In the move, I found a bag containing patient info on prescriptions I took from 2003 to 2006, lab results from blood work within the same time period, and receipts from meds, lab work, and doctor appointments. It reminded me what I went through on my path to being diagnosed with Crohn's and my path after diagnoses. I'll have to write a post about the symptoms I experienced that led to me reaching out and telling my mom that I needed to go to the doctor. After that point, it began with my regular pediatric doctor who then referred me to an OBGYN. After several unpleasant visits with him involving long needles, biopsies, and pure misery he sent me back to my regular pediatric doctor, Dr. Q. I'm pretty sure I was still shitting blood at this point. Dr. Q. then referred me to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The pediatric gastro, Dr. S.B., ordered more tests that included stool samples, upper GI series, sonogram, and a colonoscopy where more biopsies were taken. I remember when I learned I had Crohn's disease November of 2003. I was fifteen. I had no clue what it was, but the fact that Dr. S.B. said there wasn't a cure absolutely terrified me. It still scares me, so I guess that means my faith in God is still a little shaky. When you're in that much pain and discomfort hearing there isn't a cure with medicine is devastating.
I became overwhelmed while going through the bag and seeing how many different prescriptions my young, sick self used to take after being diagnosed. I used to be very quiet around others regarding my health issues. I didn't want anyone to know I had a poop/butt disease. "Try to act normal," I used to tell myself. I hope now that I consider myself more open about the things I go through that it will help others understand me better. Even though I still catch myself trying to act normal so that I can lie and say that I'm fine on days when I'm not okay at all.
