Balance

Until the beginning of this month, I always thought that I would "marry" my job. I knew I wouldn't be marrying anything else, so it seemed like a reasonable idea at the time. I thought I could fall in love with work and live happily ever after. Replay May 2015 of working more than 50 hours a week and I quickly changed my mind. Although I want to, I no longer believe in that love anymore.  Who knows, it may exist. I just don't think I want it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm still motivated to find a company to be loyal to, but in return I need appreciation and work/life balance. My personal life may not be as exciting as most, but I still need balance. I want nothing to do with any sort of matrimony whatsoever anymore. I need time for friends, family, hobbies... I need time for me. Perhaps if those 50 plus hours were condensed into 4 or 5 work days, I could deal with it because that would give me 2 or 3 days off. However, having to go to work 6 or 7 days a week is exhausting and honestly it depreciated my overall happiness in life. 

Since I don't currently have any job prospects, it looks like I have time for an epic summer love! Who wants to set me up on a blind date? I'm attractive these days. I mean, I live with my parents, I haven't been working out, and I'm soon to be jobless. The date can be human or a calendar date for a surprise adventure.

Making Time

On June 1st, 2015, potentially my first day of unemployment, I wish to start making time for my hobbies again. I want to start making time to run. I worked almost 54 hours this week, so when I was home I was too exhausted to even think about going for a run. I miss it. I miss the road. I miss the time by myself. I miss the high.

I want to start making time to take lessons using my Spanish Rosetta Stone. Maybe if I start soon, I'll eventually learn another language.

I want to start making time for clowning. I love to volunteer clown and I love to make people smile. Plus, I miss my clown friends.

I want to start making time to have some fun. I want to take naps. I want to go to movies. I want to go ice skating. I want to go bowling. I want to hang out with friends. I want to go dancing. I want to try new restaurants. I want an adventure!!!!

I'm Looking for a Bigger Pond

A few weeks ago a colleague told me that a fish can only grow as big as its pond. The same colleague suggested that I look for not just a pond big enough to reach my potential, but an ocean vast enough to challenge it. I'd been getting hints from family and some friends that selling cars was selling myself short in my true ability.  Without any job offers on the table, I turned in my resignation yesterday as a Sales and Leasing Consultant at Classic Mazda. My last day will be May 31st. I do want to mention that my time with Classic Mazda has been a great experience. I truly appreciate the opportunity to learn about the automotive industry and the opportunity to learn about sales.  However, I'm looking to utilize my educational background in my next position.

Am I bold, ballsy, or completely irresponsible to quit without a current job offer on the table? Honestly, the work schedule with Classic Mazda left me very little time to look for and interview for open positions. I had an interview early in the week, but it passed me by because the opportunity wanted me to have more experience. I had a phone interview with FBC Mortgage yesterday and they will be scheduling an in person interview for next week. I'm still seeking out opportunities.

It feels like I made the right decision because I already feel happier even with the uncertainty of the future. I want to thank my family and all the friends I contacted to consult in this difficult decision. Your advice and support is much appreciated.

I Still Have a Butt

Despite the fact that I have been working my butt off, I still have a butt. My butt is hanging on for dear life though. I'm scheduled to work 6 days for a total of at least 50 hours this week. As you can imagine I hate to admit that these hours and the physical nature of selling cars is taking a slight toll on my health. I am doing awesome this month at selling cars! It's only the 17th of the month and I've already sold 8.5 cars! If I sell more than 12 this month, some guy at Honda owes me dinner!  I've been battling some diarrhea. Although I don't have school anymore, I still don't have much time for me. I certainly understand that at some point it's about making time rather than having time; however, I'm struggling to find time for my hobbies. I'm too exhausted from work to run. My feet hurt most of the time because I spend most of my day walking around the car lot, so when I'm off I like to put my feet up. I'm not off on the weekends to do clowning events or to spend time with friends and family. When family and friends are off work, I'm working. Likewise, when I'm off work, family and friends are working. Oh well, at least I still have a butt!

Guidance

First, I have a confession: I actually thought about reconsidering my viewpoint on marriage. Even though the thought was short lived, it kind of made me freak out. What the Hell was I thinking. I better shake that nonsense out of head. When I search myself, marriage is still not something I want. It must have been a temporary lapse in judgment.

Now on to the real reason I'm blogging tonight. Well, I can't specifically reveal the reason yet; however, I can tell you I am experiencing a lot of emotions. I have such a strong urge to initiate an action to pursue a certain outcome, but it's difficult because I don't have a back up plan. Today, I initiated the action, but there's a possibility that a failed outcome won't lead to my happiness. It's difficult because I believe this action will contribute to my happiness if there is a successful outcome.  I wish I had better guidance to be led down the right path of action or inaction.

