A week ago, I had the MRI for "additional views". I fasted all day and drank three more cups of barium. It took them five tries to get an IV hooked up. Ouch! The last of the bruises are still healing. Thankfully, they put me in FEET FIRST on my belly, so my head stayed out of the machine! I was in the machine for about the same amount of time as my MRI earlier that week. They didn't charge me for it though. I got two MRIs for the price of one!
The nurse from my gastro's office called me Tuesday morning to let me know my MRI "showed significant inflammatory changes and probable fistula to the bladder." She didn't go into detail and just confirmed that I had a follow-up appointment with my colorectal specialist to discuss the results. I shared the "results" with some friends and a few asked me what it means. Honestly, I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine. "Inflammatory changes" compared to what? Did SimonMed send these "results" or did my gastro determine this himself? If a fistula to the bladder is "probable", I want to know the exact probability. The symptoms lead me to believe the probability is 100% because how else would stool get into my urine. I spent all that money and endured those tests for them to diagnose me with the same thing I had diagnosed myself with a month and a half ago. The field of medicine blows my mind.
On Tuesday, August 22nd, I have an appointment with my colorectal specialist to discuss the results of the MRI(s). My running friend, Doreen, is going to go with me. I'm really happy she agreed to go with me when I asked her. Doreen is the absolute nicest person I've ever met! She's badass and super smart! I'm hoping with her help, we will ask my doctor the right questions to better enable me to make an educated decision on how I want to move forward.
Side note: Lisa (MRI Tech), Michelle (nurse), Juan (nurse).
Showing posts with label MRI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MRI. Show all posts
Friday, August 18, 2017
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Barium Enema and MR Entorography, Oh My!
July 31, 2017 - Barium Enema:
Surprisingly, the prep (clear liquid diet the day before along with two bottles of magnesium citrate and two dulcolax pills) didn't put me in the bathroom that much. In fact, I had some formed stool in the morning before my appointment. It still make my stomach hurt though.
They took an initial x-ray to make sure my bowels were clean enough for my procedure. I had a lot of stool in my bowels, so the tech had to get the PA. Thankfully, the PA also has Crohn's disease and didn't want to make me reschedule and reprep unless it was absolutely necessary. He talked with me to determine why I was there and what we're looking for. He consulted with his supervisor, the practicing physician, and they decided to remix the barium into a thinner consistency to give it a better chance of finding any abnormal pathways.
Typically the tech would insert the enema tip, but because I have a stricture and considered to be a "special" case, the MD wanted to do it (she was in dress clothes, not scrubs, so I don't think she usually has to do barium enemas). Since my bowels weren't empty, they didn't use air like they usually would.
The barium enema was very uncomfortable and it felt like I was going to shit all over them. The barium leaked a little, but the PA assured me that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. They have 90 year old men that shit the table all the time. The whole thing was a traumatizing and felt somewhat like an out-of-body experience.
After the MD signed off on the images and said I was done, the PA (the one with Crohn's) came into the room and let me know he isn't supposed to say anything, but he wanted me to know they didn't see any abnormal pathways. Seriously, I've never felt as well cared for as the team at SimonMed made me feel. While this seems like good news, it does not provide answers to my symptoms.
July 31, 2017 - Gastro Office Appointment:
I got the official results of the barium enema, which did not show any abnormal pathways. How the heck are feces getting into my urinary tract?? The Doc gave me a list of shit I have to get done. More on that later.
August 7, 2007 - MR Entorography (MRI of Small Bowel)
Since the Barium Enema only looks at the large intestine, my gastro ordered an MRI to look at the small intestine to see if maybe that's where the issue is coming from. I had this done a few years ago; however, it was a lot different this time around. I had to drink three 16oz. of barium (1 of 15 minutes) before the exam. The barium was new and improved from last time. It tasted better and was easier to get down than I remember, but it still made me nauseous.
Once the nurse (Juan) called me back to get my IV hooked up as I finished my last glass of barium, he complimented me on finishing the barium and mentioned that most patients can't drink them all. Hell, I didn't want to drink them all, I thought I had to. Had I known I could cheat on drinking all the barium, that would have been tempting.
The last time I had this done, they made me lay on my back on put me in the MRI machine feet first so that my head didn't go in the machine. This time around, they made me lay on my stomach (the radiologist explained that we want the bowels to move as little as possible and it helps to lay on them to minimize movement) and put me in *GASP* HEAD FIRST!!!! It was fucking terrifying!!!
