he didn't see anything in there. Next, we walked around to find the store he got a shirt at last time we went. Somehow we found it! While we were waiting to cross a street a very intoxicated young lady walked up, put her hand on my shoulder and said "Come on, let's just fucking go." Thankfully, by the time she started walking it was actually safe to walk and she stumbled her way across the street. I just wondered where her friends were. Friends shouldn't let friends walk around intoxicated, by themselves. We even heard some Gator fans say "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty" because Kentucky's mascot is the Wildcat. Haha Once we were in the stadium and found our seats, the weather report at the stadium said it was 97 degrees! I'm glad they handed out fans to use to help keep cool. Throughout the game we saw the medics in our section three different times with a stretcher. From what I saw it was older folks likely suffering from heat exhaustion.  The Gators came out strong! Now, it could have been because Kentucky sucks, but I thought Luke Del Rio, our new quarterback, made solid plays. I'm excited to watch him this season because I like it when quarterbacks actually throw the ball long and take more risks. We kicked butt! I think the final score was 45 to 7! I had fun with Miguel. It was such an awesome game to watch!

By the time I got home and told my dad all about the game (my mom said he watched every minute of the game on TV to see if he would see me in the stands even tough I told him we were sitting pretty high up.), I was finally able to go to bed. It was a fun 24+ hours and I felt great, but I was super tired! Awesome weekend with awesome people!!!

"Been in Pain Like Me" - Halsey

The last few weeks have been the worst I've felt health wise since starting Remicade. First constipation, and then stomach pain. Wednesday was the most wicked stomach pain I've had in recent memory. It was on and off throughout the day. I felt the pain hit me and then briefly subside only to return with what seemed like a stronger punch to the gut.  At times, I had to remind myself to breathe. I know Kim could tell I was in discomfort at the Halsey concert, but I tried not to let it ruin the experience. It was kind of appropriate, really, being able to scream the lyrics with Halsey. Those same lyrics that helped me through other hard days like Wednesday.  Halsey opened the show with her song 'Gasoline', so the first two lines couldn't have been more fitting: "Are you insane like me / Been in pain like me".

I'm definitely not a tough critic. I thought Halsey put on one hell of a great show, but it wasn't just her that made the show awesome. The arena was nearly sold out. The fans knew every fucking word to every fucking song. We, the fans, energized the arena by singing along with Halsey loud and proud. I've been to quite a few concerts, so believe me when I say that I've never felt the power of an audience like this before. I loved it when Halsey let the audience take the lead to a chorus while she took it all in with a smile and proceeded to sing back up vocals to us. She lived up to her badass image. She threw the word "fuck" in whenever she felt like it, which made the crowd scream in approval. She also used her powerful voice to create new and exciting riffs. After one song, she got a little choked up on raw emotion as she admitted that she had never played to a crowd this big before. She's a relatively new artist, but she didn't let any inexperience show. She owned the stage!  It was a great escape from reality.

"These are the Badlands"

I'm totally pumped to see Halsey tomorrow night at the CFE Arena!  Kim got me tickets for my birthday and I'm pretty excited about seeing her live. I clung to her Badlands album late last year into early this year as I was battling my own "badlands" during some shitty months of depression and Crohn's disease.  Strangely enough I first liked her music because I related to her lyrics. I felt understood.

Waking up facing the same disease day in and day out allowed me to relate to the line in 'Gasoline' by Halsey that says, "You can't wake up, this is not a dream". I couldn't just snap out of it and get back to the reality I so desperately desired.  The pain and lack of happiness had me living the line in 'Hold Me Down' by Halsey that says, "They [demons] fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce". It seemed unrelenting. If I could have controlled it, I would have. Honestly, I felt helpless. All I could do was hold on while it took its toll on me. I found a much needed sense of hope in the line "I'm meaner than my demons" in the song 'Control' by Halsey. At times, Crohn's disease and/or depression made me feel isolated and I related to the lines in Halsey's song 'Empty Gold' that says, "I, I must confess / How hard I tried to breathe / Through the trees of loneliness". Right about the time I was overcoming depression, I started to catch myself thinking who am I without that weight? I don't know who I'm supposed to be. The line in Halsey's song 'Haunting' explains my crazy feelings well: "I'm begging you to keep haunting me" because I wasn't sure who I was without it. There's no doubt I lost a bit of myself during that period in my life. It was difficult to find the person I was prior to that struggle, but I think I have found myself again.

