Life Lesson #513

Recently, I've gotten a full grasp on the fact that there is usually more than one "right" way to do something. Adults all have their own routines. If there are only a few dishes to wash, I'll wash them by hand instead of putting them into the dishwasher. Whereas my mom will put everything into the dishwasher. You see, it doesn't matter which way you do it because the end result is the same, clean dishes. My procedures and routines aren't my way or the highway. I don't care how you get the dishes clean as long as your highway is taking you to the same destination that my way would have taken me to. However, if you tried to clean the dishes in the washing machine, I'd have to re-direct your course of action. So, correct me and offer me advice when I'm on a path that won't lead me to the desired destination.

The dishes were just a silly example. I love that my family feels free to give me their unsolicited opinions about anything you could imagine, but sometimes their narrow minded comments annoy the crap out of me. Okay, if that was true, I wouldn't be constipated right now. Anyways...

When I put my pants on in the morning, do you think I put the left leg or right leg in first? Perhaps I sit on the bed and put both legs in at the same time. Does it really matter?  Live and let live. Better yet, be open minded and you may learn something.

Update on Life

School is no doubt keeping me busy. It seems I spend all of my free time reading, studying, doing homework, and working on projects for each class.  The three classes I'm juggling are going surprisingly well. Except for the fact that I'm making the lowest grade in the class I love the most (portfolio analysis)... go figure. I've got an exam this week in portfolio analysis and then I will have the final exams left in each class. I'm about finished with my huge home appraisal project for my real estate class. Seriously, I can't wait to turn that in on November 4th. After this week, I'll start preparing for finals, which happens to be right around the corner. =)

My social life is pretty much dead. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way at the moment. I really don't have the energy to keep up with anyone. I feel like a hermit, which is weird because usually that quality in others annoys me. I'm certainly in an odd frame of mind. I seem way more introverted than normal. My self esteem kind of dropped when I got that abscess and I haven't quite built it back up yet.

Marathon training went well for two weeks and then today happened. I logged 20 miles last week. I started out feeling well until my ugly bowel movements caught up to me in the form of stomach pain this morning. I was supposed to run today, but my body doesn't feel up for it. I'm taking today off in hopes I'll feel better by my Wednesday run.

My health has been somewhat unpredictable. I would consider myself constipated for the past week with only puss and small amounts of blood passing. There wasn't anything I would label as fecal matter. I felt great at the beginning of last week. However, the constipation and bloody puss slowly caught up to me. Over the weekend, I felt fatigued, which could be caused by losing too much blood. Today, my stomach has been in pain and it hurts to move.  Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow because I've got a marathon to train for.

Boundless Energy

When I put aside all of the crap my body gives me and forget about my asshole being an asshole, I really am wonderstruck by how amazing my body can be. I got a taste of its potential this morning at the UCF race even though my bowel movements still aren't back to my normal. I took three weeks off of training for the abscess before getting in two training runs last week for today's race. I ran 4.5 miles with a 10:31 minute per mile pace. It was far from a personal record, but the fact that I was able to bypass three weeks of training and pick right back up where I left off was gratifying. I ran 3:1 intervals during the race.  When I feel well, running seems naturally effortless to me. On the course today, I felt myself falling in love all over again with running. With perfect racing weather, my shoes hit the pavement and fell into a rhythm as I inhaled and exhaled. Boundless energy fueled my muscles. I caught myself smiling during the race because bliss overwhelmed me.  I finished strong!

UCF Graduation Planning

At the beginning of the week, I filed my ITG (intent to graduate) for the Spring of 2015!  I will be graduating from The University of Central Florida with my B.S.B.A. (Bachelor's of Science in Business Administration) in Finance. I'm not sure of the exact date and time yet, but I do know the College of Business commencement will be held sometime May 7th, 2015 to May 9th, 2015. Registration opens for my last class in the Spring Monday, November 24th.  I'm sure after I register for that final class it will sink in that I'm actually going to do this.  

I’ll get five graduation tickets for family and friends to attend my graduation ceremony, and I also plan on entering the lottery to get more tickets for my other fans. Taylor plans to come up from South Florida to attend, which I’m already excited for. Veronica is willing to fly from Austin, TX just to see and celebrate my graduation, and that means the world to me! My mom, dad and Kim get the dibs on the other three guaranteed tickets. I wish I had another guaranteed ticket for Brittany. Nonetheless, I’m going to enter the lottery to win graduation tickets for Brittany, Leigha, Kelly and my Uncle Len. It sucks because I’m not guaranteed those tickets. If Veronica can’t get off work to attend, I’m going to give her graduation ticket to Brittany.

I have huge tentative plans for celebrating this amazing achievement with anyone that wants to celebrate it with me. As soon as Sak Comedy releases its schedule for May 2015 I'm going to purchase a Slice of Life during their Duel of Fools Improv show Friday night on May 8^th, 2015. Once I get the Slice of Life reserved, I'll send out invites to all my family and friends to come enjoy the show to celebrate with me.  For the Slice of Life, I’ll have my family and friends fill out a questionnaire with gathered stories and information about me, and then the improvisers will make me the star of the show by reading what my family and friends wrote before they improvise a musical about my life.  

