Last week, I had a chest x-ray scheduled on Tuesday. When the nurse checked my vitals, she informed me that my doc was going to be sending me to an imaging center to get my chest x-rayed so that a radiologist could view the images and conclude the findings. We decided to do the other pre-op clearance stuff instead. I had eaten prior to my appointment that morning, so we couldn't do the required pre-op lab work. At least we were able to do the EKG. For the EKG, my pants stayed on! It was a nice change from most appointments. My doc couldn't retrieve the EKG results while I was there because their system was down. According to my doc, my blood pressure is equivalent to blood pressure of fourteen year olds (amazing!). He also raved about how happy he is to see me weigh in at 160lbs! 160lbs feels awesome to me, too! Of the many things I'm worried about post-surgery, weight loss is one of them. Right now, I feel strong physically as well as mentally. In the past, losing weight had a way of fucking up that strength for me.
On Wednesday, I met my friend, Brittany, for breakfast in Clermont prior to my cystoscopy appointment with my urologist. I stand corrected, Clermont is neither podunk, nor bumfuck (lol that correction is for you, Britt). It was great to catch up with her at breakfast and be distracted from my forthcoming doctor appointment. We arrived at my appointment at 9:30am so that I could get a shot of antibiotics an hour before the procedure at 10:30am. Britt waited in the waiting room while I went in the back. As my nurse mixed the antibiotics in a syringe with some kind of numbing agent, I let her know that my friend would be coming back with me for the procedure. My nurse seemed concerned and wanted me to make sure my friend knew that I would be exposed (umm, how else are you going to stick a scope up my urethra?) Once she was done shaking the syringe, I rolled up my shirt sleeve. To my surprise, she said, "I have to give this to you in your buttock". So, I dropped my pants and underwear. Apparently, it's painful and the butt check offers the biggest muscle to inject it into. I smiled and laughed to myself as I walked back out to the waiting room to join Brittany. I let her know what happened. My ass cannot catch a break!
Before I got into position, the nurse said it won't hurt and would only take two minutes. Soon enough, I found myself sitting on the exam table with my feet in the stirrups and nothing but a modesty paper covering me below the waist. The nurse rubbed me with something to numb the subject area. I can only describe what I felt next as a shot in my pee hole! WHAT THE FUCK! I do not know what caused that pain (was it a needle to numb me further or something else like a clamp to hold my urethra in position?). I didn't ask either. Just thinking about it again makes me short of breath. Brittany let me hold her hand and I know her presence helped me endure the craziness of a cystoscopy. The nurse told me not to get off the table while she went to get the doctor (haha). Once the doctor put the scope in me, we were able to see my bladder on the screen. They pumped sterile water into my bladder. There was notable abnormal inflammation and lines he said indicate that I strain to urinate (I don't think I do). We did not find the fistula. The scope was super uncomfortable and he let it drop out when they stopped pumping the water, so then he re-inserted it back in which seemed awkward. Normally, I don't seek company at my appointments, but this is one I am fortunate Brittany was there to help me through it! Thank you, Britt!!!
This week I will finish all of my pre-op testing on Tuesday by getting lab work, a chest x-ray and a cystogram. Hopefully, a cystogram will be nothing compared to a cystoscopy. After that, the only appointments left before surgery are my call with a Cleveland Clinic pre-op nurse on November 22nd and my stoma marking appointment at the Cleveland Clinic on November 28th.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
T-Minus Three Weeks!!
I'm still processing my cystoscopy experience this morning, so I'm going to save that post for next time and post about running and recovery instead. I plan to run four more times before surgery (November 11th, 18th, 21st and 26th). These last few runs will be treasured. I will take note of the strength my body possesses to power forward. My opportunities to run before surgery are numbered and the inevitable break-up is fast approaching. Surgery is three weeks away!
Despite all of my excuses, running charms me and casts a magical spell over my mentality. I think the fact that I keep showing up to run while I'm facing bowel resection explains it well. One of the benefits of the spell is having the fortitude necessary to handle this shit storm better than I thought I would. I will not take these last few runs before surgery for granted. I will let each run remind me that I am more incredible than I give myself credit for.
