It has been three days since I ran the 5K on Saturday and I am still experiencing a runner's high. A bunch of women from my MarathonFest pace group ran the Lady Track Shack 5K. Prior to the start of the race, when we were discussing everyone's race strategy, I boldly confessed that I turned off the intervals on my watch. Yes, I planned to run the whole 5K without walking. No one else wanted to join me in my endeavor to run my ass off, so I left them in the dust as soon as I crossed the start line.
A few days before the race, I told my ugly stepsister that my unrealistic goal was a sub 28 minute 5K.
For the first mile, I wasted a lot of energy weaving in and out of the slower people. Thankfully, after the first mile, I was around runners maintaining a steady 8:45 per mile pace. Since I haven't been speed training my pace was all over the place, so I used the lady in front of me as a pacer.There was a water stop around the halfway point, but I decided to keep hauling ass instead of stopping for water. Right before I reached mile three, I was sucking wind trying to catch my breath from running faster than I've ran in years. I know I slowed down a little towards the end. Although as soon as I rounded the corner and saw the finish line I sprinted to cross the line! I finished in 27.42!!!! I ran the 5K about two to three minutes faster than most of the ladies in my pace group. I'm a little shocked that I actually ran a sub 28 minute 5K! I'm not sure what my 5K PR was, but I'm going to say this may have been the fastest 5K I've ran under my name. My average pace was 8:54 minutes per mile. I placed 171 out of 2,263 participants, which means I finished in the top ten percent! Imagine how much faster I could have ran the 5K if I trained for speed.
Even though I love my pace group, I think it's time to start pushing the pace outside of my comfort zone. I plan to dabble in a faster pace group this MarathonFest session. I ran one mile tonight in 8 minutes and 20 seconds. I think I could have ran faster if the cold weather didn't burn my lungs. The pace group I currently run with averages 10:30 - 11:30 minutes per mile. I know I can be fast, I just don't know how to train to maintain a consistent fast pace during longer runs. I would love to train for a sub 25 minute 5k, a sub 2 hour half marathon, a sub 4 hour marathon...or a BQ (Boston Qualifying time)!
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Friday, January 27, 2017
Life with Taylor!
A few weeks ago it was a very real possibility that my best friend could have been moving to North Carolina. Selfishly, I would have been devastated if that were the case. I was pretty vocal about my concerns for our friendship if more distance separated us. After all these years, commitment still scares the shit out of me. I'd rather run away than be responsible for keeping commitments. (This might just be my biggest character flaw.) Taylor will be getting married and starting a family soon...and the idea of lengthening the distance between us while she starts this next chapter of her life crushed me to the core. In my twisted brain though, I thought if she moved to N.C., it made sense to push her away. I couldn't promise to visit her in N.C. more than once a year. She'll soon have a husband and children, and I just assumed that she wouldn't have time for me anyway. Although she never said that.
I know my inability to properly commit to a longer distance friendship hurt Taylor. Taylor's mom nailed it when she said, "[Lauren] never wanted to work for it." Meaning, I haven't changed. I never wanted to work for our friendship. I never planned to commit to this. To my defense, I believe actions speak louder than words. I might not make verbal promises. If I do, I'll likely hesitate and try to withdraw from the situation (Again, it's a character flaw.). However, I don't think we can deny the fact that my actions throughout the years of our friendship say something else entirely. Through good times and bad, through happy days, and sad ones, through struggle and success, the fact that I've been there for Taylor should tell us all we need to know. Whether I intended to or not, and whether I admit it out loud or not, I've been committed to being Taylor's best friend for years. I never wanted to work for our friendship, but that doesn't mean I haven't worked my ass off to be the best friend I can be. I never planned to commit to this, but that doesn't mean I didn't dive in head first before I took swim lessons. The moment I jumped, I was all in!
I want us to be best friends until the end of time! How's that for communicating my commitment? Even though Taylor is moving to Central Florida tomorrow, it's not guaranteed she'll be here for long. It might be difficult for me to make promises, but I know no matter what I say, or don't say, our best friendship status isn't going to change. Whether she likes it or not, she's stuck with me and I can't wait to see what this next chapter has in store for her! My name is Lauren and Taylor is my best friend.
I know my inability to properly commit to a longer distance friendship hurt Taylor. Taylor's mom nailed it when she said, "[Lauren] never wanted to work for it." Meaning, I haven't changed. I never wanted to work for our friendship. I never planned to commit to this. To my defense, I believe actions speak louder than words. I might not make verbal promises. If I do, I'll likely hesitate and try to withdraw from the situation (Again, it's a character flaw.). However, I don't think we can deny the fact that my actions throughout the years of our friendship say something else entirely. Through good times and bad, through happy days, and sad ones, through struggle and success, the fact that I've been there for Taylor should tell us all we need to know. Whether I intended to or not, and whether I admit it out loud or not, I've been committed to being Taylor's best friend for years. I never wanted to work for our friendship, but that doesn't mean I haven't worked my ass off to be the best friend I can be. I never planned to commit to this, but that doesn't mean I didn't dive in head first before I took swim lessons. The moment I jumped, I was all in!
I want us to be best friends until the end of time! How's that for communicating my commitment? Even though Taylor is moving to Central Florida tomorrow, it's not guaranteed she'll be here for long. It might be difficult for me to make promises, but I know no matter what I say, or don't say, our best friendship status isn't going to change. Whether she likes it or not, she's stuck with me and I can't wait to see what this next chapter has in store for her! My name is Lauren and Taylor is my best friend.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Goodbye for Now, Uncle Don
Upon walking into the viewing yesterday, Grandma began weeping. While standing next to the open casket of her dead son she cried, "What am I going to do without you?" "I love you so much!" "How am I going to live without you?"
