A Gift Tester

I have a confession to make:

A book I ordered for a friend came in the mail yesterday.  I read the synopsis on the back of the book and I couldn't help myself... I read six chapters last night and I can't wait to read more. It's a novel about an enduring friendship. I should make sure to read the whole book to make sure it's a good Christmas gift, right?  I'm in the middle of studying for finals, so I've been getting distracted very easily.

A gift I ordered for another friend came in the mail earlier this week. Three different flavors of loose leaf tea were calling my name to test them out. It's my duty as a friend to taste each of them to make sure she's going to like it, right?  Now I can tell her which flavor I think she'll like the best.

I can't just buy someone a gift and not know exactly what it is. I will go the extra mile to test the gift so that I know what it is my friends will be getting from me. I want to be able to put my stamp of approval on it. If it doesn't pass my testing, I'll likely find a new gift to give. Although you may be getting a used  or opened gift from me, you should know that at least it passed my test. That's the kind of friend I am... Always looking out for you because my friends deserve the best!

Thanksgiving Eve

It was a typical Wednesday for me. I worked half a day, and then went to UCF for my class. I think my group finished our project, so now all we have to do is submit it before Tuesday. Although I did most of the heavy lifting in our group project by gathering the data at the Bloomberg terminals on campus, setting up our model in excel with equations, and running our regression analysis, the other two girls in my group did well at styling the format, explaining our outputs, and making it look professional.  I have my last class of the semester on Monday. Two of my finals (Real Estate and Supply Chain) open up in the testing lab on Wednesday, December 3rd. My plan is to take those two exams on Wednesday, but I do have until Friday to take them if I don't feel prepared enough by Wednesday. My last final will be an in class exam for Portfolio Analysis on Monday, December 8th at 1pm.  I am counting down for this semester to be over! I'm really only expecting to get an A in Real Estate. In Supply Chain and Portfolio Analysis I'm expecting a B. I'm slipping a little bit, and frankly I don't care as much as I thought I would. I'm just ready to be done.

Hopefully, I'll find time to study between family tomorrow and my half marathon on Sunday. Training hasn't gone as planned for the past two weeks, which disappoints me because I was doing so well. At least, my stomach pain has stopped for now.  I'm up to 146 lbs. My poop has been unbelievably beautiful. My turds have been so big that I question whether they really came out of my ass. Though I'm sure they were still way smaller than your turds. Heck my turds are smaller than my four year old cousin's turds. I seriously get jealous of her big turds. I actually feel good after a bowel movement. I'm going to try to race smart and pace myself by running with my sister Kim or with Coach Janice from Team Challenge. I'm excited to get out there and finish the race! I need a this small victory to prove to myself again that no matter how many times my body knocks me down, I can always get back up and accomplish incredible, physical feats. I hope I never lose the courage to get back up and try.

A List of 20 Things I'm Thankful For

1. My parents
2. My sisters (Yes, I'm thankful for all three of them)
3. My friends
4. My family (I'm grateful for most of them, at least)
5. My health (In some way, I appreciate what's given to me.)
6. Insurance
7. Toilet paper
8. Moist wipes
9. Indoor toilets
10. Pads
11. Spell check
12. The hair on my head
13. the opportunity to get an education
14. Pain (It's given me a greater ability to be empathetic. Without pain I wouldn't value the little things in life as much as I do)
15. Grocery stores (If I had to hunt my own food, I'd probably become a vegetarian)
16. Water
17. The military
18. The roof over my head.
19. Electricity
20. Internet connection

Thieves Oil

In the spring, I began applying a drop of Thieves oil to the bottom of each foot every morning. After months of my uncle and mom nagging me to use Thieves oil, I finally gave in just so that they would shut up. They claimed it would protect me from getting sick with colds and even the flu. It somehow fights against airborne bacteria. Obviously, I could use some help in that area since I don't really have a properly functioning immune system. However, I was skeptical about the benefits of using Thieves oil on the bottom of my feet. I thought it was just another crazy health claim.

For me, Thieves oil has actually worked in protecting me against colds. Trust me, I'm shocked it's worked so well.  I've been using Thieves oil for about eight months and I've yet to get a cold while using it. The time I did get a cold I had stopped using thieves, but as soon as I started applying it to the bottom of my feet again the cold quickly went away. I didn't get sick when I went to germy NYC.  I've been at work and school when it seems like everyone around me is coughing and sniffling, yet I somehow remain uninfected. I have felt my body fight off nasty colds by sneezing more. It may be foolish, but I now believe in Thieves oil so much that I opted out of getting a flu shot this year. Plus, it makes my feet smell good!

