My Novel Idea...Shhh

As you may know I hope to write a book one day. I've been working with this one idea for a while and for the sake of my future New York Times bestseller's content not getting stolen let's call it Betty.  I've got the main idea, but I've had writers block for months with lack of continued development to the point where I almost deleted it and said the heck with it. The only thing worse than constipation is mental constipation. Finally, after a new prompt from The Secret Storytelling Society, my new writing group on Facebook, acted as a writing laxative, I have made a major development in Betty. Betty has broke the waterline if you know what I mean!  I'm super excited and feel like this could be the huge creative break I've been waiting for! Betty is alive and well with her characters, setting, theme, plot, and conflict under construction I've got a decent blueprint to work with now. I'll probably be working on Betty for years to come and that's okay. After all, I haven't even finished my first draft yet. Trust me when it's finished, it will be epic! Betty is like my secret baby. It'll take a lot of time, love, and hard work to raise her.

The Undiagnosed Situation

It's pretty obvious when you meet my dad's older brother Don that he has physical and mental limitations. He has lived with his parents for his entire sixty years of life and I believe they have covered up a lot of his shortcomings. Whether it be by helping him bathe and get dressed, or making excuses and denying his lack of ability. For the most part, everyone in my family just ignored it and didn't say or question anything about it.  Don did attend a special education school growing up, but other than that I've only recently heard my family talk about him having an "issue".    It sounds shallow, but for my whole life I've avoided conversations with him. He's really difficult to understand and I find two-way communication with him to be hard.  Since I've been spending more time with grandma, which means more time with Don, I've observed him like I never have before. I don't know that things with him have always been this bad, but I'm definitely aware of it more now.

Three months ago Uncle Don's dad (my grandpa ace) passed away and a short time before that Don got laid-off of work because he could no longer perform the functions of the job. He lost his health benefits when he lost his job and due to recent developments, he needs health insurance NOW.  The traumatic events of him losing his job and father have taken an unquestionable toll on his already questionable health. Especially, mentally. Grandma is even starting to speak up about it. Don believes he sees his dad and tells grandma on a regular basis what his dad said last night. Grandma has tried to explain death to him and that he's just dreaming, but he doesn't fully understand that grandpa ace isn't here on this Earth anymore. It's heartbreaking and it's extremely hard on my grandma. Over the past three months, Don's speech has become even harder to understand, his anger has increased, his intellectual understanding is more limited, and he is often confused. Lately, I don't think he knows what's real and what's not. He has started moving his lips without any words coming out while moving his hands in sharp motions before touching his face oddly during dinner while everyone else is in conversation.

Sixty years have passed and no one can answer the question: What is wrong with him?  Thankfully, my family is more aware of the situation now, but they still need to be pushed to get him insurance so that we can get him in for a mental health assessment. The sucky part is that my Uncle Mike, Don's brother and my dad's twin, got power of attorney to handle Don's affairs after grandpa died, but he's moving like a slug to figure it out. My mom has been really getting on Mike's ass and has supplied him with information on steps to take, but so far he hasn't gotten anywhere.  I think we need to get a diagnoses in hopes to be able to take better care of him. I honestly don't know if he already lost it, or if he has just recently started losing it. At any rate, he needs help and my family needs to not let this slide like they've done in the past. Let's get this Don situation diagnosed. And for the love of God someone needs to take away his car keys. For years, I've wondered how they could let him drive. But, I'm just a kid in their eyes, so what do I know.

It's crazy how as a kid you think the adults in your life have everything figured out, have the answers for everything, and always do the right thing. I'm disappointed every time I learn the adults in my life aren't as smart as I thought they were. Am I really surrounded by idiots? It's worse, I'm related to them, which means idiocy runs in my blood. Lord, help me.

P.S. I think Don has some kind of mental retardation among other issues.

Moisturize

For the past week or so, my waking hours have far out numbered my sleeping hours! I'm functioning like a normal human being! The extra waking hours have blessed me with what seems like extra time on my hands, so I decided to start taking better care of my skin. Lotion was a foreign substance to me before, but this past week I've become a huge fan of moisturizer. I've dealt with dry skin for a while, especially on my face. I just never felt like doing anything about it. Recently, I noticed my legs and arms looking so dry that it appeared I had scales. I've been applying lotion on my legs and arms after I get out of the shower and on my face in the morning. Not only does it make my skin feel way better than before, but it also makes me look like I have flesh instead of scales. At the moment, slapping on lotion doesn't seem too exhausting, so I hope this can continue to be in my routine. If you don't currently moisturize, try it. I was pleasantly surprised by how great it makes me feel! My skin feels super soft... I think I'm addicted to it! 