The fun doesn’t stop there. The next activities on my agenda are more difficult to plan because I won’t know which day my graduation will actually fall on until January. I’m going to invite my sisters and Brittany, Taylor and Veronica to celebrate with me at Magic Kingdom. I want to celebrate at the Magic Kingdom by making reservations at Cinderella’s Royal Table inside the castle for lunch and making reservations at the Be Our Guest Restaurant for dinner. The ideal day to celebrate at Magic Kingdom would be Saturday, May 9^th because Taylor and possibly Veronica will still be in town. However, my graduation ceremony might be that Saturday. In which case, we won’t be going to Magic Kingdom. The safest day to plan Magic Kingdom would be Sunday, May 10^th, but by that time Taylor and Veronica will be heading home later in the day on Sunday, so it wouldn’t be worth it for them. My tentative plan is to get a head count of who would be interested in going each day, and then I’ll make reservations when they become available the beginning of November for Saturday, May 9^th, and I’ll get one of my sisters to make reservations for Sunday, May 10^th. That way when I find out in January which day my graduation is going to be on, we can cancel one of the reservations since we’ll still have another reservation active.  I know it’s expensive, but with advance planning I can get discounted Disney tickets at UCF. Even so, I’ll understand if it’s too expensive for everyone to join. I’m hoping with advance notice it will allow adequate time for those that want to join to save up for it.

The Abscess is Gone

It's been three weeks since I got my first abscess. I endured two weeks of heavy antibiotic treatment. My bowel movements still aren't back to normal. Giving antibiotics to someone with IBD seems like cruel and unusual punishment. I guess the punishment was worth it though. Today, at my follow up appointment with my colorectal specialist, I had another rectal exam where Dr. Mueller concluded that the abscess is gone! It's such a huge relief to get the all clear. Even though I knew I wasn't in pain anymore, I'm always second guessing my body because it doesn't always know what it's telling me. "The abscess is gone." Those words were music to my ears. She actually seemed pretty surprised that the antibiotics took care of the abscess and I didn't have to visit her before my follow up. She also made it clear that if I ever think another abscess is forming I'm to contact her first asap. Yeah, uh-huh, sure lady whatever you say. There better not be another one! The thought of another abscess in the future freaks me out because I know when I see her first that I'll likely end up in surgery. I hope I never have to find out if antibiotics that make me feel like death are better or not than having surgery.

During the exam Mueller loosened my tight anus/rectum with her finger. I didn't think anything of it at the time. It felt as uncomfortable as I'm accustomed to it feeling.  However, when I got home and had tons of blood in my stool, I wondered what the heck she did inside there. Sure, I'm used to some blood occasionally, but this wasn't even "normal" for me. I'm patiently waiting to having another BM to see if it's cleared up or not. I'm not in any pain, so it can't be that bad, right?

Try & Try Again

I've lost count of how many times I've "started" marathon training for my January 2015 race. Today, I started again. I have less than three months, which is about 13 weeks to get my shit together. I mean that somewhat literally. I was able to trust a fart today for the first time in three weeks, so I must be on the right track, right? Still got wicked diarrhea, but at least it's controllable for the most part. I'm hoping my bowels will be back to normal soon since I'm off the antibiotics. Damn Crohn's disease for making me lose valuable training days, weeks,  and months. I go to the colorectal specialist this Thursday for yet another rectal exam. This upcoming appointment will either give me the all clear to move forward with training, or crush my plan of finishing the marathon in January. Since I'm not experiencing any pain, I'm hoping for the all clear.

I'm confident I can train enough to cross the finish line in January as long as I'm healthy. I intend to finish the U Can Finish 5 miler this Sunday. I went out for two miles today just to get a feel for what to expect on Sunday. I found strength I've been lacking these last few weeks and pushed to average 11 minutes and 25 seconds per mile. Some folks train for weeks and months to get those numbers. I didn't break any personal records, but I did gain confidence, strength and purpose. After feeling helpless and unable to do normal things for a couple of weeks, it was a special run for me. No matter which emotional, physical, or mental rollercoaster I'm on, I will always be grateful for the opportunity to lace up my running shoes once again.

I'm confident that I can run five miles this Sunday. I'm fairly positive that I can finish the two half marathons that I'm registered for at the end of November and beginning of December. I'm hopeful that I can finish the marathon in January. Some people will question whether it's a good idea for me to try. I already have a DNF on my marathon record, but that is not going to stop me from trying again. It's going to inspire me to push harder because I have tasted the sweet victory of crossing the finish line after recovering from shitty health issues. It's empowering. It allows me to feel unstoppable in this life when it seems like everything is trying to stop me.

Crohn's: In The Beginning

In the move, I found a bag containing patient info on prescriptions I took from 2003 to 2006, lab results from blood work within the same time period, and receipts from meds, lab work, and doctor appointments. It reminded me what I went through on my path to being diagnosed with Crohn's and my path after diagnoses. I'll have to write a post about the symptoms I experienced that led to me reaching out and telling my mom that I needed to go to the doctor. After that point, it began with my regular pediatric doctor who then referred me to an OBGYN. After several unpleasant visits with him involving long needles, biopsies, and pure misery he sent me back to my regular pediatric doctor, Dr. Q. I'm pretty sure I was still shitting blood at this point. Dr. Q. then referred me to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The pediatric gastro, Dr. S.B., ordered more tests that included stool samples, upper GI series, sonogram, and a colonoscopy where more biopsies were taken. I remember when I learned I had Crohn's disease November of 2003. I was fifteen. I had no clue what it was, but the fact that Dr. S.B. said there wasn't a cure absolutely terrified me. It still scares me, so I guess that means my faith in God is still a little shaky.  When you're in that much pain and discomfort hearing there isn't a cure with medicine is devastating.

I became overwhelmed while going through the bag and seeing how many different prescriptions my young, sick self used to take after being diagnosed. I used to be very quiet around others regarding my health issues. I didn't want anyone to know I had a poop/butt disease. "Try to act normal," I used to tell myself.  I hope now that I consider myself more open about the things I go through that it will help others understand me better. Even though I still catch myself trying to act normal so that I can lie and say that I'm fine on days when I'm not okay at all.