I lost it instantly (So much for my plan to be in control). I sobbed for Grandma's pain. Somehow I found myself next to Grandma supporting her, but there was no way I was going to regain my composure by the time the service started if I stayed with her. It was so bad that my dad asked me if I was going to be able to give the eulogy. I wasn't sure I would be able to do it, but I told him, "Yes."
Family, friends, and co-workers gave their condolences. My mom saved the day by taking my place next to Grandma so that I could collect myself. I went into the bathroom, took deep breaths, blew my runny nose, and wiped my eyes. I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself. I saw a young woman growing up much too quickly. It wasn't a kid looking back at me, it was an adult. I stopped crying and told myself, be their rock. They need you to be strong and to honor Don.
After I left the bathroom in control, I met with the pastor. He went over the service and told me when I would be introduced. My dad asked me not to look at him while I was speaking. Right before the service started, I placed my notes on the podium and I moved to the front row with my Uncle Mike, which was right in front of Grandma. The Pastor lead us in hymns, scripture, and prayer, and then he introduced me.
I walked up to the podium and looked out into the audience before I started speaking. There were at least 50 people in attendance. I introduced myself and thanked everyone for being there. After a short intro, I began telling family favorite memories we have of Don and I followed with my personal favorite stories I have of my Uncle. In all, there were 10 stories I told. I held it together until the end of my last story. "He truly believed in me and I'll never forget that." Although I didn't cry at this part, my voice cracked and I had to take a beat before finishing with the short conclusion.
To end, I looked over at the open casket three feet to my left and said, "Don, there is no doubt that you are loved and you will be missed dearly." I was holding it together until I heard my Uncle Mike in the front row catch his breath. I glanced up and that's when I lost it. I choked out "Keep Grandpa out of trouble in Heaven for us. Goodbye for now." I left the podium in tears and took my seat next to Uncle Mike. He gave my leg a reassuring squeeze. The pastor gave a final prayer and it was over.
Afterwards, a lot of people came up to me and said what a wonderful speech I gave and that Don would be proud. Others mentioned that they wouldn't have been able to do what I just did. I met two of Don's co-workers from Red Lobster. He worked there for 39 years and he worked with them for 19 of those years. They had really nice things to say about him and thought of him like a brother. The one brought a Red Lobster name tag with Don's name on it pinned to a rose and asked if she could put with him in the casket. I nodded my approval.
In the car ride to graveside, my Grandma asked me if she could have a copy of my speech. I gave her the notes I read off of. The next day (today), when Kim was visiting my Grandma, Kim said that Grandma told her that it meant a lot to Grandma that I gave her my speech and that she has read it multiple times already.
That was probably the hardest fucking thing I've ever done.
I lost it instantly (So much for my plan to be in control). I sobbed for Grandma's pain. Somehow I found myself next to Grandma supporting her, but there was no way I was going to regain my composure by the time the service started if I stayed with her. It was so bad that my dad asked me if I was going to be able to give the eulogy. I wasn't sure I would be able to do it, but I told him, "Yes."
Family, friends, and co-workers gave their condolences. My mom saved the day by taking my place next to Grandma so that I could collect myself. I went into the bathroom, took deep breaths, blew my runny nose, and wiped my eyes. I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself. I saw a young woman growing up much too quickly. It wasn't a kid looking back at me, it was an adult. I stopped crying and told myself, be their rock. They need you to be strong and to honor Don.
After I left the bathroom in control, I met with the pastor. He went over the service and told me when I would be introduced. My dad asked me not to look at him while I was speaking. Right before the service started, I placed my notes on the podium and I moved to the front row with my Uncle Mike, which was right in front of Grandma. The Pastor lead us in hymns, scripture, and prayer, and then he introduced me.
I walked up to the podium and looked out into the audience before I started speaking. There were at least 50 people in attendance. I introduced myself and thanked everyone for being there. After a short intro, I began telling family favorite memories we have of Don and I followed with my personal favorite stories I have of my Uncle. In all, there were 10 stories I told. I held it together until the end of my last story. "He truly believed in me and I'll never forget that." Although I didn't cry at this part, my voice cracked and I had to take a beat before finishing with the short conclusion.
To end, I looked over at the open casket three feet to my left and said, "Don, there is no doubt that you are loved and you will be missed dearly." I was holding it together until I heard my Uncle Mike in the front row catch his breath. I glanced up and that's when I lost it. I choked out "Keep Grandpa out of trouble in Heaven for us. Goodbye for now." I left the podium in tears and took my seat next to Uncle Mike. He gave my leg a reassuring squeeze. The pastor gave a final prayer and it was over.
Afterwards, a lot of people came up to me and said what a wonderful speech I gave and that Don would be proud. Others mentioned that they wouldn't have been able to do what I just did. I met two of Don's co-workers from Red Lobster. He worked there for 39 years and he worked with them for 19 of those years. They had really nice things to say about him and thought of him like a brother. The one brought a Red Lobster name tag with Don's name on it pinned to a rose and asked if she could put with him in the casket. I nodded my approval.
In the car ride to graveside, my Grandma asked me if she could have a copy of my speech. I gave her the notes I read off of. The next day (today), when Kim was visiting my Grandma, Kim said that Grandma told her that it meant a lot to Grandma that I gave her my speech and that she has read it multiple times already.
That was probably the hardest fucking thing I've ever done.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Emotions and Writing a Eulogy
I did it, I finished writing the eulogy I am going to give tomorrow at my uncle's funeral service. I didn't memorize it because I'm going to intentionally read it off the papers in front of me so that I will be less likely to lose control of my emotions. If I had to get up in front of everyone without a valid opportunity to look away from my family weeping in the audience, there's no way I'd be able to finish it with dry eyes.