I don't know if Thieves works for everyone, but it works for me. Now a cold is one less thing I have to deal with, which is amazing! I deal with enough health issues so it's nice to be able to focus on other aspects of my health. I used to always be battling some kind of cold. Last year I was so consistently sick that I was never well enough to get a flu shot.

Below is a link about Thieves oil and it's multiple uses. Even though I only use it for #7
http://essentialwellness.tumblr.com/post/13130776527/50-ways-to-use-thieves-essential-oil

Texas for Christmas

I decided to use my Southwest Airline voucher before it expired in May 2015 to visit Veronica for Christmas. I knew I better use the voucher during my winter break because  I was not likely to use it during my spring semester.  I got the voucher when I cancelled my trip to Texas so that I could attend my grandpa's funeral. I debated on traveling to another city for an adventure of exploring it on my own, but I missed my friend Veronica too much to pass up an opportunity to see her! The last time I saw her was for only about 15 minutes when I had a layover in Austin in July of 2013 and she came to the Airport just to see me for that short amount of time. I felt bad when I had to cancel my trip to see her earlier this year when I lost my grandpa, but she was so understanding and comforting during that difficult time. Veronica was right on board with my idea to visit her for Christmas! We are both super excited!

Have you ever seen one of those awful Christmas movies on Hallmark Channel? The only reason I have is because my mom used to be obsessed with those movies. She no longer has the Hallmark Channel, praise Jesus! Anyways, I felt like the out of touch character from one of those movies when I first told my mom I wasn't going to be home for Christmas. She was overly disappointed.  I see my family all year round, so it's not like we only gather and see each other on Christmas. I don't think it's a big deal that I won't be home for Christmas. After some talking, my mom seemed to be coping with it better. I've never traveled during Christmas time before, but I think I'm up for the chaos. I booked nonstop flights so hopefully that helps me get to where I'm going on time. I also can't tell you the last time I had a 5 day long vacation. No school, no work, no family... it's going to be great!

Moving The Scale in the Right Direction

I think today is the first day since Thursday that I actually ate two meals: lunch and dinner. I weighed in tonight at 143, so I'm moving the scale in the right direction. I'm still experiencing occasional stabbing pain throughout the day. Somehow I managed to survive my daily routine of work and school yesterday and today. I've been taking naps in my car during my short break between work and school. Exhaustion has overcome me because I haven't been sleeping very well due to pain waking me up multiple times in the middle of the night. The pain is a little higher than my belly button, which leads me to conclude that it's my small bowel giving me issues. The weird thing is that my bowel movements have been nicely formed. They seem way too beautiful for the way I'm feeling.

I know I should be eating more regularly, but I would rather not eat and be in less pain and be able to trust my bowels at work and school than eat and shit myself or be in the bathroom constantly. I also know I could be taking the pain pills I have, but I'm not. The pain pills make me drowsy and cause constipation. I have to be alert enough to drive, work, and learn at school. I could take them at night, but in my experience the drowsiness doesn't wear off by morning. Some folks have advised me to make an appointment with my doctor. I haven't and I most likely won't. Quite honestly, the doctor is limited on what to do. He could prescribe me pain meds. I won't take them because I have a life to live. He could order me to have a colonoscopy. Yeah, it's probably time for one of those dreadful things again since it's been two years, but that won't tell him anything we don't already know: I have active disease in my intestines. He could prescribe me the steroid Prednisone. No thanks, I'd rather deal with this until it passes. Prednisone is EVIL! I feel like I lose who I am while taking it.  Some people don't understand my reasoning and conclude that since I won't take action that my current state of suffering is my fault. It must be nice to believe that doctors can make everything better. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Down 9 lbs In a Few Days

I've spent all weekend recovering from the debilitating pain and frequent BMs I encountered Thursday night and Friday. It's 6:30pm on Sunday and I've slept for almost 29 hours  since Friday afternoon. This morning I finally felt well enough to eat. Surprisingly, I haven't regretted that decision yet. I just weighed myself and I'm down to 141.5 lbs. That means I've lost about 9 lbs. in the last few days. It really is scary how fast I can lose weight. It's a good reminder of why I need to try to maintain the 150 threshold though. The pain has stopped, so I'm hopeful things are turning around even if the pounds are still dripping off me. I'm just really sore, weak, and super cautious about what I'm eating even though I have no idea what triggered this in the first place.

