It's pretty obvious when you meet my dad's older brother Don that he has physical and mental limitations. He has lived with his parents for his entire sixty years of life and I believe they have covered up a lot of his shortcomings. Whether it be by helping him bathe and get dressed, or making excuses and denying his lack of ability. For the most part, everyone in my family just ignored it and didn't say or question anything about it. Don did attend a special education school growing up, but other than that I've only recently heard my family talk about him having an "issue". It sounds shallow, but for my whole life I've avoided conversations with him. He's really difficult to understand and I find two-way communication with him to be hard. Since I've been spending more time with grandma, which means more time with Don, I've observed him like I never have before. I don't know that things with him have always been this bad, but I'm definitely aware of it more now.
Three months ago Uncle Don's dad (my grandpa ace) passed away and a short time before that Don got laid-off of work because he could no longer perform the functions of the job. He lost his health benefits when he lost his job and due to recent developments, he needs health insurance NOW. The traumatic events of him losing his job and father have taken an unquestionable toll on his already questionable health. Especially, mentally. Grandma is even starting to speak up about it. Don believes he sees his dad and tells grandma on a regular basis what his dad said last night. Grandma has tried to explain death to him and that he's just dreaming, but he doesn't fully understand that grandpa ace isn't here on this Earth anymore. It's heartbreaking and it's extremely hard on my grandma. Over the past three months, Don's speech has become even harder to understand, his anger has increased, his intellectual understanding is more limited, and he is often confused. Lately, I don't think he knows what's real and what's not. He has started moving his lips without any words coming out while moving his hands in sharp motions before touching his face oddly during dinner while everyone else is in conversation.
Sixty years have passed and no one can answer the question: What is wrong with him? Thankfully, my family is more aware of the situation now, but they still need to be pushed to get him insurance so that we can get him in for a mental health assessment. The sucky part is that my Uncle Mike, Don's brother and my dad's twin, got power of attorney to handle Don's affairs after grandpa died, but he's moving like a slug to figure it out. My mom has been really getting on Mike's ass and has supplied him with information on steps to take, but so far he hasn't gotten anywhere. I think we need to get a diagnoses in hopes to be able to take better care of him. I honestly don't know if he already lost it, or if he has just recently started losing it. At any rate, he needs help and my family needs to not let this slide like they've done in the past. Let's get this Don situation diagnosed. And for the love of God someone needs to take away his car keys. For years, I've wondered how they could let him drive. But, I'm just a kid in their eyes, so what do I know.
It's crazy how as a kid you think the adults in your life have everything figured out, have the answers for everything, and always do the right thing. I'm disappointed every time I learn the adults in my life aren't as smart as I thought they were. Am I really surrounded by idiots? It's worse, I'm related to them, which means idiocy runs in my blood. Lord, help me.
P.S. I think Don has some kind of mental retardation among other issues.
Showing posts with label family history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family history. Show all posts
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
My Trip to New Jersey
I went to New Jersey with my sister, Kim, to visit my Grandpa Ace's brother, Len. Like the rest of us he has somehow found a way out of the darkness of grief. Len and his wife, Gert, are in their 80's and we stayed at their shore house in Sea Isle City, NJ for four nights. Len is the nicest gentleman I know. Opening and closing doors, being our personal driver, taking care of the trash, insisting on carrying our luggage despite his old age. Always looking to help. Dare I say, no other guy I know can live up to the way Len treats the ladies in his life. Gert is one lucky gal! Seriously, I need to find myself a 26 year old version of Len. Then, just maybe I could believe in love. Len and Gert are the sweetest!