The thought of recovery being hellish scares me. If I struggle during recovery, I am going to read this paragraph. I am determined to recover successfully! In order to have a successful recovery, I will follow the doctor's orders as reasonably required, fight through the pain, take naps, and accept the results of the surgery as my new "normal" no matter what. I will allow myself a healthy amount of time to mourn my old "normal". I will ask for help when I need it. I will not give up. I will attempt to get other aspects of my life back to the state they were in during the months before surgery. I will not intentionally shut people out. I will be brave enough to be somebody's role model. How's that for commitment for you?
Despite all of my excuses, running charms me and casts a magical spell over my mentality. I think the fact that I keep showing up to run while I'm facing bowel resection explains it well. One of the benefits of the spell is having the fortitude necessary to handle this shit storm better than I thought I would. I will not take these last few runs before surgery for granted. I will let each run remind me that I am more incredible than I give myself credit for.
The thought of recovery being hellish scares me. If I struggle during recovery, I am going to read this paragraph. I am determined to recover successfully! In order to have a successful recovery, I will follow the doctor's orders as reasonably required, fight through the pain, take naps, and accept the results of the surgery as my new "normal" no matter what. I will allow myself a healthy amount of time to mourn my old "normal". I will ask for help when I need it. I will not give up. I will attempt to get other aspects of my life back to the state they were in during the months before surgery. I will not intentionally shut people out. I will be brave enough to be somebody's role model. How's that for commitment for you?
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
2017 Wine and Dine Weekend
I joined three other running divas for a weekend at Disney's Wine and Dine 10k and half marathon (19.3 miles). We met at Epcot around 4AM on Saturday to take a bus to the Magic Kingdom parking lot for the start of the 10K. Badass Doreen made us coordinating costumes for each race. For the 10k, we represented different countries in Epcot (America, Germany, Italy, and Mexico). The 6.2 miles flew by as we chatted, told stories about being drunk, enjoyed the on-course entertainment, and posed for pictures!
After the 10k, we went straight to Animal Kingdom to explore Pandora - The World of Avatar! The Avatar Flight of Passage ride was out of this world! It felt like I was actually riding a Banshee! The effects were super cool. It's like as a futuristic version of Soarin' only you're on a Banshee in Pandora. We rode other rides and took advantage of photo-ops with characters. By 4:45PM we went to get our cars at Epcot before checking into the hotel.
The shower at the hotel was amazing! I started a pillow fight and jumped on all three beds (its my hotel tradition). Two of the divas went on a two hour adventure to pick-up dinner. I took a nap while they were on their adventure. Once they returned, we ate dinner and had a funny conversation about their dinner adventure among other topics that exhausted runners find amusing(basically everything was funny at this point). After dinner, we went to bed.
On Sunday, we caught the bus from our hotel at 4AM to the Magic Kingdom parking lot for the start of the half marathon. Our costume theme was Beauty and the Beast (Beast, Belle, Gaston, and Lumiere). The fellow runners and volunteers loved our ensemble! I video called my sister, Kim, and we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. I also video called Taylor, which was fun even though I woke her up (sorry, Taylor). I got into character as Gaston and boasted about my charm, beauty, and muscles throughout the race. I was arrogant and narcissistic! Whenever anyone cheered, I acted as if they only came to the race to cheer me on. It was a blast! We focused on having fun and stopped for photos along the course. Another running diva was handing out cold towels at the finish line, so we found her and took a selfie together! After her volunteer shift, we all went to lunch.
Most of us took a nap after lunch to rest up for the after party at Epcot Sunday night. We washed our outfits so that we could wear them to the after party. The running divas even made doing laundry fun! Cindy and I explored the hotel. We played ping-pong, went down slides, enjoyed a bedtime story, and learned how to draw Nemo. The after party started at 8PM and ended at 1AM. We entered Epcot around 8:30pm and we left around 1:15PM. We rode rides, ate and drank at the food and wine festival vendors, and took advantage of more photo-ops with characters. In one of the lines, a guy was excited to see Belle (Cindy), until he saw Gaston (me) and then he wanted nothing to do with Belle. He asked me if we could take a picture together and inquired if I could flex for the photo. He handed Belle his phone and before Belle took our picture, he felt my muscle. I told him it was real! lol After taking our picture, Belle proceeded to take a selfie of her and the Beast. It was absolutely hilarious!