Thankfully, I had nothing due for school this week. I have a group project in my portfolio analysis class, but we won't get the details on the project until this Wednesday, so there wasn't anything we could do with that yet. I have an open homework assignment for my supply chain management class, but it's not due until the 23rd, so that was fine to wait. I did review a few chapters for my real estate final though.

I didn't get my long run in this weekend. I wanted to log an eight mile run, but my body wasn't up for it. I could barely stand straight up these past few days. My belly is really sore. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to log eight during the week if I continue to feel better. I have built a solid base, so if I miss a few training runs I should just be able to lower my intervals and still be in good shape to finish my upcoming races.

Successful Pinterest Project

When I'm not in a biting my nails phase, I love to paint my fingernails a different color every week. For some reason, I'm less likely to bite my nails if they are painted. I've never gotten a manicure. Mostly because I'm a afraid I'll get a serious infection under my nails, which will lead to me having to get my fingers amputated. I've read  the internet, and the risk is very real! Especially, with my compromised immune system.

Anyway, I learned an easy way to paint stripes on my fingernails from Pinterest. First, I painted my nails gold. After that dried, I cut thin strips of tape and placed the tape strips on my thumb nail. Once the tape was on, I painted black over my entire nail and tape strips. I pealed off the tape strips and revealed this:

Go Knights

 

 



I can't wait to try this technique with red and white polish to get a candy cane look. This was a surprisingly successful Pinterest project.

Six Hour Nap

Immediately after dinner on Thursday night, I got a sharp, stabbing pain in my stomach. I was hopeful that I'd be able to poop the pain away. However, none of the nine bowel movements I had during the twelve hours following dinner settled the pain. Pain and bathroom trips interrupted my sleep, but I still went to work Friday morning. It was obvious I was suffering. At work, we have a project we have to finish early next week, so I wanted to complete a few stacks of files on my desk before leaving early to deal with the pain that was continuing to torment me. I went home at lunchtime and dealt with the pain by taking a six hour nap.

By the time I woke up, it was dinner time. I ate some soup and that was the first thing  I'd eaten all day. The soup triggered my bowels again. In two days, I've lost about 6 lbs. I'm down to 144, which is on the opposite side of 150 than I want to be at. I'm sure most of it is water weight because I know I'm dehydrated. Today, I'm sore and I feel okay, but I haven't eaten anything yet.

Awesome Movie Alert - Interstellar was Super Stellar!

I saw the movie Interstellar with Gabriel last night. Keep in mind, I have a soft spot for sci-fi, so I'm not a very though critic. I absolutely loved every minute of the film. The characters were dynamic, engaging, and genuine. The stakes were high: Earth's resources were scarce and humans were in search of a new habitable planet. What made it cool for me: they hijacked a drone, traveled through a wormhole, one hour on one of the planets in another galaxy was equivalent to 7 to 10 years on Earth, by the end of the movie the dad was younger than his kids, their spaceship surfed a wicked wave, huge ice formations floated as clouds, groovy robots assisted the mission, travel through a black hole led to a world of five or so dimensions, survival and loved ones are powerful forces, emotional decisions can either save you or kill you, and finally the visual effects were gratifyingly phenomenal! Interstellar was super stellar!

5 Things I Can't Handle

1. Bare feet. Please, put some shoes or socks on.
2. Real life gore. I do not want to see your broken bone, bloody knee, or nasty bruise.
3. Cucumbers. Eww!!! I'd rather eat ants.
4. Pets. After losing my beloved cat, I get annoyed with pets and people with their pets. I know, this makes me a horrible person.
5. People on temporary diets. Make a lifestyle change. A temporary diet will be a temporary solution. 

Coverage for Cimzia is Denied... Or Is It?

Monday, November 2nd, 2014 my gastro nurse faxed a prior authorization form to my specialty pharmacy for insurance to review.

Friday, November 6th, 2014 my insurance was "unable to approve [my] physician's request for coverage of CIMZIA. The request did not meet the conditions necessary for coverage for the following reason(s)."