Of course, I cried while penning my tribute to Uncle Don. I'm going to spend most of my time reminiscing about cherished family memories followed by personal favorite stories I have of my uncle. The following may or may not escape from my mouth tomorrow: "I was also told to picture the audience naked. Nice underwear, Uncle Mike." It's not all that light hearted, but I believe the overall tone will be a celebratory tribute memorializing Don's life. I pray somehow my words tomorrow will bring comfort to those mourning my uncle. As terrible as it sounds while I was writing it, I kept thinking the next eulogy I write will probably be for my grandma. That's just how my mind works. Note: My grandma is finally starting to get over her cold.
I hope that I will remain composed during the time I am front and center. I plan to shut off the water works the best I can until after I give my speech. Call me emotionally detached, but I really think that is how I will deliver it the best. I am doing it to honor Don and to help everyone else, so I just think it's better for me to be in control. I still plan to speak with love and feelings and pitch changes, I just don't plan to do it through tears, sobs, or ugly crying.
If you know me, you know I'm not the biggest fan of emotions and feelings. Well, when I was about to leave work on Thursday, I told one of the ladies (the office mom) to have a nice weekend. She questioned where I was going to be on Friday (today), so I explained that I have family coming into town for my uncle's funeral that's on Saturday and I have to finish writing the eulogy I'm giving. Except, out of nowhere, tears start falling down my cheeks. I hate that I cried at work. The lady was really nice, gave me a hug and told me to tell her if I need anything. Wish me luck!
Of course, I cried while penning my tribute to Uncle Don. I'm going to spend most of my time reminiscing about cherished family memories followed by personal favorite stories I have of my uncle. The following may or may not escape from my mouth tomorrow: "I was also told to picture the audience naked. Nice underwear, Uncle Mike." It's not all that light hearted, but I believe the overall tone will be a celebratory tribute memorializing Don's life. I pray somehow my words tomorrow will bring comfort to those mourning my uncle. As terrible as it sounds while I was writing it, I kept thinking the next eulogy I write will probably be for my grandma. That's just how my mind works. Note: My grandma is finally starting to get over her cold.
I hope that I will remain composed during the time I am front and center. I plan to shut off the water works the best I can until after I give my speech. Call me emotionally detached, but I really think that is how I will deliver it the best. I am doing it to honor Don and to help everyone else, so I just think it's better for me to be in control. I still plan to speak with love and feelings and pitch changes, I just don't plan to do it through tears, sobs, or ugly crying.
If you know me, you know I'm not the biggest fan of emotions and feelings. Well, when I was about to leave work on Thursday, I told one of the ladies (the office mom) to have a nice weekend. She questioned where I was going to be on Friday (today), so I explained that I have family coming into town for my uncle's funeral that's on Saturday and I have to finish writing the eulogy I'm giving. Except, out of nowhere, tears start falling down my cheeks. I hate that I cried at work. The lady was really nice, gave me a hug and told me to tell her if I need anything. Wish me luck!
Thursday, January 19, 2017
"Run often. Run long. But never outrun your joy for running."
I have a lot going on that I'm not mentally prepared to blog about yet. Let's talk about running instead.
We are already nineteen days into the new year, and so far I've only ran twice this year. The first time was at the marathon I ran on the eighth and the second time being this morning. To tell the truth, I needed a break from running. I trained hard for more than six months and towards the end of last year I wasn't enjoying it as much I usually do. I felt a burnt out. It felt like a chore. I don't know who said "Run often. Run long. But never out run your joy for running.", but they are right! Maybe it was post race blues, or maybe I was over training.
Anyway, the break did me good. I signed up for the next session of MarathonFest, which started this week. I woke up at 4AM and made it to the early run with my trusted running crew today. I needed the run this morning. I have been so stressed about my uncle's death, my crazy work schedule, and fighting a cold that the hour of running this morning helped relieve some stress. After my run this morning, I went to the gym to shower and get ready for work. OMG! I forgot my shower shoes, so I decided showering at the gym in socks would be better than showing bare foot. I put my disgustingly soaked soaks in the trash when I was done. It was a nightmare and now I'm super worried my feet are going to get funky. As soon as I got home tonight I put my shower shoes in my gym bag and scrubbed my feet clean. I will never forget them again!!!
Although I'm not training for anything specific this session (except a few 5Ks, but I don't count those as races I have to train for), I'm sure I'll find some half marathons to run before the session ends in May. I'm looking forward to running for fun again!
We are already nineteen days into the new year, and so far I've only ran twice this year. The first time was at the marathon I ran on the eighth and the second time being this morning. To tell the truth, I needed a break from running. I trained hard for more than six months and towards the end of last year I wasn't enjoying it as much I usually do. I felt a burnt out. It felt like a chore. I don't know who said "Run often. Run long. But never out run your joy for running.", but they are right! Maybe it was post race blues, or maybe I was over training.
Anyway, the break did me good. I signed up for the next session of MarathonFest, which started this week. I woke up at 4AM and made it to the early run with my trusted running crew today. I needed the run this morning. I have been so stressed about my uncle's death, my crazy work schedule, and fighting a cold that the hour of running this morning helped relieve some stress. After my run this morning, I went to the gym to shower and get ready for work. OMG! I forgot my shower shoes, so I decided showering at the gym in socks would be better than showing bare foot. I put my disgustingly soaked soaks in the trash when I was done. It was a nightmare and now I'm super worried my feet are going to get funky. As soon as I got home tonight I put my shower shoes in my gym bag and scrubbed my feet clean. I will never forget them again!!!
Although I'm not training for anything specific this session (except a few 5Ks, but I don't count those as races I have to train for), I'm sure I'll find some half marathons to run before the session ends in May. I'm looking forward to running for fun again!