I put in earplugs. They put some kind of temporary gastro paralysis in my IV that lasts for 30-45 minutes to slow the bowels. There was a huge strap the size of my back that hooked on each side of the table to secure me in tightly. The radiologist put the emergency ball in my hand (to squeeze if I need help or freak out) and started moving the table... which made me go head first into the fucking MRI machine. I can't remember the last time I was that afraid. At first I kept my eyes closed. My chest was tight, it was hard to breathe, and I felt like I was gasping for air. I was tempted to squeeze emergency ball, but somehow I found the strength not to. In that moment, I told myself that I wanted the chance to get answers more than I wanted safety (outside the MRI machine in an open room).
Tears slipped onto my check when I decided to open my eyes. I was somewhat relieved to find that the back of the MRI machine has a hole in it, so I could see the wall and a light in the distance. Still freaky, but better than it would have been had it been completely enclosed. It took about 45 minutes to go through a series of breath holds. Holding your breath as they take images also minimized movement. Afterward, the radiologist complimented me on how well I followed instructions and that made her job easy.
Before I left SimonMed, I went to the bathroom. I had very obvious symptoms of fecal matter in my urine and I passed gas out of my urethra. I'm hopeful the barium passed through whatever pathway it needed to in order to show up on the images.
I got a call today (08.09.17) from SimonMed asking me to come back in for "additional views". I'm going back on Friday the 11th. They couldn't tell me specifics because they are not allowed to allude to any diagnosis, but the lady did say they want to image lower into the pelvic region. Since it sounds like they didn't take images of that region before, the reason for additional views cannot be because of poor images from the first appointment. Perhaps they saw something and want narrow in on it...but that still doesn't make sense if they didn't take images of that region before. My mind is racing wondering if they found something, anything that might help explain my symptoms.
The bad news is that I have to conquer that damn MRI machine again. What's worse, a barium enema or a MRI where you go in head first? I don't know if I can answer that as they both seem like the same level of hell to me.
Surprisingly, the prep (clear liquid diet the day before along with two bottles of magnesium citrate and two dulcolax pills) didn't put me in the bathroom that much. In fact, I had some formed stool in the morning before my appointment. It still make my stomach hurt though.
They took an initial x-ray to make sure my bowels were clean enough for my procedure. I had a lot of stool in my bowels, so the tech had to get the PA. Thankfully, the PA also has Crohn's disease and didn't want to make me reschedule and reprep unless it was absolutely necessary. He talked with me to determine why I was there and what we're looking for. He consulted with his supervisor, the practicing physician, and they decided to remix the barium into a thinner consistency to give it a better chance of finding any abnormal pathways.
Typically the tech would insert the enema tip, but because I have a stricture and considered to be a "special" case, the MD wanted to do it (she was in dress clothes, not scrubs, so I don't think she usually has to do barium enemas). Since my bowels weren't empty, they didn't use air like they usually would.
The barium enema was very uncomfortable and it felt like I was going to shit all over them. The barium leaked a little, but the PA assured me that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. They have 90 year old men that shit the table all the time. The whole thing was a traumatizing and felt somewhat like an out-of-body experience.
After the MD signed off on the images and said I was done, the PA (the one with Crohn's) came into the room and let me know he isn't supposed to say anything, but he wanted me to know they didn't see any abnormal pathways. Seriously, I've never felt as well cared for as the team at SimonMed made me feel. While this seems like good news, it does not provide answers to my symptoms.
July 31, 2017 - Gastro Office Appointment:
I got the official results of the barium enema, which did not show any abnormal pathways. How the heck are feces getting into my urinary tract?? The Doc gave me a list of shit I have to get done. More on that later.
August 7, 2007 - MR Entorography (MRI of Small Bowel)
Since the Barium Enema only looks at the large intestine, my gastro ordered an MRI to look at the small intestine to see if maybe that's where the issue is coming from. I had this done a few years ago; however, it was a lot different this time around. I had to drink three 16oz. of barium (1 of 15 minutes) before the exam. The barium was new and improved from last time. It tasted better and was easier to get down than I remember, but it still made me nauseous.
