Upon checking in at the Cleveland Clinic, Taylor and my parents received visitor stickers. Cleveland Clinic also gave them a pager that my surgery team would send updates to. The waiting room slowly started to fill up with other patients. A short time later, the one check-in lady called my name along with five other names. I didn't hug anyone and I don't know if I said anything. I stood up and followed the leader to my pre-op staging area leaving Taylor and my parents behind in the waiting room.
Nurse Debbie made me pee in a cup to prove I wasn't pregnant. When Debbie asked how much I weighed, I said, "160-ish". She didn't think that was exact enough, so she asked me to step on the scale. I weighed in at 159.4. I told her, "the negative .6 was the ish". I took off all of my clothes, changed into a hospital gown, and got into the hospital bed. The needle of the IV Debbie hooked me to was so big that she had to give me a numbing shot before inserting the needle for the IV. My doctor and his team of fellows and residents stopped by and confirmed that we don't know what's going to happen in surgery until he gets in there. He also inquired about my ability to control my bowels, which I haven't had any issues with since I started Remicade in May of 2016. I signed my life away, Debbie finished getting me ready, and then she paged my support team to come back to see me.
It felt awkward to have Taylor and my parents there as they prepared me to be rolled away to the operating room. I'm sure we had small talk, but I don't remember what anyone said. Taylor snapped the photo below.
It's crazy what you can mask by giving two thumbs up and putting a smile on your face. I don't look terrified. I don't look like I'm mourning my quality of life leading up to surgery. I don't look unsure. I don't look hopeless. I don't look like I'm breaking down. In all fairness, I tried not to let myself lose it openly and it seemed to work (no wonder I have a disease to my gut, huh?). Taylor and my parents hugged me and left. Seconds later I was being wheeled to the operating room.
I lost count how many different people asked for my name, date of birth, and to describe what surgery I was there for. The last one seemed like a trick question because there were so many different possibilities of what could happen during surgery, so I told them the best outcome and mumbled the scary possibilities. The operating room was filled with at least ten people. Machines and equipment I've never seen before surrounded me. The room was cold and white. I had to roll onto the operating table from the hospital bed I was in. I remember someone saying they were about to start the IV. A tear may have found my cheek. I don't remember counting down or anything after that while in the operating room.
Surgery took about five hours. It started around 8:30am and finished around 1:30pm. I was in recovery for about two hours before visitors could visit me one at a time for five minutes each. I remember the nurse kept asking me if I was in pain. In my groggy state, I kept saying no. The nurse seemed concerned that I didn't seem to be in pain, so I asked her if they gave me something in surgery for the pain. After looking it up, she confirmed that I did not receive any pain blockers during surgery. I was in and out of it for a while, not conscious enough to be concerned with asking how surgery went or looking at my belly under the blankets and hospital gown. I heard my mom's voice, which woke me up. When she asked if they told me the news, I said no. That's how I found out I had a temporary ileostomy and it will likely be reversed in three months. I think I went back to sleep after she told me. I remember Taylor visiting me, too! She was excited I was in curtained room number 13. I don't remember my dad visiting me, but I'm sure he did. It's all a blur.
I stayed in the curtained recovery room for about 4-5 hours until they finally had a hospital room open up for me. Thankfully, I had a hospital room all to myself and didn't have to share it with another patient. I don't remember much else from that day. I'm still not entirely sure what they did during surgery. This is how my discharge papers describe the operation:
- Laparoscopic sigmoid colectomy with laparoscopic mobilization of splenic flexure, takedown of colovesical fistula, colorectal anastomosis, laparoscopic mobilization of splenic flexure, intraoperative flexible sigmoidoscopy, intraoperative rigid proctoscopy, and laparoscopic ileocolic resection with anastomosis with loop ileostomy.
This song sums up my message to Crohn's disease! https://youtu.be/8fEoWA9Vz3A
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