I did it, I finished writing the eulogy I am going to give tomorrow at my uncle's funeral service. I didn't memorize it because I'm going to intentionally read it off the papers in front of me so that I will be less likely to lose control of my emotions. If I had to get up in front of everyone without a valid opportunity to look away from my family weeping in the audience, there's no way I'd be able to finish it with dry eyes.
Of course, I cried while penning my tribute to Uncle Don. I'm going to spend most of my time reminiscing about cherished family memories followed by personal favorite stories I have of my uncle. The following may or may not escape from my mouth tomorrow: "I was also told to picture the audience naked. Nice underwear, Uncle Mike." It's not all that light hearted, but I believe the overall tone will be a celebratory tribute memorializing Don's life. I pray somehow my words tomorrow will bring comfort to those mourning my uncle. As terrible as it sounds while I was writing it, I kept thinking the next eulogy I write will probably be for my grandma. That's just how my mind works. Note: My grandma is finally starting to get over her cold.
I hope that I will remain composed during the time I am front and center. I plan to shut off the water works the best I can until after I give my speech. Call me emotionally detached, but I really think that is how I will deliver it the best. I am doing it to honor Don and to help everyone else, so I just think it's better for me to be in control. I still plan to speak with love and feelings and pitch changes, I just don't plan to do it through tears, sobs, or ugly crying.
If you know me, you know I'm not the biggest fan of emotions and feelings. Well, when I was about to leave work on Thursday, I told one of the ladies (the office mom) to have a nice weekend. She questioned where I was going to be on Friday (today), so I explained that I have family coming into town for my uncle's funeral that's on Saturday and I have to finish writing the eulogy I'm giving. Except, out of nowhere, tears start falling down my cheeks. I hate that I cried at work. The lady was really nice, gave me a hug and told me to tell her if I need anything. Wish me luck!