On our first day, Len and Gert took us to the Borgata in Atlantic City where we feasted on a delicious buffet of food. While we were at the Borgata we tried our hand at the slot machines. Not really understanding what I was doing, or what buttons to press, I blindly won $48 on a 50 cent bet within the first five minutes. I quit while I was ahead. Kim wasn't into gambling, so we explored the casino and afterwards we found a bench where we connected to wifi and watched an episode of Dexter on Netflix with Kim's phone while Gert and Len played their favorite slots. On our way back to Sea Isle, we stopped to see Lucy, the famous elephant. My dad always tells stories of looking out the window in Lucy's butt, so I had to see it for myself. Lucy is 133 years old and she is considered a historic landmark. There are spiral stair cases in her back legs that we climbed up to get to the room inside her belly where we watched a short film about the history of Lucy. Afterwards, another staircase led us to the top of her back with a view of the shore.
On the Second day, we hit the road at 6:30am to go to Liberty State Park where we hitched a ferry ride over to Ellis and Liberty Islands. Len let us borrow his car and Kim drove while I navigated. We arrived a little after 9am. Our reservation for the ferry wasn't until 10am, so we explored the state park. While exploring we found the Empty Sky Memorial. Read more about it here: http://www.nj911memorial.org/
At first I wasn't that interested in Ellis Island because I was more excited for Liberty Island. However, after walking through the Immigration Museum, I was in total awe of the history of Ellis Island. It was definitely worth the stop!
To the right is a picture of the Registry Room. Nearly every day, for over two decades, the room was filled with new arrivals waiting to be inspected and registered by Immigration Service officers. On many days, over 5,000 people would file through the space. For most immigrants, this great hall epitomized Ellis Island. Here they encountered the complex demands of the immigration laws and an American bureaucracy that could either grant or withhold permission to land in the United States.
The ferry from Ellis Island took us to the much anticipated Liberty Island. We had reservations for the pedestal, but we opted out because we didn't feel like going through security again. We were more than content with our view of lady liberty around the island and on the ferry. My favorite view was actually from the ferry. I was amazed by how many different nationalities were there visiting this international symbol of freedom.
It was a once in a lifetime experience! I'm so happy I got to share it with Kim.
Overall, it was a sweet adventure. The cherry on top was the view of Manhattan from the Hudson River. This wasn't on my bucket list, but I would recommend others to put it on theirs.
By noon we were in the car heading back to Sea Isle City. On the way back, we encountered heavy traffic leaving the city. It took us twice as long to get back as it did to get there. The interesting thing about New Jersey is that to get gas all you have to do is pull up to the pump and roll down your window. That's because there are no self service gas stations in New Jersey. A station attendant will come over, you tell them what kind of gas and how much you want, and then you give them cash or a card while they pump it for you. We used the $48 I won the day before as gas and toll money. It sounds dumb, but I could totally get used to having someone else pump my gas. We eventually made it back to the shore house by dinner time. A nap followed my return.
On our third day, we headed south two towns down to Stone Harbor. Stone Harbor is a quaint little beach town with shops and restaurants. It even has it's very own movie theater with only four screens. We walked around, window shopped, and ate at a place called Italian Garden where I enjoyed an Italian Hoagie. After we ate, we decided to see the movie TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). The same person who sold us the movie ticket also sold us our water bottles and started the movie. Once we got back to the shore house, I took a nap before getting ready to go to Harrah's resort and casino in Atlantic City to see the acapella group Straight No Chaser. Aunt Gert got two complimentary tickets to the show, so Kim and I went to the show while Gert and Len played the slots. Straight No Chaser was amazing! Probably the most vocally talented concert I've ever been to. They even turned off their microphones for an entire set. Even though we had second to the last row seats, their voices radiated throughout the venue. Their range and arrangement of classic songs gave me goose bumps. Their on stage banter added to the entertainment value. My jaw was pretty much on the floor the entire show because they were phenomenal! When we met up with Len and Gert after the concert, we learned that Gert had won $1,000 on a 40 cent bet! I had never seen her smile that big before. On the way to get the car from the valet, Gert stopped at a bathroom. While Kim, Len and I were waiting outside of the bathroom for her, a huge fight broke out. Long story short...this guy started beating on a security officer. I've never witnessed anything like it, nor do I wish to see anything like it again. Punches being thrown, the sound of flying fists hammering down on the poor officer's head, screams of pain and curse words filled the smoky air... One bystander pulled out her phone and started recording the event. Others hollered for help while I ushered Kim and Len away from the action and just seconds later the fight was right where we had been standing. I kept my eye on the bathroom door Gert would be coming out of. Others from the crowd jumped into the fight. Some to also wail on the security guard and others to try and stop the mess. As soon as I saw Gert I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and walked her to where I left Kim and Len. She wanted to know what the commotion was all about. I just wanted to get them out of there to a safe place. As we were walking out about five police officers ran by us to get to the action. I was not a hero. I didn't seek help. I grabbed my people and left. What would you have done?
