I plan on being at the COB (College of Business) testing center when it opens at 7am tomorrow morning to take my Real Estate Valuation and Appraisal midterm exam. Immediately following the two hour, 100 question exam, I have to rush back home to give myself two fleet enemas to prep for my rectal exam at 11am. This is the one where I'm expecting to actually be able to see what the heck is going on in my colon on the screen while the scope is inside me. Honestly, I'm not sure I want to look, but I'm sure my curiosity will get the best of me. Will the fistula be visible? Will my colorectal specialist recommend surgery? Will the rectal exam be more painful than usual? Sometimes I wish they'd give me anesthesia, but then I remember that anesthesia is expensive and if insurance deems it un-necessary they won't cover it.
How lucky am I to have a rectal exam added to my list of midterm exams? I'm more nervous for my rectal exam than any of the others. This week I really want to quit school because I feel completely overwhelmed.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
My Medical Cocktail
First on the list of ingredients in my medical cocktail is a probiotic prescription. It's VSL#3 DS. You can get VSL#3 over the counter, but since I've got the DS (double strength) it requires a prescription. It comes it powder form and I mix it into juice twice a day to consume 900 billion live bacteria. It tastes like rubber gloves, but I've been managing to choke it down. The bacteria in my gut is messed up because my body attacks the good bacteria. This causes inflammation and Crohn's symptoms. Now that I'm on two antibiotics my gut is going through a rollercoaster of trying to sort the good and bad bacteria effectively to fight the right bacteria, so this probiotic is suppose to give it a boost. My honest opinion is that I should have been prescribed this probiotic a while ago regardless of whether I'm on antibiotics or not.
Second on the list of ingredients in my medical cocktail is an antibiotic called Flagyl (Metronidazole 500 MG). I'm taking it every eight hours, so three times a day. I used to take Flagyl about ten years ago when I was first diagnosed with Crohn's, so I have experience with it. It causes cancer in mice and rats. I'm not surprised because it seems like every drug I take causes cancer. Alcohol is forbidden while taking Flagyl and for at least three days after the last dose. Trust me, I'm not drinking anytime soon. Flagyl may affect certain lab test results. I've been known to feel dizzy while taking Flagyl, which is another side-effect. Because of that my mom has volunteered to drive me to school this week, and I'll hitch a ride to work with my sisters. Other possible side-effects include: persistent nerve problems, appetite loss, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, metallic taste, nausea, stomach upset or cramping, and trouble sleeping among others. The ones that I experience most are dizziness and nausea. Especially in a moving car.
The last ingredient in my medical cocktail is another antibiotic. This one is called Ciprofloxacin HCL 750 MG. I'm taking it every twelve hours, so twice a day. This drug came with eight pages of patient information. I've also taken Ciprofloxacin before, but I've never taken it at the same time as Flagyl. The key with this one is to drink plenty of water and to avoid caffeine. This drug scares me because it's known for it's increased risk of tendon problems. As a runner that's terrifying. These risks include pain, swelling, inflammation, and possible breakage of tendons. The Achilles tendon in the back of the foot/ankle is most often affected. This medicine may cause drowsiness, dizziness and lightheadedness. (yes, I feel like I'm experiencing brain fog. My mind isn't sharp and I'm finding it difficult to focus.) I'm supposed to avoid the sun while on this med because I'll burn more easily. Other side-effects include: diarrhea, dizziness, and nausea.
I've also been taking an Epson salt bath once a day to soak the tender area down below. Overall, my butt pain was relieved a little today. I'm moving a little better and the pain isn't as sharp. The swelling around my anus and to my panty line has gone down tremendously. The abscess is still releasing a discharge though. I'm not sure which drug is responsible for me actually remembering my dream last night, but I quite enjoyed it. I dreamt I was jumping on the bed with Jim Parsons, the guy who plays Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. After jumping on the bed for what seemed like hours, we proceeded to run around a park in our PJs popping bubbles with the joy a puppy has at the sniff of a treat. Can't wait to see what tonight's dream will be.