Once the nurse (Juan) called me back to get my IV hooked up as I finished my last glass of barium, he complimented me on finishing the barium and mentioned that most patients can't drink them all. Hell, I didn't want to drink them all, I thought I had to. Had I known I could cheat on drinking all the barium, that would have been tempting.
The last time I had this done, they made me lay on my back on put me in the MRI machine feet first so that my head didn't go in the machine. This time around, they made me lay on my stomach (the radiologist explained that we want the bowels to move as little as possible and it helps to lay on them to minimize movement) and put me in *GASP* HEAD FIRST!!!! It was fucking terrifying!!!
I put in earplugs. They put some kind of temporary gastro paralysis in my IV that lasts for 30-45 minutes to slow the bowels. There was a huge strap the size of my back that hooked on each side of the table to secure me in tightly. The radiologist put the emergency ball in my hand (to squeeze if I need help or freak out) and started moving the table... which made me go head first into the fucking MRI machine. I can't remember the last time I was that afraid. At first I kept my eyes closed. My chest was tight, it was hard to breathe, and I felt like I was gasping for air. I was tempted to squeeze emergency ball, but somehow I found the strength not to. In that moment, I told myself that I wanted the chance to get answers more than I wanted safety (outside the MRI machine in an open room).
Tears slipped onto my check when I decided to open my eyes. I was somewhat relieved to find that the back of the MRI machine has a hole in it, so I could see the wall and a light in the distance. Still freaky, but better than it would have been had it been completely enclosed. It took about 45 minutes to go through a series of breath holds. Holding your breath as they take images also minimized movement. Afterward, the radiologist complimented me on how well I followed instructions and that made her job easy.
Before I left SimonMed, I went to the bathroom. I had very obvious symptoms of fecal matter in my urine and I passed gas out of my urethra. I'm hopeful the barium passed through whatever pathway it needed to in order to show up on the images.
I got a call today (08.09.17) from SimonMed asking me to come back in for "additional views". I'm going back on Friday the 11th. They couldn't tell me specifics because they are not allowed to allude to any diagnosis, but the lady did say they want to image lower into the pelvic region. Since it sounds like they didn't take images of that region before, the reason for additional views cannot be because of poor images from the first appointment. Perhaps they saw something and want narrow in on it...but that still doesn't make sense if they didn't take images of that region before. My mind is racing wondering if they found something, anything that might help explain my symptoms.
The bad news is that I have to conquer that damn MRI machine again. What's worse, a barium enema or a MRI where you go in head first? I don't know if I can answer that as they both seem like the same level of hell to me.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
An Unexpected Refund
Okay, I'm sure you know that I hate blowing money on anything medical related. In fact, I hate it so much that I always opt for staying awake during my visits with my colorectal specialist rather than paying to be sedated. It's traumatic and barbaric, but it saves me money. When I had to drop fat stacks on my MRI in November, it irritated me.
The lady at the imaging place told me how much I owed, so I pulled out my insurance card because I didn't think the price on the bill had been adjusted for insurance. "I'm sorry, dear, I've already ran this through your insurance." Holy shit, I thought as I slowly handed her my credit card. Ouch, that hurt my bank account. Behold, I got a bonus at work in December and the net pay was 37 cents more than the cost of my MRI. Isn't that kind of freaky?
When I was paying bills last night, my credit card statement said I didn't owe anything because I had a credit. It baffled me. After further review, I found that the imaging place gave my card a full refund. It feels like an early birthday present!!! I had called insurance a few times after the MRI to ask about a possible partial refund, but they kept telling me that the claim hadn't been processed yet. The refund paid my credit card bill for January and will likely cover most if not all of February's bill as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much just banking money this month. Gah!!! This makes me so happy!
The lady at the imaging place told me how much I owed, so I pulled out my insurance card because I didn't think the price on the bill had been adjusted for insurance. "I'm sorry, dear, I've already ran this through your insurance." Holy shit, I thought as I slowly handed her my credit card. Ouch, that hurt my bank account. Behold, I got a bonus at work in December and the net pay was 37 cents more than the cost of my MRI. Isn't that kind of freaky?
When I was paying bills last night, my credit card statement said I didn't owe anything because I had a credit. It baffled me. After further review, I found that the imaging place gave my card a full refund. It feels like an early birthday present!!! I had called insurance a few times after the MRI to ask about a possible partial refund, but they kept telling me that the claim hadn't been processed yet. The refund paid my credit card bill for January and will likely cover most if not all of February's bill as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much just banking money this month. Gah!!! This makes me so happy!