Monday, January 16, 2017
Goodbye Uncle Don
After work last Wednesday, I went to my Grandma's. I called her around 6PM to let her know I was on my way and to make sure she already ate dinner. To my surprise she hadn't eaten dinner yet, so I stopped at Jersey Mike's to get her favorite cheesesteak for her. Once I got to her house, she already had the table set and a glass of ice cold water for me. We ate and I told her about my exciting day at work. We watched TV after I was done with the dishes. She let me control the remote, so we watched The Big Bang Theory. Judging by her laughs, I think she enjoyed the show as much as I did. My Uncle Mike came over close to 8PM and him, Grandma and I went to the hospital to visit Uncle Don.
Don was still in ICU, so he had his own private room. He had a breathing apparatus on so it was hard to see his face. Plus, he was hooked up to multiple machines and tubes. When Uncle Mike announced "Hey Don, look who came to see you. It's Lauren!" It was difficult to tell if he opened his eyes, but he made a few grunting noises of acknowledgement. I squeezed his hand and told him to "Hang in there." He seemed pretty out of it the entire time though. Nurse Luke was in every few minutes checking on Don, adjusting fluids, administering shots, etc. Grandma stood on one side of Don while Mike stood on the other. I sat in a chair by the door most of our visit. We stayed for just over two hours. To pass the time, I told Mike about my job and how exciting contracts are. We also talked about the Disney Marathon I just finished. As far as Don's status the nurse said they were waiting for a bed to open at a different hospital so that they could transfer him and run tests to see if he is a candidate for certain type of heart surgery.
By the time we got back to Grandma's, we said goodbye to Mike, and I put my PJ's on. I was super tired, but I stayed up and watched the news with Grandma for a little while. Before I headed to bed, I told her I'd be leaving at 6:45AM in the morning.
I woke up Thursday morning feeling like shit with a killer headache and a runny nose. I had a feeling I would get sick because my grandma was sick and all the germs at the hospital, but I didn't think I would get sick that quickly. My Grandma was already awake eating toast and drinking coffee at the table when I woke up. We ate together and she seemed a little offended when I told her I didn't want to read the paper. I felt a little bad rushing to leave on time because I didn't plan on her being up in the morning to spend time with.
While trying to survive at work feeling like crap, I found out that Uncle Don took turn for the worst overnight and the nurses said the next few days will be "crucial". This turn of events meant that he was no longer even a candidate for the tests they originally planned to run. At this point, we were not expecting a miracle, we were hoping he didn't suffer.
Around 4AM on Saturday, January 14th, 2017, Don passed away. He had two bad heart valves and in the end his heart failed. He was only 62 years old. Even though deep down I prepared myself for his passing, it still made me emotional. He spent just over four weeks in the hospital. I'm thankful he is no longer suffering. It also hurts my heart to see my Grandma go through the pain of losing someone again. I know it's been a tough time for my dad as well, but I'm inspired by the love he shows my Grandma (his mom). I hate that I saw him on his death bed because that is not how I wish to remember him. At the moment, I'm feeling emotionally numb.
Don was still in ICU, so he had his own private room. He had a breathing apparatus on so it was hard to see his face. Plus, he was hooked up to multiple machines and tubes. When Uncle Mike announced "Hey Don, look who came to see you. It's Lauren!" It was difficult to tell if he opened his eyes, but he made a few grunting noises of acknowledgement. I squeezed his hand and told him to "Hang in there." He seemed pretty out of it the entire time though. Nurse Luke was in every few minutes checking on Don, adjusting fluids, administering shots, etc. Grandma stood on one side of Don while Mike stood on the other. I sat in a chair by the door most of our visit. We stayed for just over two hours. To pass the time, I told Mike about my job and how exciting contracts are. We also talked about the Disney Marathon I just finished. As far as Don's status the nurse said they were waiting for a bed to open at a different hospital so that they could transfer him and run tests to see if he is a candidate for certain type of heart surgery.
By the time we got back to Grandma's, we said goodbye to Mike, and I put my PJ's on. I was super tired, but I stayed up and watched the news with Grandma for a little while. Before I headed to bed, I told her I'd be leaving at 6:45AM in the morning.
I woke up Thursday morning feeling like shit with a killer headache and a runny nose. I had a feeling I would get sick because my grandma was sick and all the germs at the hospital, but I didn't think I would get sick that quickly. My Grandma was already awake eating toast and drinking coffee at the table when I woke up. We ate together and she seemed a little offended when I told her I didn't want to read the paper. I felt a little bad rushing to leave on time because I didn't plan on her being up in the morning to spend time with.
While trying to survive at work feeling like crap, I found out that Uncle Don took turn for the worst overnight and the nurses said the next few days will be "crucial". This turn of events meant that he was no longer even a candidate for the tests they originally planned to run. At this point, we were not expecting a miracle, we were hoping he didn't suffer.
Around 4AM on Saturday, January 14th, 2017, Don passed away. He had two bad heart valves and in the end his heart failed. He was only 62 years old. Even though deep down I prepared myself for his passing, it still made me emotional. He spent just over four weeks in the hospital. I'm thankful he is no longer suffering. It also hurts my heart to see my Grandma go through the pain of losing someone again. I know it's been a tough time for my dad as well, but I'm inspired by the love he shows my Grandma (his mom). I hate that I saw him on his death bed because that is not how I wish to remember him. At the moment, I'm feeling emotionally numb.
Monday, January 9, 2017
The Walt Disney Marathon Weekend
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017:
After work, I drove to meet my ugly stepsister (Michelle W.) at Disney's ESPN Wide World of Sports to pick up our race packets and to try to get moved to a better corral. Thankfully, we were able to get moved to three corrals better! Before we left, I mentioned that I wished my bestie was going to be at the race, but I was still thankful my sister Kim was going to be there. We took a selfie before saying goodbye. Once I got to my car I texted the selfie to Taylor letting her know I picked up my race packet!!
