I first started listening to Halsey on YouTube in the fall of 2015. By coincidence, her debut album, Badlands, was released around that same time. I was in a really dark place fighting depression and Crohn's disease and I found comfort in this concept album that was about people being trapped in a post apocalyptic society surrounded by desert land that keeps them there...knowing they should desperately try to escape, yet finding a weird sense of comfort there. Halsey created this world around the Badlands, which I used as a metaphor for my life. I've never felt more connected to music, nor have I felt so understood by music before.
This Friday, Halsey's new album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom comes out!!! In true Halsey fashion, this is also a concept album. She describes Hopeless Fountain Kingdom as a purgatory kind of like LOST. You know, my favorite TV show of all time! In the Rolling Stone Music Now podcast featuring Halsey, the Badlands are described as being the mortal realm above the Hopeless Fountain Kingdom. While I've listened to the songs that have been released from the album (I'll post links below), I am most excited to be able to listen to all of the songs on Hopeless Fountain Kingdom in order so that I can piece together the concept and interpret the story being told for myself. I've already got tickets for her HFK Tour and I can't wait to see her bring the Hopeless Fountain Kingdom to life! If you're looking for me, I'll be getting lost in the Hopeless Fountain Kingdom.
There are definitely Romeo and Juliet vibes in her "Now or Never" music video: https://youtu.be/kzQTc0-iBX8
No doubt she can sing in the stripped version of "Eyes Closed": https://youtu.be/joN23n_e5hk
"To be touched / To be loved / To feel anything at all" - Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui "Strangers": https://youtu.be/e3hjpNuvapQ
Showing posts with label Halsey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halsey. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
The Best of 2016
I know there's a lot of hate going around the internet towards 2016. However, 2016 was a phenomenal year for me for the most part!
- I was promoted at work.
- I entered and won a lottery entry into the NYC Marathon on my first try.
- I made new friends at work.
- I started new medicine (Remicade).
- I felt the best I've felt in over a decade! I got my life back!
- I had awesome bowel movements.
- I joined a running group.
- I made great running friends.
- I trained for a marathon and regularly woke up at 4am or earlier three days a week to run.
- I joined a gym.
- I saw Halsey live in concert.
- My best friend got engaged!
- I said yes to be my best friend's Maid of Honor!
- I socialized and stepped outside of my comfort zone.
- I went to NYC on vacation with my best friend!
- I ran the NYC Marathon!
- I ran an awesome half at OUC!
- I ran my first relay and my first trail run at Ragnar!
- I camped for real!
- My sister graduated from UCF!
- I got an electric keyboard to learn how to play.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
"Been in Pain Like Me" - Halsey
The last few weeks have been the worst I've felt health wise since starting Remicade. First constipation, and then stomach pain. Wednesday was the most wicked stomach pain I've had in recent memory. It was on and off throughout the day. I felt the pain hit me and then briefly subside only to return with what seemed like a stronger punch to the gut. At times, I had to remind myself to breathe. I know Kim could tell I was in discomfort at the Halsey concert, but I tried not to let it ruin the experience. It was kind of appropriate, really, being able to scream the lyrics with Halsey. Those same lyrics that helped me through other hard days like Wednesday. Halsey opened the show with her song 'Gasoline', so the first two lines couldn't have been more fitting: "Are you insane like me / Been in pain like me".
I'm definitely not a tough critic. I thought Halsey put on one hell of a great show, but it wasn't just her that made the show awesome. The arena was nearly sold out. The fans knew every fucking word to every fucking song. We, the fans, energized the arena by singing along with Halsey loud and proud. I've been to quite a few concerts, so believe me when I say that I've never felt the power of an audience like this before. I loved it when Halsey let the audience take the lead to a chorus while she took it all in with a smile and proceeded to sing back up vocals to us. She lived up to her badass image. She threw the word "fuck" in whenever she felt like it, which made the crowd scream in approval. She also used her powerful voice to create new and exciting riffs. After one song, she got a little choked up on raw emotion as she admitted that she had never played to a crowd this big before. She's a relatively new artist, but she didn't let any inexperience show. She owned the stage! It was a great escape from reality.
I'm definitely not a tough critic. I thought Halsey put on one hell of a great show, but it wasn't just her that made the show awesome. The arena was nearly sold out. The fans knew every fucking word to every fucking song. We, the fans, energized the arena by singing along with Halsey loud and proud. I've been to quite a few concerts, so believe me when I say that I've never felt the power of an audience like this before. I loved it when Halsey let the audience take the lead to a chorus while she took it all in with a smile and proceeded to sing back up vocals to us. She lived up to her badass image. She threw the word "fuck" in whenever she felt like it, which made the crowd scream in approval. She also used her powerful voice to create new and exciting riffs. After one song, she got a little choked up on raw emotion as she admitted that she had never played to a crowd this big before. She's a relatively new artist, but she didn't let any inexperience show. She owned the stage! It was a great escape from reality.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
"These are the Badlands"
I'm totally pumped to see Halsey tomorrow night at the CFE Arena! Kim got me tickets for my birthday and I'm pretty excited about seeing her live. I clung to her Badlands album late last year into early this year as I was battling my own "badlands" during some shitty months of depression and Crohn's disease. Strangely enough I first liked her music because I related to her lyrics. I felt understood.
