Most healthy Americans don't have to get their first colonoscopy until after they turn fifty as a screening for colon cancer. I had two colonoscopies by the time I was twenty-five. Wah, wah no big deal. That's right, it's not a big deal to someone with healthy bowels. The procedure is pretty routine. I'm jealous of how easy it was for my dad and my friend Taylor. I also can't describe how strongly I desire to have their grossly normal results.
Before I get into my first colonoscopy, let me back up and explain how I came about getting there. By the way, I had my first colonoscopy back in 2003. I don't remember exactly how many months I had been experiencing weird and sometimes painful bowel movements before I finally told my parents that I needed to go to the doctor. I suffered in silence for far too long. I had lots of puss, blood and mucus in my bowel movements. Did I mention a lot of BLOOD? I was going to the bathroom at least 10 times a day with diarrhea. I didn't know what was happening to me. I tried to keep quiet about it, but soon my family started noticing that I was in the bathroom a lot. They never questioned it, they just made comments. I was afraid and embarrassed to tell anyone until one day when I gathered the courage and called my mom into the bathroom to look in the toilet. I remember the look of concern in her eyes. I had other symptoms, too. I saw my pediatrician, I saw my OBGYN (the issue was with my butt, so I'm not sure why the dr. had poking and biopsies done in my vagina. I still remember the size of the needle they stuck me with down under. I'm pretty sure I closed my legs on the doctor's head after that), eventually I was finally referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The diagnostic testing I underwent included: blood work, upper GI series, barium x-rays, sonogram and lastly the colonoscopy.
I had my first colonoscopy when I was fifteen. FIFTEEN! Damn, I was a strong kid. I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug. I had to drink a gallon of prep. For those of you that don't know prep is the stuff you drink the day before the colonoscopy to clean you out so that the scope can clearly see your colon. They also make prep taste so bad that if the only source of hydration left on the planet tasted like prep, I would rather die of dehydration than gag it down. Obviously, I was down in the dumps by the time I had to take the prep, which probably makes it harder to endure. To give someone that already has the shits a gallon of prep to drink in order to give them worse shits seems like cruel and unusual punishment. I spent the night crying on toilet. By morning I was extremely dehydrated from everything that came out of me. My mom drove me to the hospital and I don't really remember anything there until I woke up in the recovery room. I was gassy from all the air they shot up me to keep the passage open for the scope to see. My stomach hurt, but I think the pain was from being so empty. The findings of the colonoscopy concluded the diagnosis of Crohn's disease. I had the same question most people have when they first hear about Crohn's. What the hell is that? That's a topic for another post entirely. My mom drove me home and I think I slept most of the day.
I don't remember telling any of my friends about what I was going through. My basketball teammates only knew that I was sick. I'm sure my mom told coach and some of the parents, but as far as telling people about this poop disease... I've come a long way since then. I'm all about creating awareness because I don't want some lost kid to be too afraid to speak up and get help sooner than I did.
My second colonoscopy is fresher in my mind because it was in 2012. By the time I got around to getting an appointment with my gastroenterologist I had very little control of my bowels. I was pooping myself on a regular basis. Experienced pain that's impossible to explain. I lost 17lbs in a couple weeks. It was my first big flare with Crohn's since being diagnosed. I was even further in the dumps than when I had to take my first prep. This time around I told my friends about it and most of them were supportive. I went through a different prep this time around. I took some kind of pills to prep the prep. I also drank a bottle of magnesium citrate two days before the colonoscopy. If you've never tried that glorious prep, you can pick up a bottle at any CVS or the like to try. Just take a sip to taste it. Then, I had to drink 8oz of the prescribed prep every 15 minutes until it was gone. I remember clear liquid coming from my ass by the time I was finished. I failed to mention that I fuss and whine like a baby about how I don't want to prep while I prep. It's miserable.
My mom drove me to get the colonoscopy. The first thing the nurse wanted me to do when she took me back was to pee in a cup to make sure I wasn't pregnant. The problem was that I was so dehydrated that I tried to pee for over an hour and half in that damn cup of hers and I couldn't even get a single drop of urine out of me. Finally, I signed a paper stating I wasn't pregnant. The thing about dehydration is that it makes it difficult to find my veins for the IV. I scolded that nurse for bruising my arm with the needle searching for a vein. When she finally hooked me up, I'm sure she couldn't wait to get me drugged. By this point I had been laying on the bed naked with a butt flap gown and blanket over me for what seemed like forever.
To me, it feels like a lot of time passes between when I get put under the anesthesia and when I wake up. When I woke up this time, I heard my mom talking with the doctor. The operative procedure report from my doctor confirms what I thought I heard:
"A stricture was found in the rectum." "We used a pediatric scope since I don't
believe a regular would pass." "...the stricture was ulcerative." "I did see an
orifice likely a fistula. Colitis was found in the descending colon. We reached
an area with significant ulceration and angulation. I could not go beyond this
level. It may be stricture but I don't know with certainty. The remaining bowel
was fairly normal with some old scarring."
I have colored photos that were taken with the scope of my colon to confirm everything in the report. I'd post them, but I'm sure that would freak you out if you didn't want to see it. It's scary to look at. You'd question how I get poop out through the inflammation and tight passage way. No wonder I was in such pain. I'm surprised that since they couldn't go all the way up due to the stricture that my doctor hasn't ordered another colonoscopy to get a better look beyond it now that I seem to be doing better. I think a colonoscopy would be cake if I could prep while I feel good. Maybe next time, I'll throw a prepping party where my friends can take shots of alcohol while I take shots of the delicious prep.
