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Friday, September 26, 2014

One Painful Day After Another

I woke up in a lot of pain and discomfort. It hurt to move. This morning I called my general physician's office to ask who I should see about my swollen and sore bottom. Naturally, the physician wasn't in today, but his nurse was and she recommended going to the OBGYN. I discussed this with my mom and we both had a gut feeling that wasn't the right answer, so I called my gastroenterologist's office to see what they thought. Naturally, my gastro wasn't in today either, but there was a nurse practitioner at the gastro office with an opening at 9:45am. So, I went to see him, Mike Jolly.

I don't care one way or the other about whether I have male or female doctors/nurses looking at me.  I anticipated going into the appointment that I'd have to have a rectal exam done. I should be used to those by now, right? Nope, not really. His huge finger entered my strictured rectum and he said, "I believe you have a fistula."

He explained it more once I got dressed and he came back into the room. The news: I have an anal abscess, which is an infected cavity filled with pus found near the anus or rectum. Holy fucking shit, that explains why I'm experiencing so much pain. Just by feeling around my rectum with his finger he believes a fistula is forming because of the abscess. Also a huge contributor to the PAIN!  He ordered the nurse to schedule an urgent appointment with my colorectal specialist/surgeon because be thinks I need surgery. I go to see the colorectal specialist on Tuesday... the same day as my Real Estate Appraisal mid-term, so we'll see how that goes.  Jolly also prescribed two antibiotics, both with horrible side effects. However, at this point, I'll gladly take them over what I'm experiencing currently. And, he prescribed a high potent probiotic, which seems promising and insurance actually covered it.
 
I owe a big thank you to my mom. She has been amazing. Taking care of me and going above and beyond what I deserve. I cried hard today. I'm disappointed in my body. I'm trying to fight my tendency to slip into depression during rough health patches. Not sure if it's working. I don't want this body, but I want this life. So, I chug along.  I'm grateful for the people praying for me.  I'm still miserable. I'm scared about what news Tuesday will bring. I'm afraid of needing surgery. I'm afraid my body is starting to reject Cimza.