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Dear 2015
Dear 2015,
I am not the least bit sad to see you go. You were a lot like a fly-over state. You offered some cool views, but really it was mostly boring while waiting for you to pass by. Perhaps it's because I was too busy adult-ing. The highlights you left me are as follows:
I spent most of 2015 working and reaching goals I set for myself many years ago. I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. It feels like I'm sleep walking though life at the moment though.
I am not the least bit sad to see you go. You were a lot like a fly-over state. You offered some cool views, but really it was mostly boring while waiting for you to pass by. Perhaps it's because I was too busy adult-ing. The highlights you left me are as follows:
- I mustered up the guts to quit working for my dad to sell cars. When I look back at selling cars, I think that it's proof that I really can do anything I set my mind to. It was a great experience. I just disliked the hours and the way they worked me to the bone. All the while I was still going to school.
- I graduated Summa Cum Laude from UCF with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration as a finance major!!! It's still hard for me to believe that I did it! This accomplishment is HUGE in my book of life. It may sound dumb, but there are days when I miss going to school.
- I had the courage to quit selling cars without any job prospects. Thankfully, my dad's company was busy enough to hire me until I found my current job as Payroll Assistant. I consider this job my first "real" job out of college. I'm learning so much. I'm blessed to work for such an amazing company with a super awesome workforce.
- I took myself off of my parents' health insurance plan and got my own insurance through work. This was and still is a big deal to me because health insurance is my lifeline.
- I started a 401K through work. I won't bore you with the details. I'll just say this excites me because I think it really is a step in the right direction to prepare for my future.
- I had my first MRI and it sucked, but it didn't suck as bad as a colonoscopy would have. I heard those words I hate hearing from my doctor: Crohn's is active. In response, I started doing Cimzia injections every three weeks instead of every four weeks to help determine if it's still working. I know what I think.
- I started going to counseling for the first time in my life. I didn't realize the layers of mental complexity Crohn's is affecting/creating. My feelings are valid. Even though I could be saving the money I'm spending on counseling, I think investing in my mental state is a wise decision.
- [Edit: I added this one because it somehow slipped my mind yesterday. I financed my dream car and I'm still in love. The Mustang totally exceeded my expectations!]
I spent most of 2015 working and reaching goals I set for myself many years ago. I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. It feels like I'm sleep walking though life at the moment though.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
After the MRI...
After the MRI on Friday, November 13th, it didn't take long for me to start feeling negative side effects from the three bottles of barium I drank as prep. My stomach turned to knots of pain and I found myself rushing to the bathroom every hour or two. I desperately wanted to sleep, but it seemed just as I cried myself to sleep I would get another urgent urge to go to the bathroom again. The urges felt like I had to pee, and even though I peed every time I went I also pooped black diarrhea every time, too. This went on Friday, Saturday, and even Sunday. I did not rest well. I lost eight pounds. I'm sure I was dehydrated. In the middle of the night, when everyone was in bed, I found myself sleeping on the bathroom floor to make for a shorter trip the next time the urge struck. One night, my dad slept in my bed so that I could sleep in my parents' bed with my mom close to their bathroom. My groans from being in pain woke my mom up a few times in the middle of the night, but she was a trooper. I felt physically and mentally fucked up, yet I'm still convinced the MRI was better than a colonoscopy.
I messaged my doctor to let him know how horribly I had been doing since the MRI and he let me know that it was typical for the barium to worsen symptoms, but that it should only last for a few days. Well, that would have been nice to know before I went into the MRI. It also makes me question the results of the MRI. Did the barium cause for bad or worse results?