Thursday, January 5th, 2017:
My supervisor and I are so busy that executive management has approved me to work any overtime I want in the hopes that we will be able to catch up without hiring an assistant. After work, I got a cute haircut and my best friend came into town. We hadn't seen each other since our trip to NYC, so it was awesome to get time with Taylor! Before we went to dinner, we opened our Christmas gifts! Then, she surprised me by dressing up as Cinderella and announcing that she was going to go to the marathon and cheer me on! She was going to be my ugly stepsister's and my Cinderella!!!!
Last month, when we made plans for her to come visit for her job interview/hair appointment, I was really disappointed when she said she was going to sleep in and drive home on Sunday (race day) because she couldn't wake up at 2AM, cheer for me at the race, and then drive 3+ hours home. I hated the fact that she would rather sleep in and be rested for her long drive home (even though I know she hates driving) than to wake up at an ungodly hour and be bored while waiting for me to run another marathon. She just saw me at the NYC Marathon. Am I really that selfish? Umm, maybe, but in my defense having someone at the finish line is awesome motivation! I felt pretty bad about letting her let me down, but that didn't stop me from asking again multiple times if she was sure she didn't want to go to the race. Each time, to my complete disappointment, she declined. Heck, the last minute selfie with my ugly stepsister after picking up our packets didn't even change her mind. Meanwhile the whole time she was planning to go to the race dressed as Cinderella!!! I was speechless!
Friday, January 6th, 2017:
I went to work and left at 2PM to go home and prep for my colon and rectal specialist appointment. Taylor had an interview in the morning. She went with me to my Dr. appointment and afterwards we went to a place called Better Than Sex Dessert Restaurant. It was absolutely delicious! I got The All Nighter, which is coffee with coffee liquer, and I got the Better Than Sex dessert, which is bread pudding in like a chocolate cake/brownie. It was amazing! Taylor had wine and some kind of cookie with ice cream. After Better Than Sex, we went to BJ's Restaurant for a drink and some pizza!
My colon and rectal appointment went surprisingly well. It always surprises me when it goes well. My stricture barely needed any flexing. It didn't even hurt when the doc put her finger up my rectum to flex it. I don't have to go back until SIX MONTHS!!! My butt didn't bleed after and I wasn't sore or in pain either. I could totally get used to that!
Saturday, January 7th, 2017
RunDisney cancelled the half marathon and kid races and delayed race related activities like the expo until 11AM due severe weather. It was rainy, Taylor hates to drive, and I can't get enough time with Taylor, so I drove Taylor on an errand before driving her to her hair appointment! I jammed out in the car mentally preparing for the race while I waited for her to get her hair done. I would imagine waiting for a two hour hair appointment is easier than waiting on a 6+ hour marathon. I was tempted to cheer for her when she returned to the car, but instead I just gave her some fruit I got at Wawa while she was getting her hair done because I knew she must be hungry. Once we got back home, we ate lunch, went over some wedding details, and made some DIY bridal shower things. Thank goodness she's helping because she made it so easy! I'm sure I would have complicated the shit out of modge podging glitter on vases. We watched the movie Bad Moms... okay, Taylor watched the movie while I got all my race stuff ready. My family ordered Olive Garden to go and Taylor and I watched the movie Dear John...okay, Taylor watched the movie while I was WhatsApp messaging my running friends to see where everyone was going to be on the course. Most of my group was volunteering at the race, while a few others were going to cheer on the few of us actually running the marathon. We also messaged complaints about the freaking cold weather. More on that in a minute. We stopped the movie short and went to bed around 8PM.
Sunday, January 8th, 2017:
Wake up call at 2AM! I jumped right out of bed to get ready for race day! Kim, Taylor, and I left the house around 2:40AM and we were parked at Epcot by 3:15AM. They start closing roads at 3:30AM, so it's best to get there early and not deal with road closures. My ugly step sister stayed on Disney property, so I met her in the starting area. Security was actually kind of a joke. Sure they had a bag check line where security inspected bags, but I easily went through the no bag line with my flip belt hidden underneath my sweats. As soon as I saw Michelle I knew something was wrong, but I didn't say anything. Maybe she just did an excellent job on her makeup for the ugly stepsister. The first thing she told me was that she vomited last night after dinner and again race morning on her bus ride to the start area. She was a mess. Right away, I took her bag that she was going to check and carried it for her and we went to find a porta-potty with a short line. It was fucking FREEZING!!! Literally the feel like temperature was 24 degrees! After we went to the bathroom, she pulled out heat sheets for us from her bag! She was so out of it that I had to help her wrap her heat sheet around her because the wind kept blowing it up so that it wouldn't lay flat on her back. Those things were life savers because it blocked the wind from chilling us to our bones. I continued to carry her stuff while we walked to the self aid station to see if they had water. While she was talking to a medic her Drisella bow fell off her head and I grabbed it to hold so that she wouldn't lose it. At this point, I'm mentally preparing to give up a chance at a PR if I have to in order to stay with her to make sure she finishes her first marathon.
Once we checked her bag (I didn't bring a bag to check because I gave Kim and Taylor the shit I might need and the car wasn't parked too far away from the finish), we hit the porta-potties one more time before starting our 20 minute walk in the freezing cold to our start corral. At this point I'm still carrying her bow and feeling bad that she's sick on this one day that she has worked her ass off training for the past five months! I gave her bow when we got inside our corral and she slowly started pulling herself together.