Now, I like Halsey's music because I appreciate the depth of her lyrics. Not only can she hit the notes (how would I know? I'm tone deaf), but she is very artistic in her delivery, sound, and beat.  I like that she doesn't shy away from dark feelings. Life isn't all sunshine and roses and I can appreciate anyone willing to verbalize that.

"These are the Badlands": https://youtu.be/DWCOW7TaGQE

One of My Favorites - Shania Twain

When people ask me who my favorite musical artist is, I usually tell them Taylor Swift. However, if you know me well, you know my real favorite is Shania Twain. She's been my favorite since I heard her songs off The Woman In Me album when I was seven years old. By the time her Come On Over album came out when I was nine, I was obsessed with her music. Of course, I loved her Up album that came out in 2002, which I think was totally more pop than country. It is amazing!

I can't pin-point what drew me to like her music in the first place. Most of her songs are about love or heartache, and I certainly don't have any personal experience to relate to the songs; however, I can lose myself in her music. Her songs take me back in time and remind me of my childhood. A life before Crohn's. A life before responsibility. Somehow it allows me see how much I've grown up. Sure, my parents only allowed me to listen to country and Christian music while growing up. Perhaps Shania's music seemed a little rebellious compared to what I was used to hearing and I've always been a rebel at heart.  I would jump for hours, by myself and sometimes with my sisters and friend Brittany, on the trampoline in the backyard while playing Shania's cassette tapes in my pink stereo. I listened to the cassettes so often that I could fast forward a song perfectly to play the next song at the beginning... My pink stereo didn't have a skip button.

I was obsessed! I was 10 or 11 years old in this picture.

The first concert I ever went to was Shania Twain's Come On Over Tour on September 19th, 1998. I remember getting to the box office early to buy tickets with my mom. At ten years old, her concert was bigger than life! I guarantee that I sang along with every word.  Flash forward to 2013, I spent more than I should have to fly out to Las Vegas to enjoy her You're Still The One show in a third row seat at Caesars Palace. I had high expectations and she blew it right out of the water. The show was unbelievably captivating. It was such fun to re-live her hit songs live, the very songs that I grew up with. I read her autobiography and to know what she has been through in her life, she is a light of inspiration. Her courage is something I admire.

This morning I purchased tickets during the presale for Shania Twain's Rock This Country Tour in Jacksonville on Wednesday, July 15th, 2015. She's claiming this will be her farewell tour and I didn't want to miss one last opportunity to see her preform live! I'm super excited!!!!

Watch her video that inspired my leopard print photo above: http://youtu.be/mqFLXayD6e8

I Survived The First Week

I know it's a big shock that I survived my first week of classes for the fall semester. This semester I'm taking Portfolio Analysis, Real Estate Property Appraisal, and Supply Chain Management. I can already tell I'm going to enjoy my two senior level electives: Portfolio Analysis and Property Appraisal. I can also already tell that I'm going to dislike the core, junior level, required College of Business course Supply Chain Management.

These three classes wasted no time in keeping me busy. I've already taken a quiz in each class. I was so busy that I momentarily forgot about my runny nose and lingering cough. I always like to set a new routine at the beginning of each semester, so this week I began running on campus. I hope to keep that up on Mondays and Wednesdays after I get out of class.


 I took advantage of a free Karmin concert UCF had for all students and went with Kim. We've been Karminites since they became a YouTube sensation with their cover of Look At Me Now three years ago. Amy and Nick's stage presence was impressive! They both graduated from Berklee College of Music. They put on a super entertaining and fun show. A little bit pop, a little bit hip-hop, and quite a bit of rap... stylistically wide ranging and truly talented!  Oh yeah, and we enjoyed it right from the front row!!!  It was first come, first seated, so Kim started waiting in line to get in after she got out of class at 4:20pm and was one of the first people in line. I met her there after I got off work.  























Let the countdown begin: 15 weeks left in the fall 2014 semester! Christmas break, here I come!