What Makes Me Happy

It's really not that difficult to make me happy. I get delighted by a beautiful bowel movement, which I've had plenty of in the past week. I'm thrilled to be feeling as well as I'm feeling right now. Seriously, I feel like I'm super woman! No pain, no blood, endless energy, limited anal leakage, and my mind feels unusually sharp. This in itself puts me in a fantastic mood.

Another thing that makes me happy are friendships. Recently, I've had some great conversations with my friend Gabriel about life aspirations and reality checks. My Team Challenge friend and teammate, Rita, and I find comfort in being able to share the gross details of IBD with each other. She gets it!  I love the endless moral support my friend Brittany and I share with each other.  My friend Veronica and I always believe in each other and encourage one another every week. I love the way my best friend Taylor challenges me to step outside my comfort zone. These friends are in my corner of life. Their successes and accomplishments make me happy! Plus, I love it when they're happy!

I also find pleasure in mentoring my cousins through this important time in their young lives.  The moments they see their potential bring me great joy. They have created a spark for their future now we just have to nurture it into a thriving flame. I've staked an interest in their future and I'm excited to help them become the young ladies they aspire to be.

I couldn't end this post without mentioning running. Yes, I felt well enough to start running again! If a guy made me feel like I feel when I'm running, I might consider marrying him. My love, how I've missed you and the unstoppable feeling you give me.  It's always hard getting back into shape, but oddly enough the heavy breathing is a great motivator. It's been so hot that it's like I've been swimming on dry land. I absolutely adore my running shoes on the road. Life for me is great whenever I'm logging miles. It really is my antidepressant.

I Survived The First Week

I know it's a big shock that I survived my first week of classes for the fall semester. This semester I'm taking Portfolio Analysis, Real Estate Property Appraisal, and Supply Chain Management. I can already tell I'm going to enjoy my two senior level electives: Portfolio Analysis and Property Appraisal. I can also already tell that I'm going to dislike the core, junior level, required College of Business course Supply Chain Management.

These three classes wasted no time in keeping me busy. I've already taken a quiz in each class. I was so busy that I momentarily forgot about my runny nose and lingering cough. I always like to set a new routine at the beginning of each semester, so this week I began running on campus. I hope to keep that up on Mondays and Wednesdays after I get out of class.


 I took advantage of a free Karmin concert UCF had for all students and went with Kim. We've been Karminites since they became a YouTube sensation with their cover of Look At Me Now three years ago. Amy and Nick's stage presence was impressive! They both graduated from Berklee College of Music. They put on a super entertaining and fun show. A little bit pop, a little bit hip-hop, and quite a bit of rap... stylistically wide ranging and truly talented!  Oh yeah, and we enjoyed it right from the front row!!!  It was first come, first seated, so Kim started waiting in line to get in after she got out of class at 4:20pm and was one of the first people in line. I met her there after I got off work.  























Let the countdown begin: 15 weeks left in the fall 2014 semester! Christmas break, here I come!

My New Jam

Say what you want, but I love Taylor Swift! This beat totally makes me move!!!

http://youtu.be/nfWlot6h_JM

Social Media Trend - Ice Cubes, Buckets, and Water

Unless, you live under a rock I'm sure you've heard and seen people all over social media accepting the ALS - Ice Bucket Challenge. I'm not a hater, I'm just disappointed that this huge, viral campaign to raise awareness and funds for the horrible disease called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also called Lou Gehrig's disease has turned into just mentioning the letters ALS before dumping a bucket of ice water on your head. How many of these ice dumpers have actually looked up to learn more about the disease? How many of these ice dumpers even considered donating to the cause? Watch this video for a better understanding: http://youtu.be/JNZcC_3YLuo  I was shocked to learn that the average life expectancy after diagnosis is from two to five years. I can bitch all I want to about Crohn's, but I can almost say with certainty that Crohn's will not kill me within the next five years.

I also wonder why the ALS Association hasn't received way more donations than $15.6 million with how many wealthy celebrities that have "taken" the challenge. I am now aware of ALS. I heard about it through the challenge videos folks are posting,  but I learned about it by researching it myself. I've seen very few creative ice water dumps. It's like watching the same thing over and over again. I can criticize all day long, but when it comes down to it I haven't done it yet. I was just nominated by two of my cousins, which is what sparked this topic. Basically, this post is to build hype about my challenge video I'm hoping to post on Friday and to inspire you to learn more about ALS like I did.