We crossed the start line and she talked a little, but not as much as usual. *red flag* When Michelle is quiet that means she's not doing well. We actually passed another lady in our group right before mile two. It's always cool to see people you know on the course. Once we passed mile three, I learned Kim and Taylor were confused about where they were supposed to be seeing us on the course. Oh well, as much as I wanted to direct them to where they were supposed to be I had other things on my mind (don't lose Michelle in the crowd). Michelle used bib magnets to hook her race bib to her shirt, but she lost some and her bib wasn't staying on. So, I took off one of the safety pins on my bib and gave it to her to use. In the process, she dropped one of her gloves. Thankfully, it wasn't too far back on the ground and she was able to find it. We took off our sweatshirts at mile four and then stopped at porta-potties in the MK parking lot for Michelle. I held her sweatshirt and waited for her because I didn't have to go. Gatorade made her nauseous so she was only taking water and salt tablets. One of our running friends was on Main Street in the Magic Kingdom, which was awesome!! I went live on Facebook as we ran through Cinderella's Castle!
Instead of seeing us at MK, Kim and Taylor just went to the Polynesian where I'm sure they waited forever in the cold judging by Kim's text she sent when we were passing mile seven: "Where the fuck are you". Michelle and I were averaging like 3 minutes slower per mile than our typical training pace. We finally saw Kim and Taylor at mile 7.7 where they cheered us on and I gave them my jacket to hold. After we passed them, Michelle told me that I could leave her because she was slowing me down. Prior to this she had already mentioned her fear of the balloon ladies passing us. The balloon ladies set the pace for the slowest pace you can maintain and still be allowed to finish. If the balloon ladies pass you, you get picked up by a bus. Since I had been passed by the balloon ladies and picked up by the bus in 2013, I knew I couldn't leave Michelle if she was already having these thoughts by mile 8. I know the disappointment of a DNF (did not finish) and I was not going to let that happen to her. I could live without a PR, but I would be extremely disappointed if I left her and she didn't finish. I had to talk more than usual, so I told her about how Taylor and I met and how we became best friends. She couldn't believe I didn't get a birthday card for Taylor when I went to Blue Man Group for Taylor's birthday. Sorry, Taylor!
I stopped at a bathroom inside Animal Kingdom while Michelle kept walking. I didn't want her to stop moving if she didn't have to, so I told her to walk ahead and I would catch up. It seemed like the line for the bathroom took forever. As soon as I was done I took off and passed the halfway point (13.1) running really fast to try to find Michelle on the course. Thankfully, she messaged me saying she was in front of the Dino ride and sure enough I looked up ahead and saw her. We chugged along and came across our group leaders right before mile 16 where they were standing on an overpass cheering the racers on. They gave us big hugs and even brought snacks. They are amazing group leaders!!! They are invested in everyone's success and we couldn't ask for a better running group.
While we approached ESPN Wide World of Sports I told Michelle this is the worst stretch of the race. I told her about my AAU National Basketball Tournament that I played at ESPN when I was 13 and all about being a great basketball player back in the day and she even found the strength to tell me a few stories as well. As we were coming out of ESPN approaching mile 21 we saw the balloon ladies pass us as they were going into ESPN on the course, which meant that the balloon ladies were 4 miles behind us. There were times I glanced at Michelle and I could tell she was about to cry or had been crying. I could tell she doubted she was going to finish. This was right around the point in race I got picked up in 2013, so it was an emotional period for me too. I felt so bad for Michelle and I wasn't entirely sure what she needed or what else I could do to encourage her. Was she tired of me saying that "We are going to make it", "You are going to become a marathoner today"! Knowing we were averaging 15 minute miles (course pace requires at most 16 minutes per mile), by mile 23 I knew that even if we walked the rest of the way that we would make it. Around that time, I put my arm around her and said something like "You are going to finish this fucking marathon! We can walk the rest of the way and you will still be a marathoner!" We walked hills, but otherwise I kept running hoping she would too...and she did, she followed me. I looked back every few steps to make sure she was still with me. I felt like somehow I was pulling her with me!
I know when we entered Epcot, she finally believed she was going to finish. We ran around the world and took a walk break before running to the mile 26 marker. We saw Kim and Taylor right before the grand stand seating cheering us towards the finish line, yay!!! We even saw Michelle's wife and son in the grand stands waving at us! As we approached the finish line Michelle asked if we could hold hands and cross. So we put our hands over our heads victoriously and crossed the finish line hand in hand!!!
If we weren't friends before the race, we are certainly friends now. Seriously, helping a friend cross the finish line beats a PR any day! I played this scenario out in my head before race day and every time I thought I would choose a PR over slowing down to stay with someone, but in the moment I made a different decision entirely and I don't regret it one bit. That unexpected, awkwardly HUGE hug says it all! She said that without me she would not have finished. I know running a marathon is never easy, especially when you don't feel well.
Two ladies in our group (Michelle S. and Cindy) were volunteering at the finish line handing out heat sheets. They were screaming for us and it was awesome!!! After we got our medals and heat sheets, we picked up Michelle W's bag from bag check and met her family briefly before a medic came with a wheel chair and wheeled her to the medical tent. On our way to the medical tent, I found Taylor and Kim. They were good sports, helped carry our bags, and followed us to the medical tent. Michelle was very nauseous and likely a little dehydrated. She was totally not herself. Michelle's family found us again in the medical tent. We stayed for a few minutes, and then I gave all of Michelle's stuff to her wife. I hated to leave while she was so down, but I had a Cinderella photo op with my best friend awaiting me.
The moment you've all been waiting for... one ugly stepsister was too sick for this memorable picture, but this still made my day!!! Taylor is the best! Mind you, it was still freaking cold when we took this picture! I want to send a BIG thank you to Kim and Taylor for being at the race to cheer me on! It means the world that you would waste your Sunday freezing your ass off just so you could cheer me on!! This was my fifth marathon (not counting the one I DNF)! My first run of 2017 and not likely my last run any time soon!
