Caution: Adulting Ahead

I recently become a certified Construction Risk Insurance Specialist (CRIS).  A few weeks later I received a promotion!  My duties have been slowly changing over the past couple months. I'm training our new Contracts/Risk Specialist on negotiating terms and conditions for our purchase orders and subcontracts. I've been getting more involved in owner and other special agreements. I've also been handling more claims (workers compensation, auto, builder's risk, general liability, as well as bond claims). It's exciting and I'm learning a lot!  

The people I work with are great! The department I am in operates as a strong team without any drama. We have a department meeting next month to discuss the succession plan for when our director retires. I'm confident our culture will remain the same throughout the forthcoming changes. 

So, what's next?  I'm going to keep working hard. In the next month or two, I'm going to start the process of getting approved for a mortgage so that I can weigh my options of renting vs. buying. *gasp* This level of adulting is a bit daunting. I'm working on paying off my medical debt, increasing my savings, and improving my credit score to be strong enough to withstand a few dings when I apply without bringing it below excellent. 

Full of Shit on the Fourth

Inquiring minds want to know how my bowel movements have been, so I decided to write my Shit Horoscope.  My pooping habits haven't been regular lately. Constipation has been ruling my zone with occasional diarrhea increasing the unpleasant atmosphere in my colon. There are either too many poo vibes or not enough. Advice from others is not likely to be helpful, but fresh perspectives could change my outlook. Being full of shit is essential before the moon will allow waves in the bowl.

In all seriousness, constipation has been an issue for the past month or two. I'm shitting once every three to four days. While diarrhea is a huge relief from the constipation it still sucks! Constipation drags me down and diarrhea wipes me out.  Before the surgery, I pooped three to four times a day. When I go one day without taking a crap, my stomach  starts to feel uncomfortable. Each day of constipation adds to the pressure in my gut. I get the sensation of having to poop, and then I sit on the toilet for hours with no success. The feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night. 

On July 4th, I ran a four mile race with Lynn. I had not pooped in four days and being full of all the shit slowed me down. It wasn't until I arrived at the race that I realized how terrible I felt. My stomach didn't feel well. I had the urge to poop, but I knew I wouldn't be able to so I didn't even try. I walked a lot.  It was hard to run with the uneasy feeling. My average pace was 11 minutes per mile, which was slower than my first race back after surgery. I was definitely disappointed in my performance because my training runs leading up to the race were significantly better. 

I can turn off nearly every thought except my thoughts about the state of my bowels. When will I poop again? When will I stop pooping? What if I shit myself at work? Can you tell I'm constipated right now by looking at my face? If I poop before my run, it will be an amazing run! I am bearing down too hard. I'm going to give myself hemorrhoids. What if I have a blockage?  I sweated more sitting on the toilet trying to push out a tiny dip n' dot turd than I did when I ran the four mile race. I just want a beautiful bowel movement every day. I will be grateful for my good shits even though they don't occur as frequently as I would like.