Please, excuse my arrogance. I often wonder how awesome I would be if I didn't have a chronic disease. Positive self thoughts have not been coming easily to me lately, but yesterday I feel like I had a break though. I crossed the finish line of the Space Coast Half Marathon yesterday! It was also my third year in row of crossing the Space Coast finish line, so I qualified as a Milky Way Challenge finisher and received another super cool medal. If you've ran any kind of distance, you know it takes as much mental strength as it does physical strength. It took me 3 hours and 42 minutes, which was exactly a 17 minute per mile pace. I can't even be upset that it was my worst half marathon I've ever completed time wise.
Kim and I did 10 and 30 intervals with the 3 hour and 30 minute pacer, where we ran for 10 seconds and walked for 30 seconds at a time, until mile 9. I know the intervals seem ridiculously easy, but after 9 miles I couldn't keep up. My legs were on fire, my back hurt, my feet were screaming at me, and my arms were in discomfort, too. Yes, it took me 9 miles to hit "the wall." I was expecting to hit the wall much sooner, but I think keeping a slow and steady pace from the start helped to lengthen the distance to the wall. Kim told me, "You can do it. You're doing great." My reply was, "I know." The truth is walking those last four miles seemed killer, but I didn't once think about quitting. After all I know pain and the pain I experienced on the course was minor compared to the pain I had after the MRI. I knew I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Once we passed mile 12 I asked Kim if we could run a little to make it to the finish line under 3 hours and 45 minutes. She said, "What's the point? We're already sucking." I know my race wasn't pretty, but ouch. We didn't run until we saw the finish line in sight, but we did pick up our walking pace for the last mile. I'm thankful Kim sacrificed her race to stay with me because I don't think I would have done as well without her. After the race, I apologized for sucking. Even though I was elated that I finished and somehow in my twisted head I felt like a badass for crossing that finish line!
Kim was my support while others told me, "You have no business doing that race." La de da, whatever... I needed to cross that finish line! Strangely, I feel like it gave me a positive boost to my mentality. Although I'm still doing the post half marathon shuffle, once the soreness has gone away I think I may try to start running again. After all, running is a great anti-depressant.
Side note: I'm still constipated, but my belly hasn't started hurting yet.