I will kind of participate in the ALS - Ice Bucket Challenge by making a video or two and eventually mentioning it. I am now aware of ALS. No, I do not plan to donate to the cause because I have another cause that's near and dear to my heart and wallet. I plan to make my challenge video funny. In fact, I've  already started working on the script. I hope to raise awareness and at the very least I hope to raise a laugh.

Read more about ALS and/or make a donation here:  http://www.alsa.org/about-als/

First Day of Fall 2014 Semester: Portfolio Analysis and Management

My first class of the semester was Portfolio Analysis and Management.  My professor, Dr. Honghui Chen, has a heavy Chinese accent, but I think within a few classes I'll get used to understanding him. This is a senior level class and I could already tell that it's going to work my brain in different ways. There are moments in these upper level classes that I wonder how the heck I've come so far. They are daunting sometimes, but thankfully I'm willing to prepare in order to succeed. I'm learning to better ponder in class questions before coming to a conclusion because my first conclusion is most likely too simple minded for these complex questions. I sat in the front row like usual and Dr. Chen called on me to answer a couple questions. I shined with my knowledge of international finance and exchange rate triangular arbitrage, which I learned over the summer in my international financial management class. I stumbled with the rest of my classmates on a question that was almost like a riddle, which involved finding the shortest distance between two points on a cube. Overall, he made the first class so much fun that the hour and fifteen minutes flew by.

After class, I went home and took a five hour nap. My head hurts so bad that I wish it would fall off. Medicine doesn't seem to be helping me through this cold. I had every intention of running around campus after class, but my head was pounding too much to go through with it. Seriously, tears fell from my eyes on and off all day today from my sinus pressure. I couldn't control it.  Perhaps I'll be up for it after class on Wednesday.

My Last Week of Summer Break

It's crazy to think that today is possibly the last day of summer break I'll ever have. Unless my future employer invests in me to get a master's degree, this is it. By the time next summer gets here, I'll be an alumni from the University of Central Florida. Just thinking about it makes me cry. My goal is to have a job lined up by the time I graduate in May 2015, but I could very well still be job/career hunting next summer.

I took the first couple of days on my last week of break to recover from my trip. Yes, I need recovery time for these sorts of things. I rested and started reading another book. I felt great and had nothing to do. Heck, I even binge watched the Netflix series 'Orange is the New Black.' Hilarious show! Tampon sandwich coming right up!  Sometimes I forget to take time like this for myself when I feel good. I gave myself injections on Wednesday. This was one of the times I felt like a professional needle pillow. I'm pretty good at injecting myself despite occasionally having scary thoughts like what if the needle breaks off inside of me? It's crazy how focused I can get to block out thoughts, doubts and hesitation in order to do what has to be done. I went to see the comedian Pablo Francisco on Thursday because I won tickets. I went with my friend Gabriel and it was nice to catch up on all of our summer adventures.  Among other things, I learned how a dyslexic person flips the bird. The show was a hoot! Friday, I spent the night at my parents' and started making room to move back there in October. Saturday, I went to my friend Brittany's daughter's bday party and afterwards I picked up my cousins, Beth and Megan for a sleepover at my place. Today, I helped them create a three year plan, which included things like graduating high school, getting a driving permit, getting a job, and going to college. I think they will look back on today and say that it was a turning point for the rest of their lives... At least, I hope it will be. They have so much potential and they are just starting to realize it.  I challenged them like I wish someone would have challenged me. I somehow feel responsible for their future like if I stand by and do nothing to inspire them, I'll regret it because no one else will be their inspiration. We even started a writing club where we plan to share a prompt once a month and share what we wrote based on it.

I should have known something was brewing on the horizon because I felt extremely well this week. My bowels are the best it's been in weeks! My poop has been beautiful!!! Well, good days don't just happen without hiccups lingering in the near future. I woke up this morning with a horrible head cold. It was inevitable really... My sister that's my roommate decided to come back to our place of residence after spending three weeks with my parents.  That's fine, but it's annoying because she came back infecting our place with a bad cold, which I now have. School starts tomorrow and I feel like shit. Damn people and their germs... now I'm the germy person being damned.