Second on the list of ingredients in my medical cocktail is an antibiotic called Flagyl (Metronidazole 500 MG). I'm taking it every eight hours, so three times a day. I used to take Flagyl about ten years ago when I was first diagnosed with Crohn's, so I have experience with it. It causes cancer in mice and rats. I'm not surprised because it seems like every drug I take causes cancer. Alcohol is forbidden while taking Flagyl and for at least three days after the last dose. Trust me, I'm not drinking anytime soon. Flagyl may affect certain lab test results. I've been known to feel dizzy while taking Flagyl, which is another side-effect. Because of that my mom has volunteered to drive me to school this week, and I'll hitch a ride to work with my sisters. Other possible side-effects include: persistent nerve problems, appetite loss, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, metallic taste, nausea, stomach upset or cramping, and trouble sleeping among others. The ones that I experience most are dizziness and nausea. Especially in a moving car.
The last ingredient in my medical cocktail is another antibiotic. This one is called Ciprofloxacin HCL 750 MG. I'm taking it every twelve hours, so twice a day. This drug came with eight pages of patient information. I've also taken Ciprofloxacin before, but I've never taken it at the same time as Flagyl. The key with this one is to drink plenty of water and to avoid caffeine. This drug scares me because it's known for it's increased risk of tendon problems. As a runner that's terrifying. These risks include pain, swelling, inflammation, and possible breakage of tendons. The Achilles tendon in the back of the foot/ankle is most often affected. This medicine may cause drowsiness, dizziness and lightheadedness. (yes, I feel like I'm experiencing brain fog. My mind isn't sharp and I'm finding it difficult to focus.) I'm supposed to avoid the sun while on this med because I'll burn more easily. Other side-effects include: diarrhea, dizziness, and nausea.
I've also been taking an Epson salt bath once a day to soak the tender area down below. Overall, my butt pain was relieved a little today. I'm moving a little better and the pain isn't as sharp. The swelling around my anus and to my panty line has gone down tremendously. The abscess is still releasing a discharge though. I'm not sure which drug is responsible for me actually remembering my dream last night, but I quite enjoyed it. I dreamt I was jumping on the bed with Jim Parsons, the guy who plays Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. After jumping on the bed for what seemed like hours, we proceeded to run around a park in our PJs popping bubbles with the joy a puppy has at the sniff of a treat. Can't wait to see what tonight's dream will be.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
A Nice Surprise
I don't talk much about my relationship with my twin, Leigha. Mostly because it's typically an antagonistic one. Well, her caring actions today came as a nice surprise. I'm not supposed to be driving while I'm on these two antibiotics until I see how they make me feel and since today was my first full day of being on them I didn't think I should be driving. Leigha was kind enough to drive me to the atm, to get lunch and to the grocery store. Her generosity didn't stop there. She chose to go to the drive up atm so that I wouldn't have to get out of the car because she knows how much it hurts for me to walk. She let me wait in the car while she went inside Chipotle to get lunch. And, she let me wait in the car at the grocery store while she went inside to get some kind of juice and fruit punch to help me down my medicine that tastes like rubber gloves. I'm thankful for my family taking care of my broken ass.
Friday, September 26, 2014
One Painful Day After Another
I woke up in a lot of pain and discomfort. It hurt to move. This morning I called my general physician's office to ask who I should see about my swollen and sore bottom. Naturally, the physician wasn't in today, but his nurse was and she recommended going to the OBGYN. I discussed this with my mom and we both had a gut feeling that wasn't the right answer, so I called my gastroenterologist's office to see what they thought. Naturally, my gastro wasn't in today either, but there was a nurse practitioner at the gastro office with an opening at 9:45am. So, I went to see him, Mike Jolly.
