I hate having to be a party pooper, but two incidents lately have made me one. The first incident happened at work. I work with my sisters and we like to have fun. We shoot each other with rubber bands, give each other love punches in the arm as we pass each other in the hall, etc... Well, I was at the scanner scanning a file and Kim sneak attacked me from behind with a paper box lid. She hit me in the back with the lid. I admit it wasn't very hard and at first I laughed it off. Until, I went to sit down at my desk and realized she bruised my spine. This sounds insane, however if you've seen my spine you'd understand. My spine protrudes out past my back and it's quite sensitive. Even sitting in chairs without cushion on the back for long periods of time bruise it. I was left explaining to Kim that I know it was all in good fun, but honestly it hurt.
The second incident happened at my parents' house this weekend. I gave myself injections on Friday and it went as well as they usually do. It isn't until the needles are inside my belly that I wonder how I have the strength and will to stab the needles into my skin. Sure, I experience some pain with injecting myself. Honestly, with all the pain my stomach has endured internally I don't really notice that it hurts. Occasionally, the injection spots get sore externally and this time it was the right side injection area that was tender to touch. I just kept my waist bands below the tenderness and avoided lying on my belly. While I was playing cornhole with my dad today him and my sister, Kelly, thought it'd be fun to chuck the eight bean bags at me in close range. Naturally, two of the bean bags hit my sore injection spot. I dropped to the ground like I had been shot. They were just fucking bean bags for crying out loud. It took a minute for me to catch my breath and explain my reaction. I didn't mean for them to feel bad about it. I know it was all in good fun, but, damn, it hurt.
I hate being a wimp. I hate that my body seems so fragile. It takes forever for my body to heal. I don't like ruining everyone's fun and being a party pooper, but I also don't like being hurt for stupid reasons like a box lid or bean bags. I just wish I could be tough all the time. The funny part is that I don't consider my family to be violent.
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