After work, I drove to meet my ugly stepsister (Michelle W.) at Disney's ESPN Wide World of Sports to pick up our race packets and to try to get moved to a better corral. Thankfully, we were able to get moved to three corrals better! Before we left, I mentioned that I wished my bestie was going to be at the race, but I was still thankful my sister Kim was going to be there. We took a selfie before saying goodbye. Once I got to my car I texted the selfie to Taylor letting her know I picked up my race packet!!
Thursday, January 5th, 2017:
My supervisor and I are so busy that executive management has approved me to work any overtime I want in the hopes that we will be able to catch up without hiring an assistant. After work, I got a cute haircut and my best friend came into town. We hadn't seen each other since our trip to NYC, so it was awesome to get time with Taylor! Before we went to dinner, we opened our Christmas gifts! Then, she surprised me by dressing up as Cinderella and announcing that she was going to go to the marathon and cheer me on! She was going to be my ugly stepsister's and my Cinderella!!!!
Last month, when we made plans for her to come visit for her job interview/hair appointment, I was really disappointed when she said she was going to sleep in and drive home on Sunday (race day) because she couldn't wake up at 2AM, cheer for me at the race, and then drive 3+ hours home. I hated the fact that she would rather sleep in and be rested for her long drive home (even though I know she hates driving) than to wake up at an ungodly hour and be bored while waiting for me to run another marathon. She just saw me at the NYC Marathon. Am I really that selfish? Umm, maybe, but in my defense having someone at the finish line is awesome motivation! I felt pretty bad about letting her let me down, but that didn't stop me from asking again multiple times if she was sure she didn't want to go to the race. Each time, to my complete disappointment, she declined. Heck, the last minute selfie with my ugly stepsister after picking up our packets didn't even change her mind. Meanwhile the whole time she was planning to go to the race dressed as Cinderella!!! I was speechless!
Friday, January 6th, 2017:
I went to work and left at 2PM to go home and prep for my colon and rectal specialist appointment. Taylor had an interview in the morning. She went with me to my Dr. appointment and afterwards we went to a place called Better Than Sex Dessert Restaurant. It was absolutely delicious! I got The All Nighter, which is coffee with coffee liquer, and I got the Better Than Sex dessert, which is bread pudding in like a chocolate cake/brownie. It was amazing! Taylor had wine and some kind of cookie with ice cream. After Better Than Sex, we went to BJ's Restaurant for a drink and some pizza!
My colon and rectal appointment went surprisingly well. It always surprises me when it goes well. My stricture barely needed any flexing. It didn't even hurt when the doc put her finger up my rectum to flex it. I don't have to go back until SIX MONTHS!!! My butt didn't bleed after and I wasn't sore or in pain either. I could totally get used to that!
Saturday, January 7th, 2017
Sunday, January 8th, 2017:
Wake up call at 2AM! I jumped right out of bed to get ready for race day! Kim, Taylor, and I left the house around 2:40AM and we were parked at Epcot by 3:15AM. They start closing roads at 3:30AM, so it's best to get there early and not deal with road closures. My ugly step sister stayed on Disney property, so I met her in the starting area. Security was actually kind of a joke. Sure they had a bag check line where security inspected bags, but I easily went through the no bag line with my flip belt hidden underneath my sweats. As soon as I saw Michelle I knew something was wrong, but I didn't say anything. Maybe she just did an excellent job on her makeup for the ugly stepsister. The first thing she told me was that she vomited last night after dinner and again race morning on her bus ride to the start area. She was a mess. Right away, I took her bag that she was going to check and carried it for her and we went to find a porta-potty with a short line. It was fucking FREEZING!!! Literally the feel like temperature was 24 degrees! After we went to the bathroom, she pulled out heat sheets for us from her bag! She was so out of it that I had to help her wrap her heat sheet around her because the wind kept blowing it up so that it wouldn't lay flat on her back. Those things were life savers because it blocked the wind from chilling us to our bones. I continued to carry her stuff while we walked to the self aid station to see if they had water. While she was talking to a medic her Drisella bow fell off her head and I grabbed it to hold so that she wouldn't lose it. At this point, I'm mentally preparing to give up a chance at a PR if I have to in order to stay with her to make sure she finishes her first marathon.
Once we checked her bag (I didn't bring a bag to check because I gave Kim and Taylor the shit I might need and the car wasn't parked too far away from the finish), we hit the porta-potties one more time before starting our 20 minute walk in the freezing cold to our start corral. At this point I'm still carrying her bow and feeling bad that she's sick on this one day that she has worked her ass off training for the past five months! I gave her bow when we got inside our corral and she slowly started pulling herself together.
We crossed the start line and she talked a little, but not as much as usual. *red flag* When Michelle is quiet that means she's not doing well. We actually passed another lady in our group right before mile two. It's always cool to see people you know on the course. Once we passed mile three, I learned Kim and Taylor were confused about where they were supposed to be seeing us on the course. Oh well, as much as I wanted to direct them to where they were supposed to be I had other things on my mind (don't lose Michelle in the crowd). Michelle used bib magnets to hook her race bib to her shirt, but she lost some and her bib wasn't staying on. So, I took off one of the safety pins on my bib and gave it to her to use. In the process, she dropped one of her gloves. Thankfully, it wasn't too far back on the ground and she was able to find it. We took off our sweatshirts at mile four and then stopped at porta-potties in the MK parking lot for Michelle. I held her sweatshirt and waited for her because I didn't have to go. Gatorade made her nauseous so she was only taking water and salt tablets. One of our running friends was on Main Street in the Magic Kingdom, which was awesome!! I went live on Facebook as we ran through Cinderella's Castle!