On our last day, we left Sea Isle City and ate at a small diner on our way North to Stratford, NJ. Stratford is the small town where Len and my grandpa grew up. It's the same town my dad grew up in before his family moved to Florida when he was 11 years old. I got to see the old family homestead, Len and grandpa's grade school, their church, the bar where Len and grandpa had their first beer, and the establishment where grandpa opened his first business. Everything was less than a half mile away from each other. Len now lives about a mile away from where he grew up. I can't even fathom living in one place for over 80 years. It's bad enough that I'll be going on 27 years in one place and I'm ready to get out of here. Anyway after we had the tour of the past meets present, we went to Gert's sister's house to meet some relatives we'd never met before. We met two of her younger sister's and their husbands. It was a special day. We even saw Grandpa Ace in his 1948 year book on the swim team. Len loved showing off Grandpa in his bathing suit. We talked around the kitchen table for about an hour before we had to head to the airport.
On our first day, Len and Gert took us to the Borgata in Atlantic City where we feasted on a delicious buffet of food. While we were at the Borgata we tried our hand at the slot machines. Not really understanding what I was doing, or what buttons to press, I blindly won $48 on a 50 cent bet within the first five minutes. I quit while I was ahead. Kim wasn't into gambling, so we explored the casino and afterwards we found a bench where we connected to wifi and watched an episode of Dexter on Netflix with Kim's phone while Gert and Len played their favorite slots. On our way back to Sea Isle, we stopped to see Lucy, the famous elephant. My dad always tells stories of looking out the window in Lucy's butt, so I had to see it for myself. Lucy is 133 years old and she is considered a historic landmark. There are spiral stair cases in her back legs that we climbed up to get to the room inside her belly where we watched a short film about the history of Lucy. Afterwards, another staircase led us to the top of her back with a view of the shore.
On the Second day, we hit the road at 6:30am to go to Liberty State Park where we hitched a ferry ride over to Ellis and Liberty Islands. Len let us borrow his car and Kim drove while I navigated. We arrived a little after 9am. Our reservation for the ferry wasn't until 10am, so we explored the state park. While exploring we found the Empty Sky Memorial. Read more about it here: http://www.nj911memorial.org/
 |
| We went through the security checkpoint to get in line for the ferry to Ellis Island. |
At first I wasn't that interested in Ellis Island because I was more excited for Liberty Island. However, after walking through the Immigration Museum, I was in total awe of the history of Ellis Island. It was definitely worth the stop!
To the right is a picture of the Registry Room. Nearly every day, for over two decades, the room was filled with new arrivals waiting to be inspected and registered by Immigration Service officers. On many days, over 5,000 people would file through the space. For most immigrants, this great hall epitomized Ellis Island. Here they encountered the complex demands of the immigration laws and an American bureaucracy that could either grant or withhold permission to land in the United States.
The ferry from Ellis Island took us to the much anticipated Liberty Island. We had reservations for the pedestal, but we opted out because we didn't feel like going through security again. We were more than content with our view of lady liberty around the island and on the ferry. My favorite view was actually from the ferry. I was amazed by how many different nationalities were there visiting this international symbol of freedom.