My Trip to New Jersey

I went to New Jersey with my sister, Kim, to visit my Grandpa Ace's brother, Len. Like the rest of us he has somehow found a way out of the darkness of grief. Len and his wife, Gert, are in their 80's and we stayed at their shore house in Sea Isle City, NJ for four nights. Len is the nicest gentleman I know. Opening and closing doors, being our personal driver, taking care of the trash, insisting on carrying our luggage despite his old age. Always looking to help. Dare I say, no other guy I know can live up to the way Len treats the ladies in his life. Gert is one lucky gal!  Seriously, I need to find myself a 26 year old version of Len. Then, just maybe I could believe in love. Len and Gert are the sweetest!

On our first day, Len and Gert took us to the Borgata in Atlantic City where we feasted on a delicious buffet of food. While we were at the Borgata we tried our hand at the slot machines. Not really understanding what I was doing, or what buttons to press, I blindly won $48 on a 50 cent bet within the first five minutes. I quit while I was ahead. Kim wasn't into gambling, so we explored the casino and afterwards we found a bench where we connected to wifi and watched an episode of Dexter on Netflix with Kim's phone while Gert and Len played their favorite slots. On our way back to Sea Isle, we stopped to see Lucy, the famous elephant. My dad always tells stories of looking out the window in Lucy's butt, so I had to see it for myself. Lucy is 133 years old and she is considered a historic landmark. There are spiral stair cases in her back legs that we climbed up to get to the room inside her belly where we watched a short film about the history of Lucy. Afterwards, another staircase led us to the top of her back with a view of the shore.

On the Second day, we hit the road at 6:30am to go to Liberty State Park where we hitched a ferry ride over to Ellis and Liberty Islands. Len let us borrow his car and Kim drove while I navigated. We arrived a little after 9am. Our reservation for the ferry wasn't until 10am, so we explored the state park. While exploring we found the Empty Sky Memorial. Read more about it here: http://www.nj911memorial.org/

We went through the security checkpoint to get in line for the ferry to Ellis Island.

At first I wasn't that interested in Ellis Island because I was more excited for Liberty Island. However, after walking through the Immigration Museum, I was in total awe of the history of Ellis Island. It was definitely worth the stop!








To the right is a picture of the Registry Room. Nearly every day, for over two decades, the room was filled with new arrivals waiting to be inspected and registered by Immigration Service officers. On many days, over 5,000 people would file through the space. For most immigrants, this great hall epitomized Ellis Island. Here they encountered the complex demands of the immigration laws and an American bureaucracy that could either grant or withhold permission to land in the United States.



The ferry from Ellis Island took us to the much anticipated Liberty Island. We had reservations for the pedestal, but we opted out because we didn't feel like going through security again. We were more than content with our view of lady liberty around the island and on the ferry.  My favorite view was actually from the ferry. I was amazed by how many different nationalities were there visiting this international symbol of freedom.

It was a once in a lifetime experience! I'm so happy I got to share it with Kim.







Overall, it was a sweet adventure. The cherry on top was the view of Manhattan from the Hudson River. This wasn't on my bucket list, but I would recommend others to put it on theirs.

By noon we were in the car heading back to Sea Isle City. On the way back, we encountered heavy traffic leaving the city. It took us twice as long to get back as it did to get there. The interesting thing about New Jersey is that to get gas all you have to do is pull up to the pump and roll down your window. That's because there are no self service gas stations in New Jersey. A station attendant will come over, you tell them what kind of gas and how much you want, and then you give them cash or a card while they pump it for you. We used the $48 I won the day before as gas and toll money. It sounds dumb, but I could totally get used to having someone else pump my gas. We eventually made it back to the shore house by dinner time. A nap followed my return.