I almost called in sick to work, but I hated to waste a sick day. I want to save my sick days for hospital visits if it has to come to that. Thankfully, I started feeling better on Monday. Yes, I was still experiencing pain, but I was experiencing less trips to the bathroom. My doctor called right at 5pm as I was signing off my computer at work, so I answered it even though my supervisor Kim was right in the office next to me. I would have walked into the stair well for privacy, but I didn't want my phone to drop the call. My doc asked about how my visit with my colorectal went, so I told him, "It was too tight to do the sigmoidoscopy, so she just flexed it with her finger and I go back in three months." Geez, I can't imagine what my supervisor is thinking of this conversation. My doc then went on to give me my MRI results: There is swelling in my small bowel, a possible fistula, and I was constipated during the MRI. Obviously, this means there is active disease, which makes us question if the medication, Cimzia, is working. My doc gave me two options: bump the dose of Cimzia to every three weeks instead of every four or switch to Humira or Remicade. I decided that I want to be sure Cimzia is not working before I switch to a different biologic, so I chose to bump the dose. I'll get lab work done in a few months to see if my inflammation levels have gone down and that's how we are going to tell if Cimzia is still working or not.
I was crying during my drive home from work, which has been happening more often than I care to admit lately. I had my car read me my messages for the day and Brittany came to my rescue again to turn my day around. Her and her family got me a get well gift, so I called her to thank her and filled her in about the results. I don't know how she does it, but she should write a book on how to be a friend to someone with a chronic illness because she is an absolute beast at it. She rocks my world when it needs rocking. Thank you, Brittany, for being an angel disguised as my friend. I know we don't talk that much, but I hope you know your heart is amazing and I love you!
I made it to work for the rest of the week, but I have been unfathomably exhausted. I did my Cimzia injections on Thursday, November 19th. Throughout the week I experienced occasional stomach pain. Mainly after a BM, but sometimes the pain just hit like a Mack Truck. I've been going to the bathroom more often than I'd like, but I've had worse so I'm happy it's not worse. Sleep has been difficult because I'm either waking up to go to the bathroom every few hours or I'm awake because I can't sleep through the pain.
I was supposed to visit Taylor this weekend, but I cancelled on her to stay home and recover from the week I've had. I promise it wasn't to stay home to binge watch House of Cards on Netflix. Thankfully, she understands I'm not always a flake. She's been a great ear for me to vent to. I don't complain verbally, out loud, but she is one person that will listen and I won't feel guilty when I need to get it off my chest. I know I complain on this blog (even though I think I'm just explaining the facts of what I'm going through mostly), but I think that's different. The minute you don't want to read it you can close my page, but mentally it helps me to let it out sometimes. She encourages me to call her at 3am when I'm in pain and can't sleep. Thank you, Taylor, for always being there to listen about my crazy shit. Thanks for always checking in and sending me funny memes. My love for you runs deeper than the sewers. I love you, Stinkbrain!
I even had to turn down an offer to go to the Gator game. It was the right decision because I feel like the rest I got today did me well. I've only had pain once today and I've only been going to the bathroom about every three to four hours, so I'm super happy I seem to be on the right track. I have more to say, but I'll blog again tomorrow since this post is already long
I messaged my doctor to let him know how horribly I had been doing since the MRI and he let me know that it was typical for the barium to worsen symptoms, but that it should only last for a few days. Well, that would have been nice to know before I went into the MRI. It also makes me question the results of the MRI. Did the barium cause for bad or worse results?
I almost called in sick to work, but I hated to waste a sick day. I want to save my sick days for hospital visits if it has to come to that. Thankfully, I started feeling better on Monday. Yes, I was still experiencing pain, but I was experiencing less trips to the bathroom. My doctor called right at 5pm as I was signing off my computer at work, so I answered it even though my supervisor Kim was right in the office next to me. I would have walked into the stair well for privacy, but I didn't want my phone to drop the call. My doc asked about how my visit with my colorectal went, so I told him, "It was too tight to do the sigmoidoscopy, so she just flexed it with her finger and I go back in three months." Geez, I can't imagine what my supervisor is thinking of this conversation. My doc then went on to give me my MRI results: There is swelling in my small bowel, a possible fistula, and I was constipated during the MRI. Obviously, this means there is active disease, which makes us question if the medication, Cimzia, is working. My doc gave me two options: bump the dose of Cimzia to every three weeks instead of every four or switch to Humira or Remicade. I decided that I want to be sure Cimzia is not working before I switch to a different biologic, so I chose to bump the dose. I'll get lab work done in a few months to see if my inflammation levels have gone down and that's how we are going to tell if Cimzia is still working or not.