It was a once in a lifetime experience! I'm so happy I got to share it with Kim.
Overall, it was a sweet adventure. The cherry on top was the view of Manhattan from the Hudson River. This wasn't on my bucket list, but I would recommend others to put it on theirs.
By noon we were in the car heading back to Sea Isle City. On the way back, we encountered heavy traffic leaving the city. It took us twice as long to get back as it did to get there. The interesting thing about New Jersey is that to get gas all you have to do is pull up to the pump and roll down your window. That's because there are no self service gas stations in New Jersey. A station attendant will come over, you tell them what kind of gas and how much you want, and then you give them cash or a card while they pump it for you. We used the $48 I won the day before as gas and toll money. It sounds dumb, but I could totally get used to having someone else pump my gas. We eventually made it back to the shore house by dinner time. A nap followed my return.
On our third day, we headed south two towns down to Stone Harbor. Stone Harbor is a quaint little beach town with shops and restaurants. It even has it's very own movie theater with only four screens. We walked around, window shopped, and ate at a place called Italian Garden where I enjoyed an Italian Hoagie. After we ate, we decided to see the movie TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). The same person who sold us the movie ticket also sold us our water bottles and started the movie. Once we got back to the shore house, I took a nap before getting ready to go to Harrah's resort and casino in Atlantic City to see the acapella group Straight No Chaser. Aunt Gert got two complimentary tickets to the show, so Kim and I went to the show while Gert and Len played the slots. Straight No Chaser was amazing! Probably the most vocally talented concert I've ever been to. They even turned off their microphones for an entire set. Even though we had second to the last row seats, their voices radiated throughout the venue. Their range and arrangement of classic songs gave me goose bumps. Their on stage banter added to the entertainment value. My jaw was pretty much on the floor the entire show because they were phenomenal! When we met up with Len and Gert after the concert, we learned that Gert had won $1,000 on a 40 cent bet! I had never seen her smile that big before. On the way to get the car from the valet, Gert stopped at a bathroom. While Kim, Len and I were waiting outside of the bathroom for her, a huge fight broke out. Long story short...this guy started beating on a security officer. I've never witnessed anything like it, nor do I wish to see anything like it again. Punches being thrown, the sound of flying fists hammering down on the poor officer's head, screams of pain and curse words filled the smoky air... One bystander pulled out her phone and started recording the event. Others hollered for help while I ushered Kim and Len away from the action and just seconds later the fight was right where we had been standing. I kept my eye on the bathroom door Gert would be coming out of. Others from the crowd jumped into the fight. Some to also wail on the security guard and others to try and stop the mess. As soon as I saw Gert I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and walked her to where I left Kim and Len. She wanted to know what the commotion was all about. I just wanted to get them out of there to a safe place. As we were walking out about five police officers ran by us to get to the action. I was not a hero. I didn't seek help. I grabbed my people and left. What would you have done?
On our last day, we left Sea Isle City and ate at a small diner on our way North to Stratford, NJ. Stratford is the small town where Len and my grandpa grew up. It's the same town my dad grew up in before his family moved to Florida when he was 11 years old. I got to see the old family homestead, Len and grandpa's grade school, their church, the bar where Len and grandpa had their first beer, and the establishment where grandpa opened his first business. Everything was less than a half mile away from each other. Len now lives about a mile away from where he grew up. I can't even fathom living in one place for over 80 years. It's bad enough that I'll be going on 27 years in one place and I'm ready to get out of here. Anyway after we had the tour of the past meets present, we went to Gert's sister's house to meet some relatives we'd never met before. We met two of her younger sister's and their husbands. It was a special day. We even saw Grandpa Ace in his 1948 year book on the swim team. Len loved showing off Grandpa in his bathing suit. We talked around the kitchen table for about an hour before we had to head to the airport.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)