By the time we got back to the hotel early Monday morning, it was almost 2AM. Despite not feeling my best, I kept up with the divas all weekend! I experienced stomach pain this weekend. I gave vague answers when I was asked how I was feeling. My plan was not to acknowledge the pain. The pain wasn't constant. However, when it hit me, it took effort not to hunch over, moan from the torment, and wrap my arms around my belly until it went away. Speaking of pain, the bottom of my left foot also hurt. Was it really hurting though, or was it ghost pain? Whether real or not, pain probably slowed me down a little, but it didn't stop me (story of my life). this weekend was the break from reality I needed! I laughed so much that my face cheeks hurt, too!
After the 10k, we went straight to Animal Kingdom to explore Pandora - The World of Avatar! The Avatar Flight of Passage ride was out of this world! It felt like I was actually riding a Banshee! The effects were super cool. It's like as a futuristic version of Soarin' only you're on a Banshee in Pandora. We rode other rides and took advantage of photo-ops with characters. By 4:45PM we went to get our cars at Epcot before checking into the hotel.
The shower at the hotel was amazing! I started a pillow fight and jumped on all three beds (its my hotel tradition). Two of the divas went on a two hour adventure to pick-up dinner. I took a nap while they were on their adventure. Once they returned, we ate dinner and had a funny conversation about their dinner adventure among other topics that exhausted runners find amusing(basically everything was funny at this point). After dinner, we went to bed.
On Sunday, we caught the bus from our hotel at 4AM to the Magic Kingdom parking lot for the start of the half marathon. Our costume theme was Beauty and the Beast (Beast, Belle, Gaston, and Lumiere). The fellow runners and volunteers loved our ensemble! I video called my sister, Kim, and we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. I also video called Taylor, which was fun even though I woke her up (sorry, Taylor). I got into character as Gaston and boasted about my charm, beauty, and muscles throughout the race. I was arrogant and narcissistic! Whenever anyone cheered, I acted as if they only came to the race to cheer me on. It was a blast! We focused on having fun and stopped for photos along the course. Another running diva was handing out cold towels at the finish line, so we found her and took a selfie together! After her volunteer shift, we all went to lunch.
Most of us took a nap after lunch to rest up for the after party at Epcot Sunday night. We washed our outfits so that we could wear them to the after party. The running divas even made doing laundry fun! Cindy and I explored the hotel. We played ping-pong, went down slides, enjoyed a bedtime story, and learned how to draw Nemo. The after party started at 8PM and ended at 1AM. We entered Epcot around 8:30pm and we left around 1:15PM. We rode rides, ate and drank at the food and wine festival vendors, and took advantage of more photo-ops with characters. In one of the lines, a guy was excited to see Belle (Cindy), until he saw Gaston (me) and then he wanted nothing to do with Belle. He asked me if we could take a picture together and inquired if I could flex for the photo. He handed Belle his phone and before Belle took our picture, he felt my muscle. I told him it was real! lol After taking our picture, Belle proceeded to take a selfie of her and the Beast. It was absolutely hilarious!
By the time we got back to the hotel early Monday morning, it was almost 2AM. Despite not feeling my best, I kept up with the divas all weekend! I experienced stomach pain this weekend. I gave vague answers when I was asked how I was feeling. My plan was not to acknowledge the pain. The pain wasn't constant. However, when it hit me, it took effort not to hunch over, moan from the torment, and wrap my arms around my belly until it went away. Speaking of pain, the bottom of my left foot also hurt. Was it really hurting though, or was it ghost pain? Whether real or not, pain probably slowed me down a little, but it didn't stop me (story of my life). this weekend was the break from reality I needed! I laughed so much that my face cheeks hurt, too!
