I Am One Happy Lady

Prior to Saturday my plan was to trade in my car by the end of the year. I already had the money saved, but I wanted to put as many miles as possible on the Mazda before making a trade. I have had wicked new car fever for the past few months and I was itching to get rid of my Mazda. 

I had an appointment for an oil change at Mazda on Saturday. Somehow I had a feeling that a lot of work was going to be needed although I couldn't tell you what felt wrong with the car, so I blamed the feeling on my new car fever. I hypothesized scenarios with my dad about how much money I should be willing to put into the Mazda (even though at the time I didn't know anything was wrong with it) before saying no since I planned to trade it by the end of the year.   Anyways, it turned out it needed $1800 worth of work done. Something about the suspension, axle, brakes blah, blah, blah... I stopped listening after I heard $1800. I told the service lady not to perform any of the work, so I just paid for the oil change and tire rotation that they already performed and took my old lady (my 10 year old Mazda) home.


Obviously, I decided not to put the money into the Mazda. Once I got home I talked with my mom and dad. I was pretty set on getting a new Mazda6. However, I asked my parents to go with me to look at Mustangs to rule them out. My dad came along for fun because he also wanted to test drive one and I felt my mom came along because she's mom and I'd like both my parents there to consult with. Although I half expected my mom not to support the whole idea of getting a Mustang. Test driving seemed like a logical thing to do because I've never driven a Mustang before. Ever since I was a kid I have wanted a Mustang. In fact, when I first saw the 2015 body style of the Mustangs, I was disappointed because I knew this would be the year I would be in the market for a vehicle. I dislike the rear end of the 2015 Mustangs, but I went to Ford to make sure I really didn't like it. After all, it's been a dream since I was a kid. 

I told the sales guy I was looking for a coupe... preferably black. I also let him know that I liked the 2014 body style better than the 2015, but I needed to see the 2015 to rule it out. He took us to the pre-owned section first. This is where I found a black 2014 Ford Mustang Coupe V-6 with 26K miles on it for $18,900. I loved the body style and loved the way it felt when I sat in it, but I asked the sales guy if we could look at the 2015's and then maybe come back to the 2014. After looking at the new 2015 Mustangs, I knew right away I didn't even like it enough to test drive one. We headed back to the 2014 to test drive it. The guy made a copy of my license, told us the test drive route, and sent us on our way unsupervised. The sound of the engine was music to my ears. By the time I pulled back onto the lot, I was in love.

After my dad took it for a spin, we looked at the Carfax. The fact that it had been a rental almost made me walk away, but it was a certified pre-owned Ford that came with more warranty than a new vehicle. My parents and I discussed it and they didn't think it was a bad decision to get it, so I financed it. Adios Mazda! My credit score was beautiful and I qualified for their special APR. I did purchase some additional warranty to protect my investment. Plus, that gave me more peace of mind since I was apprehensive about it being a rental.  I even found out that they ordered leather for the vehicle and that was included in the price, so I'm going to schedule an appointment to get leather installed when it comes in.

Overall, I saved a ton of money by going with a pre-owned. I absolutely love it and that's how everyone should feel after getting a car. I have no buyers remorse. I certainly don't regret not getting a Mazda6. The Mustang is so much fun to drive! I can't stop smiling because I am one happy lady.

Switching Insurance Plans

At first, I wasn't concerned about switching off my parents' insurance plan and onto my own plan through work. However, I freaked out a little with the switch fast approaching. 

What if my current doctors aren't in network? What if my medication is no longer covered? What if I have to find new doctors and I go into a bad flare while waiting for "new patient" appointments? What if I have to find a new doctor and they want me to do a colonoscopy?

Those thoughts above are toxic. The negative and worrisome mindset is addictive and exhausting. I had to shut it down and go back to being nonchalant about the whole thing.  When dealing with insurance and doctors, I expect a crisis on the horizon. On the flip side, I am an adult and I probably have as much experience with insurance and doctors as your grandma. Plus, I have others with more experience in my corner. My plan is to take it one day at a time and handle any changes as they come because worrying about the "what if's" won't be beneficial.

Before I shut down the negative thoughts, I called my pharmacy to inquire if I had any refills available for Cimzia. To my surprise, I did. Wow, I got the refill without having to call my doctor to request it because the pharmacy communicated with my doctor! Anyways, I asked if I was cleared by insurance (still my parents') for a refill, or if I had to wait for my refill clearance to become available (I can only refill once every 3 1/2 weeks or so, so the refill window is sometimes tight). To my surprise, I was cleared for a refill. Long story short, my September dose of Cimzia was covered by my parents' insurance and will be here this week, which means I have a longer period of time to figure out my new insurance plan. It's a huge relief!

