Today was my Grandpa Ace's birthday. He passed away last May, so this was the first time he wasn't here on his Earthly birthday. Thankfully, I worked the early shift today and got off work around 5pm, so I was able to have dinner with my dad, uncle and grandma ace tonight. I hugged my grandma a little tighter than usual to let her know that I love her. If today made her emotional, I didn't see any signs of it. I held my tears until my drive home and then the flood gates opened. I cried because I miss him. I cried because I want to talk to him and he's not here. I know he would be proud of me for getting into car sales because he was a salesman most of his life. I cried because he won't be around to celebrate with when I graduate from UCF. I cried because I can't see him smile. I cried because I can't see his eyes squint and nose wrinkle when he laughs at something funny I said. Like today on the way to dinner when grandma butt dialed someone and my dad and I had to explain what "butt dial" meant. I said it basically means there's an asshole on one end of the line.
I cried today, and that's okay. On Sunday, my family is getting together at my grandma's house to carpool to the graveyard so that they can put new flowers around his tombstone. I'll be at work, so I'll miss the waterworks for that, but if I get off work on time (which never happens), I'll swing by my grandma's for dinner on Sunday.