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
A Seemingly Qualified Urologist
I had my new patient appointment with a urologist today. When the nice nurse lady asked why I was there, I explained I was there to schedule pre-op tests ordered by my colorectal surgeon. The doctor didn't try to offer a different course of treatment, he accepted the pre-determined course and asked if he could call my surgeon to verify exactly what images/results we are looking to take away from the tests. My urologist used his cell phone to call my surgeon on the spot. After he left a message for my surgeon, he explained that he prefers calling to get answers rather than e-mailing or writing letters. I went into the appointment thinking I was going to some podunk urologist in Clermont, but at this point I was seriously impressed and thrilled to have found a seemingly qualified urologist.
We discussed the two tests (cystoscopy and cystogram) I was there to schedule. Both tests put me at risk of getting blood infections due to the colovesical fistula. He mentioned that he and every urologist in the country would not perform the tests without putting me on antibiotics to reduce the risk of infection. I voiced my uncertainty about being allowed to take antibiotics this close to surgery. I countered that if the risks are pretty high, should we even consider moving forward with the tests. Blood infections are nothing to take lightly. Once my uncle got a blood infection, it ruined his chances at surviving what ailed him before getting the infection (he died). My doc assertively recalled that I work in risk management, and said the risk should be analyzed. Without antibiotics, the risk of getting a blood infection is about 40%; whereas with antibiotics, the risk is only about 5%. When my surgeon calls him back, he will confirm that it's okay for me to be on antibiotics. I also called the Cleveland Clinic and they confirmed that I can take the antibiotics my urologist prescribes.
The best part about the whole appointment was that I only had to drop my pants to pee in a cup! It made me wonder why gastros and colorectals don't collect stool samples at every visit.
We discussed the two tests (cystoscopy and cystogram) I was there to schedule. Both tests put me at risk of getting blood infections due to the colovesical fistula. He mentioned that he and every urologist in the country would not perform the tests without putting me on antibiotics to reduce the risk of infection. I voiced my uncertainty about being allowed to take antibiotics this close to surgery. I countered that if the risks are pretty high, should we even consider moving forward with the tests. Blood infections are nothing to take lightly. Once my uncle got a blood infection, it ruined his chances at surviving what ailed him before getting the infection (he died). My doc assertively recalled that I work in risk management, and said the risk should be analyzed. Without antibiotics, the risk of getting a blood infection is about 40%; whereas with antibiotics, the risk is only about 5%. When my surgeon calls him back, he will confirm that it's okay for me to be on antibiotics. I also called the Cleveland Clinic and they confirmed that I can take the antibiotics my urologist prescribes.
- My cystoscopy is scheduled for Wednesday, November 8th. I have to arrive at 9:30am to receive a shot of antibiotics and the procedure will start at 10:30am.
- I have to call SimonMed or an Orlando Health radiology facility to schedule my cystogram. I've already picked up antibiotics from the pharmacy and will take them the day before, the day of, and the day after my procedure.
The best part about the whole appointment was that I only had to drop my pants to pee in a cup! It made me wonder why gastros and colorectals don't collect stool samples at every visit.
Monday, October 30, 2017
Apparently, We Need Some Time Apart
My new gastro as well as my new surgeon ordered me to stop Remicade to allow time for the Remicade levels to decrease in my body before surgery. The reason for stopping it is because Remicade weakens my immune system and the doctors said it would slow down the healing process. I was supposed to have my next Remicade infusion on October 31, 2017. Even though I won't likely experience a literal withdraw from missing my regularly scheduled dose, I'm freaking out a little. They have taken away the one thing that helped me have pain free days, formed stool, control of my bottom end pipes, and regular bowel movements. Imagine my concern over the fact that I will not be getting my medicine and my stomach and bowel movements have not gotten back to how they were before my colonoscopy last week. The drug was designed to intentionally weaken my immune system because my immune system is fucked up when left alone. Without Remicade, I'm worried my immune system will fuck up the current state of my health before surgery.
