Falling Baby Dolls

I walked 2.5 miles with my Team Challenge peeps this morning for the Turkey Trot. We kept a 17 minute pace, which felt like a super fast walk to me. Kim even went with me to "evaluate" if I should be doing the half marathon tomorrow.  I was surprised how well I felt. I didn't struggle to breathe and my legs felt stronger than I expected. Kim and my Team Challenge peeps agree that I should at least walk the half marathon tomorrow since there is a 7 hour time limit for the course. This makes me happy because after picking up my race packet yesterday, the pre-race excitement is running through my veins.

Of course, there's a catch. I'm constipated. I haven't pooped since Wednesday. I took laxatives on Thursday and Friday, but I still haven't pooped. I won't be taking any laxatives today because I don't want them to start working during the race. I just hope my stomach feels okay tomorrow. Two weeks ago I was pooping about every hour and now I can't even poop. This disease makes no sense. My bowel habits are almost always on my mind.

In other news, I remembered the dream I had last night. As much as I sleep I rarely remember my dreams, so this is exciting for me. Tons of naked baby dolls were falling from the ceiling and whoever collected the most in a minute won. I never saw anyone else trying to collect the baby dolls in my dream though. It was just me running around picking up as many naked dolls as I could. It hurt when the falling dolls fell on my head, so I was trying to avoid the falling dolls in the process. It was the longest minute ever... Super strange.

Energy

My energy is still lacking, but I think it is slowly improving. I have signed up for the Team Challenge virtual Turkey Trot to benefit the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America. I'll be meeting up with Team Challenge peeps Saturday morning after Thanksgiving to get our trot on. I know I'm in no shape to run, so I plan to mostly walk.  I haven't exercised in months and my low iron and hemoglobin levels make exercising seem harder than it should be. I'm signed up for the Space Coast Half Marathon on Sunday after Thanksgiving. I told everyone I'm not doing the race. When I told them, it was what they wanted to hear and I also had no intention, at the time, to do the race.

Well, I'm starting to feel slightly better and I've started to consider doing the race. In fact, I'm doing the Turkey Trot with Team Challenge to test the waters to see if I think I could do Space Coast. I really want to do the race, but I don't know if my body is in agreement.  My body tends to be my biggest antagonist. I've done half marathons before without training. This is a little different because I'm not quite as healthy as I usually am. I don't know if I should start the race without knowing I'll definitely finish, or if I should only start the race if I know for sure I'll finish. Shouldn't I try? Isn't it better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all?  If I decide to do the race, I know it won't be easy. I can't say for certain that I'm mentally strong enough to fight through the inevitable walls that I would hit.  I feel like I need to taste the victory of the finish line even if it will likely be my worst half marathon to date.  That sweet taste of victory might be enough to motivate me to make it across the finish line.