I was crying during my drive home from work, which has been happening more often than I care to admit lately. I had my car read me my messages for the day and Brittany came to my rescue again to turn my day around. Her and her family got me a get well gift, so I called her to thank her and filled her in about the results. I don't know how she does it, but she should write a book on how to be a friend to someone with a chronic illness because she is an absolute beast at it. She rocks my world when it needs rocking. Thank you, Brittany, for being an angel disguised as my friend. I know we don't talk that much, but I hope you know your heart is amazing and I love you!
I made it to work for the rest of the week, but I have been unfathomably exhausted. I did my Cimzia injections on Thursday, November 19th. Throughout the week I experienced occasional stomach pain. Mainly after a BM, but sometimes the pain just hit like a Mack Truck. I've been going to the bathroom more often than I'd like, but I've had worse so I'm happy it's not worse. Sleep has been difficult because I'm either waking up to go to the bathroom every few hours or I'm awake because I can't sleep through the pain.
I was supposed to visit Taylor this weekend, but I cancelled on her to stay home and recover from the week I've had. I promise it wasn't to stay home to binge watch House of Cards on Netflix. Thankfully, she understands I'm not always a flake. She's been a great ear for me to vent to. I don't complain verbally, out loud, but she is one person that will listen and I won't feel guilty when I need to get it off my chest. I know I complain on this blog (even though I think I'm just explaining the facts of what I'm going through mostly), but I think that's different. The minute you don't want to read it you can close my page, but mentally it helps me to let it out sometimes. She encourages me to call her at 3am when I'm in pain and can't sleep. Thank you, Taylor, for always being there to listen about my crazy shit. Thanks for always checking in and sending me funny memes. My love for you runs deeper than the sewers. I love you, Stinkbrain!
I even had to turn down an offer to go to the Gator game. It was the right decision because I feel like the rest I got today did me well. I've only had pain once today and I've only been going to the bathroom about every three to four hours, so I'm super happy I seem to be on the right track. I have more to say, but I'll blog again tomorrow since this post is already long
Friday, November 20, 2015
The MRI
I know this post is super delayed, but I have been busy surviving.
Once I checked in at the imaging place on Friday morning, I had to drink three bottles of barium. It tasted like cold, chalky fake-grape liquid. Thankfully, it didn't make me gag and I was able to finish each bottle in the time limit I was given, 15 minutes for each bottle. By the time I was on my third bottle there were about 15 other people in the waiting room and I was the only one that had to drink the barium.
The nice MRI Tech, Lisa, called me back. On our walk to the room she said this is the most complicated MRI. She asked if I had anything metal on and I didn't, so I was able to wear my clothes. When we got to the room, she asked me to climb onto the table. She then had me lay down and slide to a certain point on the table. Lisa strapped some kind of foam thing with holes in it that was attached to the table over my abdomen. She tried for an IV in my right arm, but my vein collapsed. Thankfully, it didn't hurt or bruise. She was able to get the IV going in my left arm. Finally, she injected something that slowed my bowels down for 30 minutes. She let me know this injection is the reason we have to work fast through the breath holds and get started quickly. She gave me a "help-ball" to hold onto to squeeze if I needed anything. She left the room and my table began to slide into the MRI tube. Once in the tube I got a sudden urge to pee, so I squeezed the help-ball to tell Lisa. She was nice and came rushing in to unstrap me from the table, but told me to run and hurry because we are on a time crunch. I peed so much! Oh all the while I'm holding my IV up with one arm. How did all that liquid get inside me? I awkwardly washed my one hand and I went running back to the MRI room where Lisa quickly strapped me back in. Although I did peek a few times I was more comfortable keeping my eyes closed. The whole MRI was a series of breath holds. I would hear Lisa in my head phones, "Take a deep breath and hold your breath." Then a bunch of racket would go on for 30 seconds and I would hear Lisa say, "Breathe."
Toward the end with only three breath holds left I squeezed the help ball again because I really, really had to pee... again. Lisa told me through the head phones that we were almost done and there wasn't any time to let me out to pee. I wasn't even embarrassed when I peed myself a little during the next breath hold. I squeezed the help ball to tell Lisa and she told me it was okay. I mean it was kind of her fault because she didn't let me out after I warned her. After the MRI was over, she quickly came in the room to unstrap me from the table and to take out my IV. Lisa hinted that I might have some bladder issues going on. As soon as she said I was free to go I rushed to the bathroom. I peed and peed and just when I thought I was still peeing I realized I was also shitting very liquid diarrhea that sounded like peeing.