A Bachelorette Party

After work yesterday, I went out with a few ladies from the office for my supervisor's bachelorette party. We started the night with drinks and appetizers at Dexter's in Lake Mary (the same place I had my lunch interview with my supervisor and her supervisor). It's a completely different atmosphere at night. We all wore paper tiaras that said "Team Bride."   I started the night with a Blue Moon.

Next, we walked over to World of Beer. This is where the fun really started. Everyone got another round of drinks. This time I got a Guinness! For some reason the Guinness made them inquire about my relationship status....Like only single women drink dark beer.  I told them I am closer to becoming a rockstar than I am to being in a relationship. They laughed and inquired what my "type" is. I told them I don't really have a type and the one lady concluded that I'll bang anything.  I'm pretty sure everyone else ordered their third round while I was still working on my Guinness. We chatted, laughed, and drank. We all had a Cinnamon Toast Crunch shot and then I followed that with a vodka tonic.

We chatted up some guys and the one bought the bachelorette a shot. We stopped drinking alcohol around 8:30pm and started drinking water. We eventually made our way back over to Dexter's. They had a live band playing, so we danced. The bachelorette even got a shout out from the band. They didn't mention anything about my lack of dancing skill, so I guess I blended pretty well. We were all sober by 11pm, so we called it a night.

I had a great night getting to know the ladies better. They are fun and super chill. I have mad respect for them because they are hard working women that know how to have responsible fun. Most are mothers and/or wives a little older than I am, but they aren't like any parent or spouse I've ever met. They define the role of mother/wife differently than other people in my life. It sounds weird. It's hard to explain, but I like it.

Something's Gotta Give

Last Wednesday, I was overcome with nasty fatigue. I thought maybe it was because I used too many spoons at a pub crawl with work on Tuesday night. However, the fatigue has stuck around like an annoying zit that isn't welcome. Times like these make me glad that I'm not responsible for anyone except myself. I don't even feel like taking care of myself because it feels like a lot of work.

If I'm being honest about it, I probably noticed becoming more easily fatigued a month or so ago. Then I started running a couple of weeks ago.  It's hard. I'm slow as fuck. I find myself gasping for air and my legs screaming at me to stop... to which I tell them to shut up. After a one or two mile run, I feel like I've ran a marathon. I can say that because I know how that feels. I'm exhausted. It doesn't feel right. I totally understand that getting back into shape is hard, but I don't think it's supposed to be this difficult. I'm supposed to be athletic for crying out loud.  I have such little energy that taking a shower tires me out.

When people ask how I am, I tell them I'm doing great. For the most part it's true and I want it to be true, but it's not completely true. Fatigue is part of the invisible side of Crohn's.  I look normal and healthy, but really I'm struggling with energy.  Can't someone pay me to just sleep and poop?

I finished a 5k on Saturday and it was ugly... 40 minutes of ugliness. Typically, I would say 5k's are easy, but not anymore. 5k's deserve more respect than I previously gave them. I woke up, ran and mostly walked the 5k, went home, took a shower, and then slept until dinner. I ate dinner and then went back to bed. From Friday at 7:30pm until Sunday at 7:30pm I slept over 30 hours. The crazy thing is that I'm still tired.

Why am I so tired? Is this just typical for being out of shape? Heck, I've ran a half marathon without training before and it wasn't this hard. The last part of last week I went to work and then came home, ate dinner, took a shower, and went to bed just to do it all over again the next morning. Something's gotta give... I want to feel strong again. I want to feel like a runner again. I want the slight pain in my belly after a bowel movement to go away, so I can stop ignoring it. Ahh, is that pain I feel... no, I don't think so... you're just a wimp. I don't feel any pain. No, really though...was it pain? Maybe I'm just being paranoid about another flare looming.

Rewarded for Working Hard

If you asked me what my strengths are, I would tell you my strengths are being a quick learner and being a hard worker. I got my work ethic from my dad and he got it from his dad. I work hard without expecting praise and/or rewards for doing what needs to be done. My family isn't known for giving praise, so I grew up with either silence or criticism. I worked for my dad for 10 years and rarely got praised. It's just not his style, so it's always a little strange for me to get praised. Although I do love high fives!

My supervisor at Wharton-Smith gives me feedback on my work every week. She praises me by telling me how great I'm doing and telling me how impressed she is with how fast I catch on. Though I think she is super patient and a fantastic teacher. It makes me feel good and it takes the guessing game out of figuring out how well I'm doing at work. Last week, my supervisor took the praise a step further. She recommended me for a bonus and the VP of Finance and the President of the company approved it. I've only been with the company for five weeks and I got a bonus! I think that speaks volumes about how well I'm doing at work. In the past, typically my hard work was rewarded with letter grades, winning, scoring the most points, or just the satisfaction I get out of doing my best. This time, my hard work was rewarded with money!!!  I am falling more in love with Wharton-Smith every week.