"The request for coverage for Cimzia is denied. This decision is based on health plan criteria for Cimzia. This medicine is covered if you meet the following criteria: You have positive clinical response to Cimzia therapy. The information sent in does not show you meet these criteria."

I quoted the above from a letter I received from my insurance. The letter also included a page of information and guidelines about the appeals process.

Sunday, November 9th, 2014, I reached out to a Team Challenge mentor, Tom, for advice on this situation. Tom let me speak to his badass wife, Liz, because she's the one that has handled a few of these situations for their son with Crohn's disease. Before speaking with Liz I felt hopeless and lost because I really didn't know what I should do. Liz advised me to contact insurance first and get a specific answer as to why they decided to deny coverage. Liz also counselled me to inquire about what I can do to regain coverage without having to go through the appeals process. She told me to stand firm and not to take no for an answer. She then instructed me to call her back if my call to insurance doesn't find a solution. By the end of our conversation, Liz had calmed my nerves about the situation. It was nice to know that I have someone on my team with experience coaching me to win this enduring struggle with insurance.

Today, November 10th, 2014, I contacted insurance. It took five minutes convincing the automated robot to let me speak to a human before I actually got a human on the line. The human's name was Craig. The following is paraphrased after Craig confirmed who I was and my insurance plan:

Me: I'm calling to find out why coverge of my Cimzia medication was denied.

Craig: It looks like we won't cover the brand name Cimzia, but we will cover the generic brand Certolizumab Pegol.

Me: Cimzia does not have a generic brand. I have been taking Cimzia for the past two years, which you guys have covered for the past two years. Why the sudden change in coverage?

In the meantime I'm googling "Certolizmab Pegol" to figure out where he is getting this name from because I know for a fact that there is no generic brand of Cimzia and the first hit on Google takes me to http://www.cimzia.com/. I conclude that Certolizmab Pegol is the clinical or scientific name for the medication Cimzia, which my gasto nurse confirms later in the day.

Craig: We have not ever covered Cimzia. We have covered the generic Certolizumab Pegol.

A photo of my Cimzia medication they have been covering for two years. You can see in parenthesis under Cimzia the Certolizumab Pegol name.

Me: Certolizumab Pegol is Cimzia.

Craig: No, we will not cover Cimzia.

At this point you can imagine my confusion.

Me: Okay, so do I get approved for this so called generic?

Craig: Have your doctor send another prior authorization for the generic or have your doctor contact us at an 1-800 #.

Me: So, if my doctor sends you guys a prior authorization for Certolizumab Pegol, it will be approved?

Craig: Yes.

Me: Okay, so you won't approve Cimzia, but you'll approve Certolizumab Pegol, which is the same thing as Cimzia?

Craig: It's the generic brand of Cimzia.

This ended my conversation with Craig, the dumb human voice of the insurance company.


I followed my call with Craig with a call to my gastro nurse, Osmarie. She explained that the prior authorization paper work she got to fill out had check boxes with Humira, Cimzia, or Remicade (these medications do not have a generic form. They are too new and too complex). It just prompted her to check a box, so she checked the Cimzia box. There wasn't even a space on the paperwork for her to write in Certolizumab Pegol, so she called the 1-800 # I gave her. Within the hour she got the confirmation that insurance approved Certolizumab Pegol. Osmarie told me that is just the clinical name for Cimzia and that there is no generic brand for Cimzia.


This whole ordeal has left me dumbfounded. Insurance makes me cry, shake my head, and smile at their stupidity. My medication has been approved! I call it Cimzia. Insurance calls it Certolizumab Pegol. Just don't tell them that Certolizumab Pegol is Cimzia, or they might decide not to cover it. It will be delivered just in time for my scheduled November injections.

Hypothetically...

I frequently talk about running, training and race day strategy with my sister, Kim. Yes, we're already planning our half marathon at the end of the month. Today's discussion convinced me that I could PR at one of my upcoming half marathons and possibly even PR at the Disney marathon. Yes, there are two huge assumptions: I will stay healthy until after the marathon and I will stick to training without falling behind.  I ran 4 miles today without intervals at a 10:10 minute per mile pace. I ran 40 minutes straight with only one stop for water! Yeah, folks, I'm back!!!  I took it easy and I felt great during and after my run. The secret to obtain a personal record is for me to eliminate intervals on my long runs. If I successfully train for the rest of the month without intervals, I think I will have an opportunity to PR at either the Space Coast half or the OUC half marathon. Although I'm not certain, I think my best half time is 2 hours and 22 minutes. If I can continue to run my long runs of 13 + miles without intervals after my half marathons, I might just PR at the marathon in January. My best marathon time is 5 hours and 35 minutes. I know it's a long shot, but I think it's still possible. It's easy to see my potential when I feel well. My plan is to train for a PR, but my overall goal is still just to finish the marathon.