 |
| The Ugly Stepsisters stormed the castle!! |
Instead of seeing us at MK, Kim and Taylor just went to the Polynesian where I'm sure they waited forever in the cold judging by Kim's text she sent when we were passing mile seven: "Where the fuck are you". Michelle and I were averaging like 3 minutes slower per mile than our typical training pace. We finally saw Kim and Taylor at mile 7.7 where they cheered us on and I gave them my jacket to hold. After we passed them, Michelle told me that I could leave her because she was slowing me down. Prior to this she had already mentioned her fear of the balloon ladies passing us. The balloon ladies set the pace for the slowest pace you can maintain and still be allowed to finish. If the balloon ladies pass you, you get picked up by a bus. Since I had been passed by the balloon ladies and picked up by the bus in 2013, I knew I couldn't leave Michelle if she was already having these thoughts by mile 8. I know the disappointment of a DNF (did not finish) and I was not going to let that happen to her. I could live without a PR, but I would be extremely disappointed if I left her and she didn't finish. I had to talk more than usual, so I told her about how Taylor and I met and how we became best friends. She couldn't believe I didn't get a birthday card for Taylor when I went to Blue Man Group for Taylor's birthday. Sorry, Taylor!
I stopped at a bathroom inside Animal Kingdom while Michelle kept walking. I didn't want her to stop moving if she didn't have to, so I told her to walk ahead and I would catch up. It seemed like the line for the bathroom took forever. As soon as I was done I took off and passed the halfway point (13.1) running really fast to try to find Michelle on the course. Thankfully, she messaged me saying she was in front of the Dino ride and sure enough I looked up ahead and saw her. We chugged along and came across our group leaders right before mile 16 where they were standing on an overpass cheering the racers on. They gave us big hugs and even brought snacks. They are amazing group leaders!!! They are invested in everyone's success and we couldn't ask for a better running group.
 |
| I'm not sure how she managed to smile here. |
I know when we entered Epcot, she finally believed she was going to finish. We ran around the world and took a walk break before running to the mile 26 marker. We saw Kim and Taylor right before the grand stand seating cheering us towards the finish line, yay!!! We even saw Michelle's wife and son in the grand stands waving at us! As we approached the finish line Michelle asked if we could hold hands and cross. So we put our hands over our heads victoriously and crossed the finish line hand in hand!!!
If we weren't friends before the race, we are certainly friends now. Seriously, helping a friend cross the finish line beats a PR any day! I played this scenario out in my head before race day and every time I thought I would choose a PR over slowing down to stay with someone, but in the moment I made a different decision entirely and I don't regret it one bit. That unexpected, awkwardly HUGE hug says it all! She said that without me she would not have finished. I know running a marathon is never easy, especially when you don't feel well. Two ladies in our group (Michelle S. and Cindy) were volunteering at the finish line handing out heat sheets. They were screaming for us and it was awesome!!! After we got our medals and heat sheets, we picked up Michelle W's bag from bag check and met her family briefly before a medic came with a wheel chair and wheeled her to the medical tent. On our way to the medical tent, I found Taylor and Kim. They were good sports, helped carry our bags, and followed us to the medical tent. Michelle was very nauseous and likely a little dehydrated. She was totally not herself. Michelle's family found us again in the medical tent. We stayed for a few minutes, and then I gave all of Michelle's stuff to her wife. I hated to leave while she was so down, but I had a Cinderella photo op with my best friend awaiting me.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Uncle Don and Grandma Update
My Uncle Don is still in the hospital. This is what I know... He is still in ICU. He is breathing on his own. He still has a feeding tube. He is no longer sedated, but he is considered to be in ICU psychosis. He is saying really weird shit and has very brief moments of clarity. He is supposedly hallucinating. He has a bed alarm on in case he tries to move. He also has some kind of gloves on so that he can't pull out any of the tubes he's hooked up to. He has always had a mental handicap, but it has never been diagnosed so no one really knows how to properly describe the condition of his state of mind. He is convinced the doctors and nurses are trying to kill him because he knows my grandpa (his dad) died in a hospital. Now the biggest concern is that he is experiencing irregular heart beats (Afib). The doctors have already suggested that heart surgery may be necessary. The same heart surgery my grandpa died while trying to recover from. I think my dad and his twin might have to make a difficult decision regarding heart surgery because my grandma does not want to make that decision knowing that's what killed her husband. Prior to Don's hospital visit, we were already aware that his heart valves weren't functioning at full capacity.
My grandma has been on a bunch of medication for whatever the heck is ailing her. The doctors couldn't give a clear diagnosis (I seriously hate health care! Does anyone ever get any real answers?). I actually visited her yesterday. It seems she has aged a lot in the past few weeks. While she's trying to get better, it is obvious that she is taking Don's hospitalization pretty hard. She blames herself for not getting him to the doctor sooner because she thought he just had a cold. It's hard for her to see Don in his current state of psychosis, but she still visits him everyday at the hospital.
My dad is not a very emotional person. Even though he is not affectionate, I get choked up to see how much effort he is putting forth to visit Don and making sure my grandma is taken care of. My dad was telling me that when Don started going off on one of his crazy rants the other day, he started tickling Don's feet...which made Don start laughing and stop talking crazy. I thought that was a sweet gesture of love.
My grandma has been on a bunch of medication for whatever the heck is ailing her. The doctors couldn't give a clear diagnosis (I seriously hate health care! Does anyone ever get any real answers?). I actually visited her yesterday. It seems she has aged a lot in the past few weeks. While she's trying to get better, it is obvious that she is taking Don's hospitalization pretty hard. She blames herself for not getting him to the doctor sooner because she thought he just had a cold. It's hard for her to see Don in his current state of psychosis, but she still visits him everyday at the hospital.
My dad is not a very emotional person. Even though he is not affectionate, I get choked up to see how much effort he is putting forth to visit Don and making sure my grandma is taken care of. My dad was telling me that when Don started going off on one of his crazy rants the other day, he started tickling Don's feet...which made Don start laughing and stop talking crazy. I thought that was a sweet gesture of love.
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