Waking up facing the same disease day in and day out allowed me to relate to the line in 'Gasoline' by Halsey that says, "You can't wake up, this is not a dream". I couldn't just snap out of it and get back to the reality I so desperately desired. The pain and lack of happiness had me living the line in 'Hold Me Down' by Halsey that says, "They [demons] fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce". It seemed unrelenting. If I could have controlled it, I would have. Honestly, I felt helpless. All I could do was hold on while it took its toll on me. I found a much needed sense of hope in the line "I'm meaner than my demons" in the song 'Control' by Halsey. At times, Crohn's disease and/or depression made me feel isolated and I related to the lines in Halsey's song 'Empty Gold' that says, "I, I must confess / How hard I tried to breathe / Through the trees of loneliness". Right about the time I was overcoming depression, I started to catch myself thinking who am I without that weight? I don't know who I'm supposed to be. The line in Halsey's song 'Haunting' explains my crazy feelings well: "I'm begging you to keep haunting me" because I wasn't sure who I was without it. There's no doubt I lost a bit of myself during that period in my life. It was difficult to find the person I was prior to that struggle, but I think I have found myself again.
Now, I like Halsey's music because I appreciate the depth of her lyrics. Not only can she hit the notes (how would I know? I'm tone deaf), but she is very artistic in her delivery, sound, and beat. I like that she doesn't shy away from dark feelings. Life isn't all sunshine and roses and I can appreciate anyone willing to verbalize that.
"These are the Badlands": https://youtu.be/DWCOW7TaGQE
Waking up facing the same disease day in and day out allowed me to relate to the line in 'Gasoline' by Halsey that says, "You can't wake up, this is not a dream". I couldn't just snap out of it and get back to the reality I so desperately desired. The pain and lack of happiness had me living the line in 'Hold Me Down' by Halsey that says, "They [demons] fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce". It seemed unrelenting. If I could have controlled it, I would have. Honestly, I felt helpless. All I could do was hold on while it took its toll on me. I found a much needed sense of hope in the line "I'm meaner than my demons" in the song 'Control' by Halsey. At times, Crohn's disease and/or depression made me feel isolated and I related to the lines in Halsey's song 'Empty Gold' that says, "I, I must confess / How hard I tried to breathe / Through the trees of loneliness". Right about the time I was overcoming depression, I started to catch myself thinking who am I without that weight? I don't know who I'm supposed to be. The line in Halsey's song 'Haunting' explains my crazy feelings well: "I'm begging you to keep haunting me" because I wasn't sure who I was without it. There's no doubt I lost a bit of myself during that period in my life. It was difficult to find the person I was prior to that struggle, but I think I have found myself again.
Now, I like Halsey's music because I appreciate the depth of her lyrics. Not only can she hit the notes (how would I know? I'm tone deaf), but she is very artistic in her delivery, sound, and beat. I like that she doesn't shy away from dark feelings. Life isn't all sunshine and roses and I can appreciate anyone willing to verbalize that.
"These are the Badlands": https://youtu.be/DWCOW7TaGQE
Friday, April 15, 2016
An Update
It hasn't even been a week and I'm already getting antsy. I'm restless mostly because the New York City Marathon is on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled I'll be back pounding my feet against the pavement sooner than originally planned. However, it's still frustrating to wait it out because my hopes are high. I've been on Pinterest looking at a bunch of workout motivation. It inspired me to incorporate some cross training in with my marathon training once I start training again. I'm excited to feel my body get stronger and my mentality get tougher throughout the next few months.
I went to see my gastro yesterday to talk about medication options. It's a little scary knowing that there aren't a lot of effective treatment options available. The two options my doc recommended were to add 6MP to my treatment while continuing with Cimzia or stopping Cimzia and switching to Remicade.
I was on 6MP for years after I was first diagnosed with Crohn's. Now, looking back I wonder if my parents even knew what 6MP is. I certainly didn't know or care at the time. It's actually a chemo therapy drug. Anti-cancer drugs are pretty common in Crohn's treatment, but I think it's a little harsh. It's really bad for the liver and frequent lab tests need to be done to monitor its affect on the kidneys and liver. There is also a higher risk of lymphoma when taking Cimzia with 6MP than other options. Isn't that ironic? My first treatment strategy was to exhaust all of my options with Cimzia before stopping it. Once you stop a biologic like Cimzia, you can't go back on it because your body will build antibodies against it and reject it. I just don't think it makes sense to keep moving forward with Cimzia because it hasn't been very effective for a while now. Most of the medication options are frightening, but 6MP is a little scarier than other options in my opinion.