A Letter To Myself

Dear my older self,

If you're reading this, you're older than you were before. I hope you haven't turned into a boring adult. Dance when you feel like it and sing even if you still can't sing very well. Practice and sharpen your wit until it's as quick as it used to be. Check in with your friends and family more often. When others say they're happy, believe them. Make time for hobbies. Continue to challenge yourself.  Don't put up with bullshit from anyone. Stand up for yourself. Strive to be as independent as possible. Know when to ask for help and know when to let others take care of you. Give sincere complements. You are so much more than what you let people see. Dare to open up and let trustworthy people in.  You've got a heart of gold... don't hide it. Have the courage to fall in love. Have the heroism to confront and cut ties to unhealthy relationships. You are your own hero. You have the power to inspire and motivate others, use it. Allow your pain to increase your empathy. Don't let your health define you no matter how fatal it feels. You would be beautiful even if you were bald with no teeth and had bad skin. You would be beautiful even if you had to poop in a bag and eat through a feeding tube.  Be skeptical of society. Don't break your neck to keep up with the latest trends. Set your own trend.

Love yourself!

I'm Taking My Positivity Back

I'm taking some of my positivity back. My pharmacy didn't follow through with my doctor's office, so they aren't really helping me communicate any. My gastro's assistant didn't fax the prior authorization form to the pharmacy like she said she would, or at least the pharmacy didn't get it. So, the insurance still hasn't gotten the prior authorization from the doctor either and I still don't know if this month's dose of Cimzia, which I'm supposed to inject on the 13th, will be covered by insurance or not. 

There has to be a better way for doctors, pharmacies, and insurance companies to communicate on behalf of their customers. Would other patients hire me to be their advocate, get things done, and keep track of who is slacking on their behalf? I would totally pay someone a monthly fee to handle these kind of issues, keep me updated, and most importantly to make sure things are getting done in a timely manner. It's so annoying and stressful.

10 Good Things

I decided to put some positivity out into the world with a list of 10 good things in my life right now. In no particular order...

1. I pooped! (I even trusted a fart)
2. My period just ended!
3. I'm passing all of my classes!
4. I just ran two miles at a 9 minute and 40 second pace!
5. My gastroenterologist got a new assistant and she was amazingly helpful today! I wanted to hug her!
6. My specialty pharmacy (Optum Rx) is helping me communicate with my doctor and insurance to figure out if Cimzia will still be covered. It lifts a huge burden off my shoulders.
7. I feel so well that I did a happy dance this morning in front of the mirror!
8. My teeth are slowly starting to look better, so I'm smiling more freely again.
9. I'm not sick!
10. I am loved!

My Appraisal Project is Complete

I've been slowly working on this appraisal project every week since the beginning of the semester. We're approaching week number 12 of the semester. Today, everything finally came together. Granted it took me about 12 hours today to complete the report. For me, installing and learning the new computer software to type my report into took most of my time. The next most time consuming part of it was making value adjustments for the three comparable properties compared to my subject property. With each adjustment, I had to explain the reasoning behind my adjustment.  After finishing my appraisal report, I gathered everything I needed for the report folder, including general and specific data. I hope the countless hours that I put into this project pays off because it's worth 20% of my overall grade in this class. My unprofessional and un-licensed opinion of value of my grandma's 50 year old house is $172,000.  I used the sales-comparison approach to come to that value.

Although I hated working on the project because it was so time consuming, I'm glad that I can now look at an appraisal and understand where all of the values come from. It should come in handy in the future when I own my own house. Yeah, I actually learned real-life, useful information. That doesn't happen very often.

Tomorrow, I've earned a complete day off from school and work. I plan to sleep in, clean, run, write, draw, watch Netflix, and maybe even go to a movie if I don't nap for too long. I'm going to enjoy it because my next day off won't be until after finals on December 9th.