This Smile is Glued to My Face

I have officially accepted the job offer for the contracts/risk specialist position. I will transfer on Monday, March 21st to my new cube downstairs. I am super excited about this opportunity!

Above is a snip from the e-mail that confirmed my entry into the 2016 TCS NYC Marathon! I won the lottery! 

My lab results are in. Although they have improved slightly, the doc wants me to start taking iron again because my levels are still too low. He didn't mention anything about switching meds and since I'm feeling ok, I didn't ask.

It's not even Wednesday and this week has already been a whirlwind. When I have more time, I'll post more about my new position and NYC.

Big Week Next Week

Why does it seem like everything in life happens all at once. Next week is big because I'll be hearing back about the job either way, the lottery drawing for the NYC marathon is on Tuesday, and I should be getting my lab results back and hopefully feedback from my doctor about whether I'll be staying on Cimzia or not.

I interviewed for the contracts/risk specialist position on Thursday. There were two interviewers in the room and another interviewer on a video conference call. It was a little intense to be on the video screen during the interview. Questions flew at me in all directions. One right after the other for 45 minutes. At one point, I thought that interviews should be called interrogations instead.  I never trust my vibes about things like this, so time will tell how it went. I can say that I'm pretty happy the way I answered the questions and I think my closing questions were solid. One of my questions was, "Do you see any gaps in my qualifications that would prevent you from offering me the position?"  If offered the position, they know I would be transferring from a different department, so I told them that we would have to discuss the time frame with my supervisor to make a smooth transition.  I'll find out next week if I got it or not. I really want to get this job offer. Either way it turns out, at least, I know I did my best.

I am pretty much freaking out about the lottery drawing on Tuesday!!!!! I want to get in so badly even though I am so out of shape that I have trouble running two straight miles without walking. I know there's only like an 18% chance that I'll get in, but I'm totally getting my hopes up about it.

I just got home from getting lab work done, finally. After three weeks, I felt healthy enough for it. The nurse struck gold on the first try, which is super rare. Plus, she didn't even have to move the needle around inside me to find the vein. She hit it right away. My arm doesn't even hurt. I hope to get the results back next week with feedback from my doctor. These labs are supposed  to tell us if I'm still anemic and if Cimzia is still working.  I stopped taking iron again last week and my period started yesterday, so I'm not very optimistic about my iron levels; However, I am optimistic about whether Cimzia is working or not. I have not been having any pain and my poop has been pretty good lately.

Lab Results 10.30.15

I got my lab results back. Now, I just have to wait to hear back from my doctor about how much iron I should be taking and whether I should be doing anything else.

Test Name                    Value                    Reference Range
Iron, Serum                     18                       35 - 155 ug/DL
Iron Saturation                 5                        15 - 55 %
Hemoglobin                    9.2                      11.1 - 15.9 g/DL
C - Reactive Protein       11.7                     0.0 - 4.9 mg/L

I highlighted what I think are the most important values that were out of range on my results. Yes, I read my own lab results. I needed some help from Kim and Google on some of them though.

As expected my iron and hemoglobin levels are nowhere near where they should be. I'm not sure how worried I should be about this because I know my levels have been this low before.

The C-Reactive Protein test is interesting because it measures general levels of inflammation in my body. Crohn's must be hard at work inflaming everything. I'm surprised I'm not having more issues.

A Bad Week

Wow, so it has been a long week. My appointment with the dermatologist's P.A. Jessie Chan went well. She gave me a different diagnosis: Seborrheic Dermatitis. Jessie explained it as a severe case of dandruff, which is weird because I didn't even know I had dandruff. She also noticed that my hair is already starting to regrow! What a relief! I was prescribed a shampoo and a topical steroid. I've already started using the shampoo, but I'm still waiting for Jessie, insurance, and the pharmacy to work out which steroid will be covered. I go back in 4 weeks. Last week, hair was at the top of the list of my problems and this week it's something else.

This week my top problem has been energy.  I have been really dragging. This was spring break week for me and the most notable thing I did was sleep for 13 hours Wednesday night. Last weekend, I really didn't feel like running two half marathons, but I just thought it was a depressive reaction to the whole hair loss situation. I dug deep and finished both races. This whole week though I was sleeping any chance I had. I found myself napping in the back of my car during my lunch break at work. As soon I got home from work each day I went to the bathroom and then laid in bed. I had no energy. I imagine I felt like death. I was going through the motions even though I didn't really feel like I was there. I'm not suicidal, but I found myself thinking, I can't wait to die. I only say that because it sucks having to live life by carrying out my routine of work (and usually school) while feeling like crap. I tried to tie myself together with a smile for my family and friends. Some can see right though while others just go along with it. It took every ounce of energy to hang out with my friend Brittany Monday night at Dave & Busters. I needed it though. Plus, I don't see her enough, so it was worth it.  Heck, it was spring break.

I had blood work done on Wednesday and the nurse called me on Thursday to inform me that my iron count is really low. She said I have iron deficiency anemia. No wonder I've felt like shit. I've started taking iron supplements (FES04) twice a day to help. So far, I'm not feeling the energy return. Oh yeah, and I've been having some stomach pain. I haven't had the energy to even care. I just wish I was completely healthy. Sure, I wiggle my way to find success while being sick. But, I think this illness is wasting the potential that can't find it's way out of me when I'm too tired to do anything except sleep and moan in pain and poop.  Times when I feel like this is when I want to give up. I want to quit school. I want to quit work. I want to quit my family. I want to quit my friends. All I want is my head on a pillow where I can drift off to sleep and dream about things I'll never remember when I awake. Oh, how disappointed I am whenever I awake. I've never quit though. Somehow I always make it, somehow.