It's been a week since the MRI and I feel like I am still recovering from the MRI. This weekend, I'll blog about the after effects of that damn barium that I had to drink and the MRI results. You know the results aren't good when the doctor personally calls you to discuss them.
Once I checked in at the imaging place on Friday morning, I had to drink three bottles of barium. It tasted like cold, chalky fake-grape liquid. Thankfully, it didn't make me gag and I was able to finish each bottle in the time limit I was given, 15 minutes for each bottle. By the time I was on my third bottle there were about 15 other people in the waiting room and I was the only one that had to drink the barium.
The nice MRI Tech, Lisa, called me back. On our walk to the room she said this is the most complicated MRI. She asked if I had anything metal on and I didn't, so I was able to wear my clothes. When we got to the room, she asked me to climb onto the table. She then had me lay down and slide to a certain point on the table. Lisa strapped some kind of foam thing with holes in it that was attached to the table over my abdomen. She tried for an IV in my right arm, but my vein collapsed. Thankfully, it didn't hurt or bruise. She was able to get the IV going in my left arm. Finally, she injected something that slowed my bowels down for 30 minutes. She let me know this injection is the reason we have to work fast through the breath holds and get started quickly. She gave me a "help-ball" to hold onto to squeeze if I needed anything. She left the room and my table began to slide into the MRI tube. Once in the tube I got a sudden urge to pee, so I squeezed the help-ball to tell Lisa. She was nice and came rushing in to unstrap me from the table, but told me to run and hurry because we are on a time crunch. I peed so much! Oh all the while I'm holding my IV up with one arm. How did all that liquid get inside me? I awkwardly washed my one hand and I went running back to the MRI room where Lisa quickly strapped me back in. Although I did peek a few times I was more comfortable keeping my eyes closed. The whole MRI was a series of breath holds. I would hear Lisa in my head phones, "Take a deep breath and hold your breath." Then a bunch of racket would go on for 30 seconds and I would hear Lisa say, "Breathe."
Toward the end with only three breath holds left I squeezed the help ball again because I really, really had to pee... again. Lisa told me through the head phones that we were almost done and there wasn't any time to let me out to pee. I wasn't even embarrassed when I peed myself a little during the next breath hold. I squeezed the help ball to tell Lisa and she told me it was okay. I mean it was kind of her fault because she didn't let me out after I warned her. After the MRI was over, she quickly came in the room to unstrap me from the table and to take out my IV. Lisa hinted that I might have some bladder issues going on. As soon as she said I was free to go I rushed to the bathroom. I peed and peed and just when I thought I was still peeing I realized I was also shitting very liquid diarrhea that sounded like peeing.
It's been a week since the MRI and I feel like I am still recovering from the MRI. This weekend, I'll blog about the after effects of that damn barium that I had to drink and the MRI results. You know the results aren't good when the doctor personally calls you to discuss them.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
MRI Is Scheduled
I don't know how I've almost made it through this work week. I've already pooped 10 times today and the day isn't even over yet. Where is all this crap coming from? How can all of that shit be inside me? It's been mostly explosive diarrhea. My stomach has been sore. I get shortness of breath by just walking up stairs. I was shushed by my sister Kim when I was trying to tell her how I've been feeling. I've been harassed behind my back about my bathroom habits by my sister Leigha. Oh, and the last time I tried to have a conversation with my mom about me she seemed too busy on her phone and laptop to really listen and then later claimed that I walked out in the middle of our conversation. Yes, I did.
Then I see a FB post from a friend that says, "I'm quickly becoming extremely frustrated by this whole being sick thing. Enough is enough." I can't comment: Imagine if you had a chronic disease. This post should be mine. What have you been sick for a week? Sounds like a dream. Hey, to each their own.
I had every intention of going to the MRI by myself. I already had plans this Friday to go to Universal and IOA with Kelly. Since I scheduled my MRI for Friday morning Kelly will be taking me to the MRI. If I feel okay afterwards, we'll go and drink butter beer at Hogwarts. I have to arrive an hour before my appointment to drink 3 bottles of something. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it, but it can't be worse than a colonoscopy prep, right? I told the scheduling lady that I'm not claustrophobic...we'll see if that's true. While I'm in the machine I'm sure it'll be like an out of body experience because there's no way I'd be brave enough to go in there. I'm trying not to be nervous about it because I think it's going to be a way better experience than a colonoscopy.
