Keeping Secrets

I don't consider myself a secretive person; however, I do appreciate my privacy. Yes, I think there's a difference between secret and private, so I looked it up to see if someone has already defined the differences. Sure enough, someone has... I agree with the definitions from this site: http://www.jung-at-heart.com/jung_at_heart/private-vs-secret-what-is-t.html

"Keeping something private is an act of choosing boundaries and staying comfortably within them."

"Keeping something secret is an act of hiding from the pain of disclosing something shameful"

I'm an open book, at least I think I am. If you want to know something, I'll most likely tell you what I know. I don't think I have anything to hide. The most secretive thing I do is pretend to feel well when I feel like crap. The biggest lie I tell is, "I'm doing great."  In my opinion, secrets are a form of lying. After all, secrets are essentially withholding the truth from people.  Sure, I appreciate honesty when folks tell me their secrets, but at the same time they're withholding the truth from someone else. In turn, I then have to withhold the truth from someone else and I don't really want to be caught up in the drama of secrets and lies.

Your secrets are safe with me, but that doesn't mean you should unload your heaviest burden on me.  The simple fact if I don't have the power to help you or if I frequently hang around the people you wish to keep this secret from, the new found knowledge causes me anxiety. Anxiety causes stress and stress is a possible factor in causing flares. So, for my health I usually don't want to know your secrets.  I want my friends and family to trust me; however, I don't want to be in the drama this trust sometimes creates. So, as a life rule I have a no secrets policy, which means not keeping secrets mine or otherwise. But, when folks spring their secrets on me without warning, I feel obligated to keep them so that I don't jeopardize the trust in our relationship.

I am currently keeping two secrets for other people. That number could be higher... At the moment, I remember only those two secrets though.  I tried to forget about them, but I can't. So, now they just weigh on my mind because I'm not at liberty to liberate the knowledge from my brain since they aren't my secrets to tell. It's a pain. Certain people could really benefit from the knowledge I have. It's frustrating.

Please, keep your secrets to yourself. Thank you.