I've been getting tons of good vibes from family and friends. It's great to know that people care. It's interesting to hear people's different thoughts about the procedure I'll be getting done on Tuesday. The common theme seems to be positivity. I'm constantly reminded that "it could be worse." From my point of view, I think, it could also be better.
Am I worried about Tuesday? No, I've always wanted an operation done on my ass. It's a dream come true, really. That's sarcastic positivity at it's finest.
My mentality has improved since the beginning of the year. However, one of my concerns, going into surgery, is that my mental strength will slip away. I've worked hard to find happiness again. I'm anxious about the possibility of becoming depressed. I expect to struggle with it, but I know if recovery keeps me from training for too long, it will be difficult to fake positivity. Yes, some of my positivity is fake. See my sarcastic positivity above. Get over it. I fake smiles and I fake feeling well, so this shouldn't be a huge shock. I fake it to make people feel more comfortable and to prevent my negativity from shading positive vibes. I fake it for myself, too. I will fake it until I make it genuine.
It all goes down at the Surgery Center when I check-in at noon on Tuesday, April 12, 2016.
