I’m always shocked when a doctor actually helps me solve a health issue. I’m certainly not an optimist when it comes to health. I think the healthcare industry is out for my money… meaning they’ll mask some symptoms here and there, but they’ll make sure I have to come back for more “treatment.” How can I blame them? They would be out of business if they cured everyone. I’m beyond amazed that my dermatologist was able to get my hair to regrow in the area I suffered hair loss. The last time I saw the area, it was a smooth, fist size bald spot. I haven’t mustered up the courage to look at it since then. It sounds weird, but I can’t feel the difference of whether my hair is re-growing or not when I use my prescribed shampoo. Since I have my sister, Kelly, put the topical steroid ointment on “the spot” I haven’t had to look at it. Kelly’s reaction to how fast the new hair seems to be growing makes me feel good. It’s the complete opposite reaction everyone had when I showed them the bald spot when I first lost the hair.
I was hysterical when I first lost the patch of hair. I hated that I was that emotionally attached to my hair. My hair isn’t even that great. I didn’t believe it would grow back. I cried for hours a day mourning the loss of… hair. My friends and family saw me break down. Do you know the phrase that says, “Time heals all wounds?” I feel like this is a life lesson I refuse to learn. The days, weeks and months when stomach pain deteriorated me, I thought I would forever be enslaved to the torment my body was putting me through. Even now, during this time of wicked exhaustion, I feel like I will never be refueled with life again. Like the issue with my hair these things will pass with time. Now, the hair loss is no big deal. It’s just difficult to see that while I’m in the middle of it. I think the phrase would be better if it said, “Wounds that don’t heal with time will be healed by death.” By adding the element of death to the phrase I think it encompasses those “wounds” which run out of time. This is totally the pessimist in me talking, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m impatient. Part of me doesn’t expect to be healed from anything until I die. No wonder sometimes I think, I can’t wait to die. Though I write those last few lines with some sarcasm, I know I need to work on strengthening my faith. Today I will celebrate the good news by taking a nap!