I don't care one way or the other about whether I have male or female doctors/nurses looking at me. I anticipated going into the appointment that I'd have to have a rectal exam done. I should be used to those by now, right? Nope, not really. His huge finger entered my strictured rectum and he said, "I believe you have a fistula."
He explained it more once I got dressed and he came back into the room. The news: I have an anal abscess, which is an infected cavity filled with pus found near the anus or rectum. Holy fucking shit, that explains why I'm experiencing so much pain. Just by feeling around my rectum with his finger he believes a fistula is forming because of the abscess. Also a huge contributor to the PAIN! He ordered the nurse to schedule an urgent appointment with my colorectal specialist/surgeon because be thinks I need surgery. I go to see the colorectal specialist on Tuesday... the same day as my Real Estate Appraisal mid-term, so we'll see how that goes. Jolly also prescribed two antibiotics, both with horrible side effects. However, at this point, I'll gladly take them over what I'm experiencing currently. And, he prescribed a high potent probiotic, which seems promising and insurance actually covered it.
I owe a big thank you to my mom. She has been amazing. Taking care of me and going above and beyond what I deserve. I cried hard today. I'm disappointed in my body. I'm trying to fight my tendency to slip into depression during rough health patches. Not sure if it's working. I don't want this body, but I want this life. So, I chug along. I'm grateful for the people praying for me. I'm still miserable. I'm scared about what news Tuesday will bring. I'm afraid of needing surgery. I'm afraid my body is starting to reject Cimza.
I don't care one way or the other about whether I have male or female doctors/nurses looking at me. I anticipated going into the appointment that I'd have to have a rectal exam done. I should be used to those by now, right? Nope, not really. His huge finger entered my strictured rectum and he said, "I believe you have a fistula."
He explained it more once I got dressed and he came back into the room. The news: I have an anal abscess, which is an infected cavity filled with pus found near the anus or rectum. Holy fucking shit, that explains why I'm experiencing so much pain. Just by feeling around my rectum with his finger he believes a fistula is forming because of the abscess. Also a huge contributor to the PAIN! He ordered the nurse to schedule an urgent appointment with my colorectal specialist/surgeon because be thinks I need surgery. I go to see the colorectal specialist on Tuesday... the same day as my Real Estate Appraisal mid-term, so we'll see how that goes. Jolly also prescribed two antibiotics, both with horrible side effects. However, at this point, I'll gladly take them over what I'm experiencing currently. And, he prescribed a high potent probiotic, which seems promising and insurance actually covered it.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Quite Possibly a Day From Hell
As I type this I have so much I want say, yet I'm not sure where to start. I'm not even sure if I'm brave enough to share what I want to say. I'm fighting back tears. I've worked hard since my grandpa's death to build back control of my emotional sensitivity. I know if I begin to cry over my health it will be difficult to reign it back into control. Is it pathetic when I cry for myself? It surprises me every time how quickly my health can do a 180 degree turn.
Today was supposed to be a big day. I have been planning for the past month on attending the career expo at UCF. However, I was up throughout the night going to the bathroom. I was running to the bathroom all morning, too. AND, my bottom between my panty line and rectum had become swollen and sore. It was uncomfortable to walk. I couldn't bring myself to attend the career expo because there's a lot of standing and walking involved. Plus, it's hard to focus on being professional and walking normally when I'm that uncomfortable. Hire me, I have a swollen colon. I probably would have skipped class today, too. Except I had a mid-term exam in my portfolio analysis class. What's up with me having super bad health days on the exact same days of important exams? I'm not the best at planning, but even I wouldn't be ignorant enough to schedule it like that. I managed to survive the trek to class. During the exam, I was fortunate that I didn't have to poop. The exam was hard, I was distracted by my butt issues, and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Frankly, I want to get the hell out of my body.