No matter how poorly surgery goes or how many complications I experience due to surgery, I don't think I will regret the decision to have surgery. How could I allow myself to regret the only solution that was presented to me by multiple doctors? The choice I may regret would be the decision to stop Remicade at my new doctors' request. I could make one phone call tomorrow and go back to my old gastro. His nurse would give me Remicade in heartbeat. I would like to maintain my current health for four more weeks, which would just about get me to surgery day. I would also like my body not to build antibodies towards Remicade while I'm off the medication.
Remicade, it's not you, it's my doctors. You gave me better health than I experienced in over a decade. Apparently, we need some time apart though. Thank you for the amazing days you gave me! I really hope you'll wait for me until after surgery because I don't want to say goodbye forever. I just have to say goodbye right now.
No matter how poorly surgery goes or how many complications I experience due to surgery, I don't think I will regret the decision to have surgery. How could I allow myself to regret the only solution that was presented to me by multiple doctors? The choice I may regret would be the decision to stop Remicade at my new doctors' request. I could make one phone call tomorrow and go back to my old gastro. His nurse would give me Remicade in heartbeat. I would like to maintain my current health for four more weeks, which would just about get me to surgery day. I would also like my body not to build antibodies towards Remicade while I'm off the medication.
Remicade, it's not you, it's my doctors. You gave me better health than I experienced in over a decade. Apparently, we need some time apart though. Thank you for the amazing days you gave me! I really hope you'll wait for me until after surgery because I don't want to say goodbye forever. I just have to say goodbye right now.
Sunday, October 29, 2017
One Month Away
Bowel resection surgery is one month away from today! It's getting harder and harder to stop thinking about it. I am amazed by the support of everyone around me! They have every angle covered! One of my Team Challenge friends is going to give me some supplies so that I can test run the pouch and wafer before surgery in order to prepare for a possible ostomy. My supervisor, co-workers, and HR department have almost eliminated the stress I had about potentially missing up to eight weeks of work. I couldn't ask for a better team at work! My supervisor is extremely understanding and tells me that my health comes before work. My cube neighbor even sat me down to inquire how I was handling it. She let me know that the people around me at work care and she volunteered to carry the weight of my shit if it gets too heavy or if I need a break from acting like everything is okay(Please don't ruin my performance. It's as much for me as it is for you.). My best friend has my back every step of the way and will be taking off work to be with me in the hospital. My Running Divas are with me through this, too. I've only known most of these ladies for about a year and others less, yet they show their incredible support through genuine acts of friendship. They're encouraging and offer valuable insight. One pledged to take the money we are going to be reimbursing her for for making our running costumes and donate it to Crohn's disease research. They offer comedic relief! They have a caring scale that is off the charts. One has taken it upon herself to be my big sister. My Team Challenge friends from south Florida have already asked if they can visit me in the hospital, and I approved. My mom will be with me the whole time and my dad will be with me most of the time, too. Two of my sisters will be with me when I return home after surgery and one of my sisters will fly into town three weeks after my surgery. Other friends and family have voiced their support and let me know they are here for me as well!
How did I get lucky enough to have all of these people in my life? I am overwhelmed by everyone's support! I didn't expect it. Yes, I tend to underestimate relationships. I'm not sure I deserve these awesome people in my life because I'm not sure I'd be that great of a friend if I was in their shoes. I don't like being held accountable for others' expectations, so I try not to put expectations on others. To give my lack of expectation more perspective, I'll tell you what happened today when I expected something. I ran a two miler and five miler today. My mom, dad, and Kelly walked the two miler, but I ran with a Running Diva because I had to finish in time to start the five miler. The five miler started before they finished the two miler. My family rarely goes to my races let alone enters to race. As I was approaching the five mile finish line I searched the crowd for my family. They weren't there. They weren't there because they went back to sit in the car to wait for me when they were done rather than cheer me on. Perhaps it's my fault I was disappointed because I didn't ask them to cheer me on at the finish line. Little things like that are why I try not to have expectations and it's also why the amount of support I'm receiving feels a little strange to me...like I'm not entirely certain what to do with it. I am more grateful for it than I can put into words though!!! One day I'll get better at showing my appreciation. Saying "thank you" doesn't seem like enough!!