I signed up for health benefits with Wharton-Smith. That will be kicking in September 1st. I'm feeling pretty adult-y about having my own health insurance through my company. I also will start contributing to my 401K through the company starting September 1st. After two years with the company, they begin matching. Once they begin matching I'll start contributing the maximum allowed to take full advantage of it. I also get life insurance, which will be enough to handle all of my debts (right now I only have student loan debt, but the life insurance is enough to cover student loan, auto loan, and part of a mortgage until they can sell my future house) and after death affairs, and still leave my beneficiary with some left over.

A Rock Star and Vaginal Farts

Rock star:

I just wanted to share this hilarious thing I heard on the radio this morning. A caller called in to talk about what part of life her and her circle of friends are in. After explaining that she is the only single one left in her circle of friends, the radio host asked if she was next to get hitched. To which she responded: I'm closer to becoming a rock star than getting married.  I laughed out loud and knew I will use that explanation in the future when someone asks me about my relationship status and marriage. I'm most definitely closer to becoming a rock star!

Vaginal Farts:

My vagina has farted a couple times this week. It sounds ridiculous, right?  At first I was caught off guard because I didn't feel it coming until it was already rattling my vaginal walls on it's way out... and by then it's too late to hide. It happened after my period ended. It made me giggle. How could I not find vaginal farts funny. I think anal farts are funny, but vaginal farts are even funnier to me. I didn't know they existed. For real though, I am so damn sexy and I know it! My vagina has puffed air like it's an asshole. lol I don't know. It didn't hurt. I've been Google-ing vaginal farts and comparing normal peoples' experiences with Crohn's disease patients' experiences.  For normal people it's no big deal. For people with Crohn's there usually ends up being a fistula involved. I'm curious ladies, does your vagina fart? I'd love to hear about it. No, I don't feel like this is too much information. I don't know that much about it and I want to learn more. It's not bothering me, but if it keeps up should I ask a medical professional about it? If so, would I ask my OB, gastro, PA, or colorectal specialist about vaginal farts?  Imagine the phone call, "Hey Doc, my vagina has been farting and I'm wondering if I should be concerned? 

I Pooped!!!!!

Today at work, I pooped! I even pooped again when I got home! Does anyone else get excited about taking a shit? As I flushed I pumped my fists into the air to celebrate before washing my hands. It's frustrating how one week I can be pooping my brains out and the next week I could be willing to give my life just to have a bowel movement. My life often revolves around my bowel habits.  It's kind of sad how much I think about it throughout the day. I know it could be worse, but I also know it could be better. I haven't had any stomach pain lately.

Perhaps the coconut oil pills helped the constipation. However, my money is on the Senokot laxative tablets. Shh, don't tell my doctor... I probably wasn't supposed to take those because she says senna, the active ingredient, can turn my colon black. As if my colon isn't ugly enough let me turn it black. That sounds like a title to a book: The Black Colon.

In other news, on September 1st I will be switching off my parents' insurance plan and onto my own plan through work. Once I do that there's no turning back. Thankfully, it's still with United Health Care, so I'm hoping the switch won't be too difficult regarding continued coverage for Cimzia. I'm not really concerned if I have to find different doctors in network because I'm not in love with my current doctors.  At least I'm not stressing about it. I'll deal with the switch when the time comes. I'm also getting vision, life and my 401k will kick in in October. I'm growing up and it feels good! I'm also looking forward to my 90 day review in October where it's likely I'll be getting a pay bump.

Constipation Update

It's been a week since I've had a good bowel movement.

I've been taking coconut oil pills twice a day since Thursday to get my mom off my back about it being "my fault" for being constipated. I verbalized my doubt of the coconut oil pills being able to help and she hopped on my back again. It's "my fault" they won't help because according to her I should have been taking coconut oil pills every day as a "preventative" for these kinds of things.  I disagreed and she got offended and is now being quiet about this round of constipation. I lost her support for this round, but can I really lose something I never really had this round?

Seriously, I understand that people care and want to help, but I despise when people blame me for my situation. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAVE CROHN'S! I know I don't always take proper care of myself. Mostly because I don't have the energy to or I don't care enough about myself to. If you have some miraculous solution or preventative treatment for Crohn's, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, chronic pain, anal leakage, and/or rectal bleeding, sell your idea and make millions. Don't harass me about your hypothetical cure.

My period is just finishing, so I don't know if this round of constipation is somehow related to that or not. I know my bowel habits are unpredictable around this time of month. I started taking Senokot tablets (it uses a natural vegetable laxative ingredient) instead of Miralax yesterday. I've had a few dip n' dots, but nothing that could be considered a real bowel movement. My stomach is starting to feel the pressure building from not being about to shit. The shit building up inside me makes the scale believe that I'm gaining weight, so that's the plus side.