I'm a UCF Alumni

It finally happened! I graduated from UCF this past weekend! I even made an A- in my class this semester, so I made A's in all of my classes except in three. In those three classes I earned a B, B+, and an A-. My graduation GPA is 3.948, which makes me Summa Cum Laude!!!!! It was more than I could have hoped for. My friends and family really made it one special weekend for me. It was difficult, but I somehow made it through the weekend without crying. I definitely had to fight back some happy tears at my graduation ceremony though.  It felt great to walk across that stage and shake the College of Business Administration's Dean's hand. My lab professor, Leo, was sitting in the very front row and he shouted out to me as I was crossing the stage, "Way to go, Lauren!" I gave him a huge smile, waved, and thanked him. I received an email from another professor who was at the ceremony congratulating me on graduating and with Summa Cum Laude honors (they mention honors after they said my name at graduation). He said he was very impressed and proud of the accomplishment.  I think the weekend can best be summarized in pictures.

Taylor made the trip from Miami to celebrate my graduation. She made me a "My Adventure Book" scrap book with pages dedicated to check things off of my bucket list. The wigs and balloons represent the everlasting friendship we will share through old age like in the movie UP.


This gift was beyond better than the unicorn turd that I had originally predicted.

Savanna joined us at Sak

My sisters and I

I had an absolute blast celebrating my graduation at SAK Comedy Lab with family and friends!  I had been planning that night for 6 months and it was worth the wait!

I wouldn't have made it to graduation without these ladies!

After the Sak show, Leigha, Brittany, Taylor, and I went next door to a pub called Avenue Gastrobar. The name GASTOBAR is what drew me in! I even got a free shot from the bartender!

I did it!!!!!!

I waited all semester to take a picture of me in my cap and gown on this statue!

A graduation selfie!

My proud parents!!!

My whole family!

Taylor and I at the alumni statue!

I Won The Lottery!!!

I won two extra tickets from the extra graduation ticket lottery at UCF!  Sadly, I'm more excited than my sister, Leigha, because now she gets to attend my graduation! I'm just stoked she's actually able to join my whole family to witness this huge accomplishment. I could offer the second extra ticket I won to family or a friend, but I think I'm going to keep it as a souvenir instead.  Does that make me a bad person?

Today, I thanked Leigha for pissing me off years ago because that led me to go to college. So, without her I wouldn't have found the success I'll be celebrating this weekend. Thanks to her I know the Hell of finals week. It's disappointingly ironic that the sole reason I started going to college was to prove to Leigha that I could do things in life without her. Fast forward to today and I do practically everything in life without her. We really don't have many common interests and both of us are guilty of not compromising. I struggle to relate with her.  Although our relationship isn't near as horrible as it once was, it's just non-existent.  Sometimes I miss the relationship we used to share.  I think that's why it's important to me that she's able to come to my graduation.  After all, I wouldn't have made it to college without her.

It's Over...I'm Done....Peace Out

I failed my last final exam that I took as an undergraduate student. I scored a 66%. Honestly, I lost motivation. Plus, the fact that I worked over a 12 hours shift the day before my exam ate into most of the study time that allocated for the exam.  I'm not even mad because I sold two cars that day. I passed my final class with a B+! So, I earned an A in all of my college classes except for 3. I earned one B and 2 B+'s.  By my calculations, my overall graduating GPA is 3.932! That's high enough for me to graduate Summa Cum Laude, which means I'm graduating in the top 2.5% of the College of Business Administration. Reality of finally being finished comes in emotional waves. Is it weird that I'm so proud of myself that I cry?

I had a meeting with my favorite professor at UCF, Christopher Leo, after my final exam. He was my lab instructor this semester and it was the third class I've taken with him. He does magic tricks... that's how awesome he is. He was also my professor for a class I took my very first semester at UCF when I had a bad flare. When I was seriously considering quitting school, he gave me kind words of encouragement and showed understanding. If it weren't for him, I'm not sure I would have stayed in school. He is one of the very few professor's at UCF that took the time to learn my name. He always made time to talk with me after class. He had confidence that I could make it and that ultimately helped me decide to stick with school through my health issues. We talked about my current position at Classic Mazda and my future with the company. We also talked about a potential plan B for my career. We talked about graduate school. We talked about my strengths, which he considers my biggest strengths to be my interpersonal skills and my drive to do my best at everything I do. He even gave me his cell phone number and said I could call him anytime if I need advice with my career or graduate school. He is also allowing me to use him as a reference. He has confidence that I will find success where ever I go. I awarded him with a certificate of appreciation that I made especially for him. It said:

Be it Known that
Christopher Leo
during the course of my study, through personal sacrifice, selflessness, and without material reward, bestowed the support and understanding without which my graduation would not have been possible. This certificate is hereby conferred to honor and recognize the confidence, guidance, wisdom and assistance freely given in helping me attain this important milestone in my life!

He was so honored to receive this appreciation from me. I wish you could have seen his eyes light up!  He is one fantastic professor and I wanted him to know that someone appreciated his passion to teach.