It's Not My Fault, or Is It?

             Someone that means a lot to me recently implied that it's my fault for still having Crohn's disease.  I know once we talk this out we will work through it, but I will never be okay with getting blamed for this horrid disease. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago and ever since then I question my judgment of character. Not everyone understands what I go through, not everyone wants to understand. Most people I’ve opened up to about my experience with Crohn’s have completely accepted it and they have been supportive, which is all I can ever ask for. Others give off a false sense of compassion and it’s not until I’ve been at my worst, or they think they can cure me that things get sticky. I don’t know if the friends I’ve lost were ever really friends, but that’s what I considered them. They were at least friends when I was healthy. That’s usually the only kind of friends most people need. I am slow to befriend people because this has given me trust issues. I have different levels of relationships. Level 1: These people have proven that they will be there for me no matter what. Level 2: These people know about Crohn’s, but haven’t seen me deal with it. So, their true colors haven't had a chance to shine. Level 3: These people are in the befriending stage. This is where I learn about their values and make a judgment of their character to know if I want to open up to them.  Level 4: These are people who leave me with the feeling that they’re not worth my time nor are they worthy of my friendship. I will be friendly with them, but it doesn’t mean I will befriend them. The person that implied Crohn’s was my fault is in level 1! I'm still not sure why this pisses me off so much.

I think people mistake remission for a cure. Don’t get me wrong, remission is amazing, but it is not the same thing as a cure. Remission is the period of time during which the symptoms of a disease subside... meaning they will come back. A cure is something that stops a disease and makes someone healthy again for good. The accuser implied that a special diet will somehow cure Crohn’s and I only have Crohn’s because I haven’t tried more ways to find a "cure." Basically, if this can cure me, then this can cure you even if we don't have the same thing. Though I don’t appreciate someone implying that it’s my fault that I’m sick because I don't want to be healthy bad enough, I can appreciate someone wanting to find a cure to see my suffering end. Scientifically, Crohn’s is a chronic disease with no known cure, yet somehow I’ve heard numerous people claim to know how to cure me. It irritates me every time. Pills, diets, yoga to name a few samples of proclaimed cures. If that’s the case, why aren’t they making millions of dollars curing people? No one knows what causes Crohn's either. With Crohn’s something that puts someone in remission may not work for anyone else. Treatment is very much a case by case basis. Just like symptoms from patient to patient can vary widely. I want a cure as bad as anybody, but I am not on board with home remedy shit that will likely make me sicker.