After I finished the exam, I drove to my parents' to have my mom look at my bum. She is amazing like that. I hate calling the doctor on these kind of issues. I'm finally okay with doctors looking in my down under holes, but when it's on the external area of my privates that's when I feel violated. I know that doesn't make any sense... I don't understand it either. My mom gave me some stuff to put on the swollen spot and said, "Which doctor do you call for something like that?" That's a good question. It's not in my vagina, so probably not the obgyn. It's not in my rectum, so probably not the colorectal. My gastro only looks at my bum during a colonoscopy and my general physician is always telling me he doesn't cover that area. I may be finding out the answer soon though if the stuff she gave me doesn't help.
Oh yeah, the stomach pain is still around, but it's less noticeable with my sore butt that's agonizing me.
Today was supposed to be a big day. I have been planning for the past month on attending the career expo at UCF. However, I was up throughout the night going to the bathroom. I was running to the bathroom all morning, too. AND, my bottom between my panty line and rectum had become swollen and sore. It was uncomfortable to walk. I couldn't bring myself to attend the career expo because there's a lot of standing and walking involved. Plus, it's hard to focus on being professional and walking normally when I'm that uncomfortable. Hire me, I have a swollen colon. I probably would have skipped class today, too. Except I had a mid-term exam in my portfolio analysis class. What's up with me having super bad health days on the exact same days of important exams? I'm not the best at planning, but even I wouldn't be ignorant enough to schedule it like that. I managed to survive the trek to class. During the exam, I was fortunate that I didn't have to poop. The exam was hard, I was distracted by my butt issues, and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Frankly, I want to get the hell out of my body.
After I finished the exam, I drove to my parents' to have my mom look at my bum. She is amazing like that. I hate calling the doctor on these kind of issues. I'm finally okay with doctors looking in my down under holes, but when it's on the external area of my privates that's when I feel violated. I know that doesn't make any sense... I don't understand it either. My mom gave me some stuff to put on the swollen spot and said, "Which doctor do you call for something like that?" That's a good question. It's not in my vagina, so probably not the obgyn. It's not in my rectum, so probably not the colorectal. My gastro only looks at my bum during a colonoscopy and my general physician is always telling me he doesn't cover that area. I may be finding out the answer soon though if the stuff she gave me doesn't help.
Oh yeah, the stomach pain is still around, but it's less noticeable with my sore butt that's agonizing me.
Dear Bowels
Dear Bowels,
Please stop this nonsense! It's only 9am and I've already had seven bowel movements this morning. I don't think there's much left inside to come out.
Love, Lauren
Please stop this nonsense! It's only 9am and I've already had seven bowel movements this morning. I don't think there's much left inside to come out.
Love, Lauren
Monday, September 22, 2014
If I Ignore the Pain, Will It Go Away?
Stomach pain greeted me yesterday in the late afternoon. I thought it might be gas pain, but after sounding the ass alarm (farting) the pain still wasn't relieved. I took a few craps... Mainly just sat on the toilet in hopes the pain would somehow work itself out. It didn't. All in all, My poops were a little loose and surprisingly beautiful nonetheless. What gives? The pain was uncomfortable, yet manageable today. I put on my happy face and lied to anyone who asked how I was doing. I know I've experienced far more agony than this. If I ignore the pain, will it go away?
I have officially started marathon training. I forget if I've started before, but now is go time! That's why I'm really trying to ignore this pain my stomach is insisting on feeling. I've created a training schedule that will get me up to 16 - 18 miles before my marathon in January, which is perfect for me. I ran about 2.5 miles today with the pain. It was difficult to start, but within a few minutes into it I was able to ignore the pain.
I have officially started marathon training. I forget if I've started before, but now is go time! That's why I'm really trying to ignore this pain my stomach is insisting on feeling. I've created a training schedule that will get me up to 16 - 18 miles before my marathon in January, which is perfect for me. I ran about 2.5 miles today with the pain. It was difficult to start, but within a few minutes into it I was able to ignore the pain.
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