On our third day, we headed south two towns down to Stone Harbor. Stone Harbor is a quaint little beach town with shops and restaurants. It even has it's very own movie theater with only four screens. We walked around, window shopped, and ate at a place called Italian Garden where I enjoyed an Italian Hoagie. After we ate, we decided to see the movie TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). The same person who sold us the movie ticket also sold us our water bottles and started the movie. Once we got back to the shore house, I took a nap before getting ready to go to Harrah's resort and casino in Atlantic City to see the acapella group Straight No Chaser. Aunt Gert got two complimentary tickets to the show, so Kim and I went to the show while Gert and Len played the slots. Straight No Chaser was amazing! Probably the most vocally talented concert I've ever been to. They even turned off their microphones for an entire set. Even though we had second to the last row seats, their voices radiated throughout the venue. Their range and arrangement of classic songs gave me goose bumps. Their on stage banter added to the entertainment value. My jaw was pretty much on the floor the entire show because they were phenomenal! When we met up with Len and Gert after the concert, we learned that Gert had won $1,000 on a 40 cent bet! I had never seen her smile that big before. On the way to get the car from the valet, Gert stopped at a bathroom. While Kim, Len and I were waiting outside of the bathroom for her, a huge fight broke out. Long story short...this guy started beating on a security officer. I've never witnessed anything like it, nor do I wish to see anything like it again. Punches being thrown, the sound of flying fists hammering down on the poor officer's head, screams of pain and curse words filled the smoky air... One bystander pulled out her phone and started recording the event. Others hollered for help while I ushered Kim and Len away from the action and just seconds later the fight was right where we had been standing. I kept my eye on the bathroom door Gert would be coming out of.  Others from the crowd jumped into the fight. Some to also wail on the security guard and others to try and stop the mess. As soon as I saw Gert I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and walked her to where I left Kim and Len. She wanted to know what the commotion was all about. I just wanted to get them out of there to a safe place.  As we were walking out about five police officers ran by us to get to the action. I was not a hero. I didn't seek help. I grabbed my people and left. What would you have done?

On our last day, we left Sea Isle City and ate at a small diner on our way North to Stratford, NJ. Stratford is the small town where Len and my grandpa grew up. It's the same town my dad grew up in before his family moved to Florida when he was 11 years old. I got to see the old family homestead, Len and grandpa's grade school, their church, the bar where Len and grandpa had their first beer, and the establishment where grandpa opened his first business. Everything was less than a half mile away from each other. Len now lives about a mile away from where he grew up. I can't even fathom living in one place for over 80 years. It's bad enough that I'll be going on 27 years in one place and I'm ready to get out of here. Anyway after we had the tour of the past meets present, we went to Gert's sister's house to meet some relatives we'd never met before. We met two of her younger sister's and their husbands. It was a special day. We even saw Grandpa Ace in his 1948 year book on the swim team. Len loved showing off Grandpa in his bathing suit. We talked around the kitchen table for about an hour before we had to head to the airport.

Summer Break Part 1

It's hard to believe I haven't taken a single nap so far during my summer break. That in itself is proof I'm been feeling pretty well. Some typical issues health wise, but they seem so minor compared to what I was dealing with that I welcome them. Plus, I'm gaining some weight back. Weight is good because it gives me a little cushion room during bad times since when things go bad quickly I've been known to lose 17lbs in two weeks. Weight also seems to give me more energy and when it's sticking, it usually means I'm doing well... unless I'm on steroids, then I'm just a sick, chubby chipmunk.

Summer Break: Day 1
I spent my free time having dinner with my grandma. No doubt that she enjoys my company as I enjoy hers as well.  She has come a long way in the past couple of weeks emotionally. Now, she can reminisce of stories about grandpa without getting too emotional. It made me realize that somewhere in the past month I have stopped mourning grandpa's death. I can't tell which specific day I no longer broke into tears at the thought of losing grandpa, but somehow the crying has ceased. I still miss him though.

Summer Break: Day 2
After work, I met Taylor, her boyfriend and her grandparents at their hotel downtown to get a pre-graduation celebration underway. We enjoyed happy hour where Taylor and I took advantage of their whiskey and coke special. We all drank and chatted about life wasting time before heading to Sak Comedy for a show. My face cheeks hurt from laughing so hard during the show. After we walked back to the hotel, we called it a night and I headed home.

Summer Break: Day 3
I met Taylor's friends and family at the CFE Arena on UCF campus at 7:30am for Taylor's graduation at 9:00am. The graduation was long, but I enjoyed every minute of it. We spotted her walking in to find her seat and she spotted us as she stood up to head to the stage. The speaker called, "Taylor Lauren Conklin," and Taylor gave a little fist pump as she walked across the stage! I fought back tears. I'm so proud of her! Witnessing a UCF graduation makes me even more excited to work hard to graduate in May 2015. Following the graduation we went to Kobe's to celebrate!

Summer Break: Day 4
This morning I put on my running shoes for the first time in a month to meet my friend, Brittany, on the West Orange Trail. We're training for a five mile race in October. We decided to go for five miles, and I was gladly surprised how well we did for just beginning our training schedules.  I love running with friends. They make the miles fun. After our run, I showered and headed to my mom's friend's house to put her camcorder videos onto DVD. It took all afternoon because she had a lot of videos, but I didn't mind since she pays me to do it.

I'm just getting started... more fun times ahead!