How did I get lucky enough to have all of these people in my life? I am overwhelmed by everyone's support! I didn't expect it. Yes, I tend to underestimate relationships. I'm not sure I deserve these awesome people in my life because I'm not sure I'd be that great of a friend if I was in their shoes. I don't like being held accountable for others' expectations, so I try not to put expectations on others. To give my lack of expectation more perspective, I'll tell you what happened today when I expected something. I ran a two miler and five miler today. My mom, dad, and Kelly walked the two miler, but I ran with a Running Diva because I had to finish in time to start the five miler. The five miler started before they finished the two miler. My family rarely goes to my races let alone enters to race. As I was approaching the five mile finish line I searched the crowd for my family. They weren't there. They weren't there because they went back to sit in the car to wait for me when they were done rather than cheer me on. Perhaps it's my fault I was disappointed because I didn't ask them to cheer me on at the finish line. Little things like that are why I try not to have expectations and it's also why the amount of support I'm receiving feels a little strange to me...like I'm not entirely certain what to do with it. I am more grateful for it than I can put into words though!!! One day I'll get better at showing my appreciation. Saying "thank you" doesn't seem like enough!!
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
A Colonoscopy and a Fistula Sighting!
My colonoscopy was originally scheduled for Tuesday, October 24th. After being on a clear liquid diet and drinking a gallon of prescription laxatives (GoLytely) on the 23rd, my bowels were not cleaned out. I only pooped a handful of times. My doc had me go in to see if they could proceed with the colonoscopy. We couldn't do the colonoscopy, so we rescheduled for today, the 25th. They sent me home with a different laxative (Prepopkit) that I did yesterday, the 24th. The prep still didn't clean me out like it should have, but they decided to proceed with the colonoscopy today anyway.
The first prep, the gallon from Hell, made me nauseous, yet somehow I managed to only vomit once throughout the course of the night. Even when I mixed it with Crystal Light, it was still absolutely disgusting. It was supposed to make me shit my brains out, but I only had about 4 or 5 bowel movements. None of which broke the water line. It was supposed to make me have three watery and clear bowel movements. It only turned my turds into what I call dip n dots (my nurse calls them rabbit turds). My poop was still formed, still brown, and still not falling out of my ass at the correct rate. My belly felt bloated and sore.
The second prep was a lot easier. I drank one 5oz. shot of laxatives at 5PM and another 5oz. shot of laxatives at 10:30PM. Before, during, and after, I guzzled lots of water. This one gave me a lot of gas and gas cramps. I had about 8 bowel movements, but each of them contained very little stool. The dip n dots lost a little form with each movement. My poop was still very brown and still not falling out of my ass at the correct rate. When I woke up this morning, my stomach was in knots. By this point, the last time I had solid food was on Sunday. I was hungry, irritable, and frustrated.
When I had my colonoscopy in 2012, I remember that I was not a very nice patient. I was also younger, weaker, and sicker back then. Not being able to pee in cup was a huge issue before my colonoscopy in 2012. I yelled at my nurse in 2012 about not having to go. This time around, my nurse gave me the option to sign a waiver as soon as she took me back stating I wasn't pregnant in lieu of peeing in a cup! It was a huge relief! Another issue in 2012 was that I yelled at my nurse when she couldn't start my IV. When my nurse could not start my IV today, I did not yell at her. I politely asked if there was someone else that could try. Diego, a fit, Hawaiian suffer looking nurse came to start my IV. He got it on his first try! Later, Kelly and I laughed about the fact that I remembered his name, but I didn't remember the name of the nurse that failed to start my IV (her name was Carol, btw). My hand still fucking hurts where she missed my vein.
I have come a long way since 2012. I did not yell at anyone today. I did not curse at anyone today. I think I am mentally and physically stronger than I was in 2012. Sure, the double prep wasn't any fun, but I managed not to lose my temper. Despite my strictures, fistula, and my upcoming bowel resection surgery, I think I am healthier today than I was back then! It's weird, but that's how well I feel compared to how I've felt in the past.