Then I see a FB post from a friend that says, "I'm quickly becoming extremely frustrated by this whole being sick thing. Enough is enough." I can't comment: Imagine if you had a chronic disease. This post should be mine. What have you been sick for a week? Sounds like a dream. Hey, to each their own.
I had every intention of going to the MRI by myself. I already had plans this Friday to go to Universal and IOA with Kelly. Since I scheduled my MRI for Friday morning Kelly will be taking me to the MRI. If I feel okay afterwards, we'll go and drink butter beer at Hogwarts. I have to arrive an hour before my appointment to drink 3 bottles of something. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it, but it can't be worse than a colonoscopy prep, right? I told the scheduling lady that I'm not claustrophobic...we'll see if that's true. While I'm in the machine I'm sure it'll be like an out of body experience because there's no way I'd be brave enough to go in there. I'm trying not to be nervous about it because I think it's going to be a way better experience than a colonoscopy.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
I'm the One That Doesn't Care
After reviewing my labs, my doctor thinks Crohn's may be active. He wants me to get an MRI or colonoscopy. The goal is to stop active inflammation before it leads to complications - strictures, abscess, fistulas. (Hey, I've had all of those before) I have opted for the MRI. Now, I just have to schedule it. Technically, I'm an adult; however, I had a tantrum in my room about my current health situation. I bawled my eyes out and pissed off some people. I don't mean to upset people. I felt so isolated and alone yesterday. Does anyone really get it?
It seems as though every damn time I have issues related to Crohn's that my mom blames me. Whether that blame is direct or indirect is beside the point. It's my fault because I don't do anything she says to "help" prevent things like this from happening. In my twisted head, when I hear her go off on tangents about what all I should be doing, all I think is that she doesn't get it. She doesn't care. It's not my fault. Chill out. It was brought to my attention that if she didn't care, she wouldn't be trying to "help". And I was told to never say mom doesn't care again. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I see that I was wrong. The truth is my mom cares... almost too much, but perhaps I need that. The truth is that I'm the one that doesn't care.
I'm skeptical eating better will help. I'm skeptical taking probiotics will help. I'm skeptical taking vitamin D will help. I am making changes anyway. I will start eating better. I will start taking probiotics. I will start taking vitamin D. I will do it for "them". I will do it to keep them quiet. If you have a cure, tell me and I'll add it to the list. I'll do it for you. Maybe one day I'll do it for me, but for now I think it's just going to be a waste of my time and money.
It's hard to take advice from someone who said, "inflammation is a sign of healing." I couldn't help, but laugh out loud when I heard that. Crohn's is the immune system attacking itself, which causes chronic inflammation in the GI tract. I don't believe the inflammation is a sign that I'm chronically "healing". That makes no sense!
I am suffocated by those who care and yet I feel alone because I don't think they get it. Heck, maybe I'm the one that doesn't get it.
It seems as though every damn time I have issues related to Crohn's that my mom blames me. Whether that blame is direct or indirect is beside the point. It's my fault because I don't do anything she says to "help" prevent things like this from happening. In my twisted head, when I hear her go off on tangents about what all I should be doing, all I think is that she doesn't get it. She doesn't care. It's not my fault. Chill out. It was brought to my attention that if she didn't care, she wouldn't be trying to "help". And I was told to never say mom doesn't care again. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I see that I was wrong. The truth is my mom cares... almost too much, but perhaps I need that. The truth is that I'm the one that doesn't care.
I'm skeptical eating better will help. I'm skeptical taking probiotics will help. I'm skeptical taking vitamin D will help. I am making changes anyway. I will start eating better. I will start taking probiotics. I will start taking vitamin D. I will do it for "them". I will do it to keep them quiet. If you have a cure, tell me and I'll add it to the list. I'll do it for you. Maybe one day I'll do it for me, but for now I think it's just going to be a waste of my time and money.
It's hard to take advice from someone who said, "inflammation is a sign of healing." I couldn't help, but laugh out loud when I heard that. Crohn's is the immune system attacking itself, which causes chronic inflammation in the GI tract. I don't believe the inflammation is a sign that I'm chronically "healing". That makes no sense!
I am suffocated by those who care and yet I feel alone because I don't think they get it. Heck, maybe I'm the one that doesn't get it.
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