That leaves me with Remicade, which is an infusion I can't administer myself. I'm told this is a more potent treatment for Crohn's and most patients see better results with it than with Cimzia. Remicade is a TNF blocker like Cimzia with similar risks. It's way more expensive than Cimzia, so I'm in the process of figuring out if my insurance will cover it before I can make the switch. Thankfully, I have a nurse advocate helping me figure it all out. I'm surprisingly excited at the possibility of bidding Cimzia farewell.
In other news, Ticketmaster finally released my tickets to Halsey on July 6th at the CFE Arena! I'm super stoked about that.
I went to see my gastro yesterday to talk about medication options. It's a little scary knowing that there aren't a lot of effective treatment options available. The two options my doc recommended were to add 6MP to my treatment while continuing with Cimzia or stopping Cimzia and switching to Remicade.
I was on 6MP for years after I was first diagnosed with Crohn's. Now, looking back I wonder if my parents even knew what 6MP is. I certainly didn't know or care at the time. It's actually a chemo therapy drug. Anti-cancer drugs are pretty common in Crohn's treatment, but I think it's a little harsh. It's really bad for the liver and frequent lab tests need to be done to monitor its affect on the kidneys and liver. There is also a higher risk of lymphoma when taking Cimzia with 6MP than other options. Isn't that ironic? My first treatment strategy was to exhaust all of my options with Cimzia before stopping it. Once you stop a biologic like Cimzia, you can't go back on it because your body will build antibodies against it and reject it. I just don't think it makes sense to keep moving forward with Cimzia because it hasn't been very effective for a while now. Most of the medication options are frightening, but 6MP is a little scarier than other options in my opinion.
That leaves me with Remicade, which is an infusion I can't administer myself. I'm told this is a more potent treatment for Crohn's and most patients see better results with it than with Cimzia. Remicade is a TNF blocker like Cimzia with similar risks. It's way more expensive than Cimzia, so I'm in the process of figuring out if my insurance will cover it before I can make the switch. Thankfully, I have a nurse advocate helping me figure it all out. I'm surprisingly excited at the possibility of bidding Cimzia farewell.
In other news, Ticketmaster finally released my tickets to Halsey on July 6th at the CFE Arena! I'm super stoked about that.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
It's My Birthday... Almost
My birthday celebration is already well underway. To those of you that have already sent me a birthday card, thank you for making me feel special for my birthday! I feel like you must really be on top of your game in life! Keep being awesome!
My friend, Veronica, sent me a blanket she crocheted herself because she knows how cold I always am! It's thick and wonderful and will keep me warm for years to come. I am in awe that she hand made it. It makes feel super special.
My birthday weekend will be non-stop celebrating with friends, family, and co-workers. I'm thankful to think that I'll have enough energy to keep up with all the plans and really enjoy everyone's company. Today my sister, Kim, mentioned that she's going to give me tickets for my birthday. Now, I've been giving really obvious hints that I would love to see Justin Bieber in concert. What can I say? I'm not a hater. So, I asked if she decided to go to the Bieber concert even though I know she loathes him. That's when Kelly opened her big mouth and said that whatever tickets Kim got me she was certain that I would think they are way better than Justin tickets. My mind drew a blank because I couldn't think of anything better. That's when Kim prompted me with a question:
Who's CD have you been playing in your car nonstop since October?
HALSEY!!!! She's going to be at the CFE Arena in July and Kim will be taking me! I must not be a very good fan since I didn't even know she was on tour. I consider myself a huge fan though. Seriously, I've obsessed with her music so much that I have not been keeping up with other music at all. When I heard her song "Castle" in the trailer for Huntsman, I freaked out in the theater as I whispered to Kim, "OMG, Halsey's song is in a movie trailer." I can't wait to see her perform live
My friend, Veronica, sent me a blanket she crocheted herself because she knows how cold I always am! It's thick and wonderful and will keep me warm for years to come. I am in awe that she hand made it. It makes feel super special.
My birthday weekend will be non-stop celebrating with friends, family, and co-workers. I'm thankful to think that I'll have enough energy to keep up with all the plans and really enjoy everyone's company. Today my sister, Kim, mentioned that she's going to give me tickets for my birthday. Now, I've been giving really obvious hints that I would love to see Justin Bieber in concert. What can I say? I'm not a hater. So, I asked if she decided to go to the Bieber concert even though I know she loathes him. That's when Kelly opened her big mouth and said that whatever tickets Kim got me she was certain that I would think they are way better than Justin tickets. My mind drew a blank because I couldn't think of anything better. That's when Kim prompted me with a question:
Who's CD have you been playing in your car nonstop since October?
HALSEY!!!! She's going to be at the CFE Arena in July and Kim will be taking me! I must not be a very good fan since I didn't even know she was on tour. I consider myself a huge fan though. Seriously, I've obsessed with her music so much that I have not been keeping up with other music at all. When I heard her song "Castle" in the trailer for Huntsman, I freaked out in the theater as I whispered to Kim, "OMG, Halsey's song is in a movie trailer." I can't wait to see her perform live
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