Our theory as to why the prep didn't work properly is that stool could not pass through one of my strictures, so it was being retained at that point. My doc was able to get the scope through my first stricture in my rectosigmoid junction. However, above the first stricture, my doc encountered an inflamed sigmoid area that would not allow the scope to pass. This is where my second stricture is located. A small fistula was seen in this area. Yes, we finally had a visual of the fistula! We even got a picture of it! My doc changed to a smaller scope, but it still could not pass without risking further intestinal damage. The colonoscopy was aborted at that point. (My old gastro also had to abort my colonoscopy in 2012 because he could not pass the second strictured area either.) Biopsies were taken and the results will be sent to my surgeon. My gastro mentioned that he did not see any active disease!!! This is huge in confirming that I really have been feeling well aside from the other issues. The strictures appear to be scar tissue.
I feel like shit, but I'm glad this part of my pre-op do-to list is behind me!
The first prep, the gallon from Hell, made me nauseous, yet somehow I managed to only vomit once throughout the course of the night. Even when I mixed it with Crystal Light, it was still absolutely disgusting. It was supposed to make me shit my brains out, but I only had about 4 or 5 bowel movements. None of which broke the water line. It was supposed to make me have three watery and clear bowel movements. It only turned my turds into what I call dip n dots (my nurse calls them rabbit turds). My poop was still formed, still brown, and still not falling out of my ass at the correct rate. My belly felt bloated and sore.
The second prep was a lot easier. I drank one 5oz. shot of laxatives at 5PM and another 5oz. shot of laxatives at 10:30PM. Before, during, and after, I guzzled lots of water. This one gave me a lot of gas and gas cramps. I had about 8 bowel movements, but each of them contained very little stool. The dip n dots lost a little form with each movement. My poop was still very brown and still not falling out of my ass at the correct rate. When I woke up this morning, my stomach was in knots. By this point, the last time I had solid food was on Sunday. I was hungry, irritable, and frustrated.
When I had my colonoscopy in 2012, I remember that I was not a very nice patient. I was also younger, weaker, and sicker back then. Not being able to pee in cup was a huge issue before my colonoscopy in 2012. I yelled at my nurse in 2012 about not having to go. This time around, my nurse gave me the option to sign a waiver as soon as she took me back stating I wasn't pregnant in lieu of peeing in a cup! It was a huge relief! Another issue in 2012 was that I yelled at my nurse when she couldn't start my IV. When my nurse could not start my IV today, I did not yell at her. I politely asked if there was someone else that could try. Diego, a fit, Hawaiian suffer looking nurse came to start my IV. He got it on his first try! Later, Kelly and I laughed about the fact that I remembered his name, but I didn't remember the name of the nurse that failed to start my IV (her name was Carol, btw). My hand still fucking hurts where she missed my vein.
I have come a long way since 2012. I did not yell at anyone today. I did not curse at anyone today. I think I am mentally and physically stronger than I was in 2012. Sure, the double prep wasn't any fun, but I managed not to lose my temper. Despite my strictures, fistula, and my upcoming bowel resection surgery, I think I am healthier today than I was back then! It's weird, but that's how well I feel compared to how I've felt in the past.
Our theory as to why the prep didn't work properly is that stool could not pass through one of my strictures, so it was being retained at that point. My doc was able to get the scope through my first stricture in my rectosigmoid junction. However, above the first stricture, my doc encountered an inflamed sigmoid area that would not allow the scope to pass. This is where my second stricture is located. A small fistula was seen in this area. Yes, we finally had a visual of the fistula! We even got a picture of it! My doc changed to a smaller scope, but it still could not pass without risking further intestinal damage. The colonoscopy was aborted at that point. (My old gastro also had to abort my colonoscopy in 2012 because he could not pass the second strictured area either.) Biopsies were taken and the results will be sent to my surgeon. My gastro mentioned that he did not see any active disease!!! This is huge in confirming that I really have been feeling well aside from the other issues. The strictures appear to be scar tissue.
I feel like shit, but I'm glad this part of my pre-op do-to list is behind me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)