Fart in a Bottle

Kim has been in town for the past week and she leaves to go home tomorrow. I wish we had more time to spend together. At dinner tonight with my family, I reminisced about the meltdown I had the last time she was in town and how far I have come since then. During Kim's last visit, I was just about a month into recovery from my first surgery. When she hugged me before she left to go to the airport, I lost it. I sobbed about how overwhelmed I felt with the stoma and ostomy. I cried because recovery was hard and it sucked. Tears also found my face-cheeks because I knew I was going to miss her. I was a mess. I felt defeated even though surgery went better than expected.

My family was shocked to learn that I had been overwhelmed and emotional about the surgery and ostomy. Is that a testament to my ability to keep things bottled up?  They couldn't have known I struggled coping with my new reality if I didn't tell them. For having uncontrollable bowels at times, I sure know how to keep shit to myself. My instincts were to avoid feelings, bury them, and hope they went away. For the most part, it worked. My emotional maturity is questionable. I don't know what it was about that moment with Kim that cracked the bottle with the things. Once she left, I collected myself and put the things back in the proverbial bottle.

I hugged Kim goodbye tonight and I didn't have a meltdown. There weren't any feelings I was suppressing either. I am a lot stronger emotionally and physically than I was a few months ago. I can't wait to see her in August!!!

I think if I trapped a fart in a bottle and I left it in there long enough, eventually it would not stink when I opened the bottle. I also think if I bottle up feelings long enough, eventually they will lose their potency when/if the bottle gets cracked. I could probably afford to get better at expressing myself. But then again, I think my "fart in a bottle" analogy is pretty fucking expressive. It could also be absolute bullshit.

A Rock Star and Vaginal Farts

Rock star:

I just wanted to share this hilarious thing I heard on the radio this morning. A caller called in to talk about what part of life her and her circle of friends are in. After explaining that she is the only single one left in her circle of friends, the radio host asked if she was next to get hitched. To which she responded: I'm closer to becoming a rock star than getting married.  I laughed out loud and knew I will use that explanation in the future when someone asks me about my relationship status and marriage. I'm most definitely closer to becoming a rock star!

Vaginal Farts:

My vagina has farted a couple times this week. It sounds ridiculous, right?  At first I was caught off guard because I didn't feel it coming until it was already rattling my vaginal walls on it's way out... and by then it's too late to hide. It happened after my period ended. It made me giggle. How could I not find vaginal farts funny. I think anal farts are funny, but vaginal farts are even funnier to me. I didn't know they existed. For real though, I am so damn sexy and I know it! My vagina has puffed air like it's an asshole. lol I don't know. It didn't hurt. I've been Google-ing vaginal farts and comparing normal peoples' experiences with Crohn's disease patients' experiences.  For normal people it's no big deal. For people with Crohn's there usually ends up being a fistula involved. I'm curious ladies, does your vagina fart? I'd love to hear about it. No, I don't feel like this is too much information. I don't know that much about it and I want to learn more. It's not bothering me, but if it keeps up should I ask a medical professional about it? If so, would I ask my OB, gastro, PA, or colorectal specialist about vaginal farts?  Imagine the phone call, "Hey Doc, my vagina has been farting and I'm wondering if I should be concerned? 

Gas

Did you know that the average person farts about 14 times each day? I forget where exactly I learned that fact. Perhaps it was in one of the many Uncle John Bathroom Readers I've read. Lately, I have certainly been bringing up the average. Flatulence sneaks out of me quickly. Before I realize what escaped my behind, my sisters' eyes start watering. For the most part, I usually feel better after I fart. Sadly, I don't always know a fart is coming until it's too late. Occasionally,  I feel farts coming I know I should not trust.

Kim informed me the other day that she can tell how bad I'm feeling by the smell of the hellish air puffs that come out of my anus. According to her assessment, I'm still not feeling very well. I was impressed because her assessment was correct. It's uncomfortable to hold them in...It builds pressure in my stomach and gives me the feeling I'm going to shit myself. I don't hold them in around family or close friends. When I'm in class, that's the most difficult time to hold them in. I'm not always successful. It would be embarrassing, but honestly there are so many people in the class no one would be able to pin point the fart on me. Thankfully, mine are silent, which may explain the deadly part of it. I've come close to knocking my sisters off their feet. I know I've made them cry more than once.